FB 4/4 - Chris puts effort into explaining why he won't get a job

I agree. The majority of my employees are all just entering the work field, so the positions I hire for are easy enough for teenagers to figure out. However, I probably wouldn't hire Chris. I do quick Google/FaceBook inspections before I hire anybody. If I had never heard of Chris, and I Googled him, the first take of him screaming at a camera would be all it would take for me to Ross his application.

 

Autistic logic strikes again.

 

......He got two in the pink and one in the stink?

 

Or chris saying anything to get money/china/out of a beating.

 

Chris is referring to getting banned from Lulu after they recognized Sonichu as fanfiction. He's often used that kind of language when talking about it.

 

Now if only he put this much effort into explaining why he can't get laid

 

Also the government gives a tax break to employers who hire handicapped people.

I know of a guy who works at a Wal-Mart who has pulled a gestapo style interrogation on kale and dropped the people's elbow on a box of oranges, in full view of customers.

 

Sure, there's discrimination against trans and mentally ill people in the workplace. I read an article that 80% of mentally ill people in the US are unemployed. That however, is the least of Chris's concerns. His laziness, general unpleasantness and social ineptitude would do him in at a job. It wouldn't take too many JULAAAY calls to his place of employment and he'd be fired. Plus if he works with the public weens will go to where he works to screw with him.

As others have said, all states are required to offer vocational rehabilitation to disabled people. There are many companies who go out of their way to hire disabled people (Walmart is one of them). There are even some companies that hire disabled people like there are companies that hire felons to keep them from re-offending. There's the federal Ticket to Work program that Chris could enroll in as a Social Security recipient to find work and he could make about $1,000 a month before he starts to lose tugboat money.

He's right, it would be hard for him to find a job, but he's making excuses for even making an attempt to do so despite there being state and federal programs to help people like him. It's easier for him to beg and rip people off on eBay than it is for him to try to find work.

 

Hell, he could just go to Goodwill if he doesn't want to put effort into his appearance. They'd throw him in the back room sorting donations so he's out of sight of the customers. Of course, he'd also probably be working with other "slow-in-the-minds" and we all know how that will go down.

At this point I can't tell if Chris is aware that such government programs exist or if he's ignoring them to fuel the victim narrative. His complete lack of interest in having/finding a job rules out the possibility that he's done research into said programs and Blorb gave up on him after Wendy's. I'm sure many people have enlightened him over the years, but Chris lacks the ability to retain information (if he was even paying attention in the first place).

 

Let's say that Chris somehow managed to get an interview. When the subject of his employment gaps comes up, instead of saying something false but believable like needing to take care of his elderly parents, he will immediately go into a barely coherent monologue about trolls, Sonichu, and autistic hating manajerks. Really, really, REALLY desperate times will have to come for him to groom himself for an interview to ensure such a slip doesn't happen.

 

Really I don't see Chris getting any interviews without going through vocational rehab and having a job coach tell him what to do. Even competent disabled people have problems getting jobs, no way would Chris get a job without outside help.

 

I had this mental immage of chris stealing donated clothes, toys and anything shiny to add to the hoard. barb would probably orgasim at the thought of chris working at Goodwill.

 

Chris should just be a carny at this point. It's the only job I can think of that would let him keep his freakish hair.
He'd have to travel, but they might give him a stool if he promises not to play with the prizes.

 

You mean might make a stool if he plays with the prizes.

 

we all gotta vent our disgust in some manner man. We all wish we could just sit Chris down and just have a conversation in the hopes of somehow penetrating that monumentally thick skull of his and getting him to grow up even just a little bit. Won't happen of course, but its proof that we're good people underneath it all.