Chris Predictions

Just after CLD, (Chris love day), to celebrate 35 years of life and 10 years since FUTURE MESSAGE, lets predict his life for the next 10 years.

2017: Chris does nothing
2018: See above
Every year after: See above

But TBH, I think due to his reckless spending the Financhu Crisis ends in Chris losing his house in the next 2 years and Barb finally dies in 2020-2023


Sorry if this page is a bit rude.

 

I think his metabolism is going to crash and he's going to pork up more than he is now.

When Barb finally goes tits up, he'll be sad, pester family, and eventually have some sort of breakdown due to the loss of any human physical contact.

 

Frankly I'm amazed he hasn't already.

And I'm actually betting this is the year that Blorb's health begins to decline. Chris, being the immature creature that he is, will scream and shout like the autistic he is for Cole to come back with ever increasing volume, which if Cole did respond then Chris would NEVER stop pestering him. Chris is always the victim, and he shouldn't have to take care of snorlax.

I'm not expecting her to die, just that the first hints of it will appear and chris will either freak out, ignore it completely, or start to treat his mother how he treats everyone; with utter disdain.

 

Borb will die and chris will have to take her to Lavender Town to have her buried like all the other pokemon.

Maybe there, he can start his real adventure with his "zappin to the extreme" buddy and son, sanichoo! Take on all the gyms and become true pokeman mustard!

 

The more Chris socialises offline, the less content there will be for us to observe and enjoy and its possible that Chris will disappear for the most part. If Barb does die, then I think Chris would make a return, but I think it would be temporary at best.

 

I expect lots of begging as the financhu crisis drags on but expect that they will be able to hold onto the house at least until Barb dies. Their house isn't that desirable and I expect that the Chandlers will find some program to stave off any foreclosure. When Barb dies though, Chris won't even pretend to work to keep the house and will probably try to stay at a friend or relatives place.

 

Will Cole have a big enough heart to help his half-sisbro after Mom dies? Remember, the problem is mostly with Barb, not Chris. Cole's not going to send Chris money or invite him to live with him, but maybe he has friends in the city who could help Chris get a job/caretaker.
Will Cole even attend Barb's funeral? He didn't go to Bob's but Bob wasn't his father and they weren't very close, but usually a son would go to support his widowed mother, but keep in mind he has issues with Barb.

 

That's my thought too. He'll try to live on his own in that house while complaining that he has too much work to do when in reality its just normal life for the rest of us employed people. He'll be content to live in squalor, letting the house rot around him like its the House of Usher and when the county finally is clued in and tells chris he has to bring it up to code, he won't have the money to do so and will have a white knight or family member set him up with a crappy low-rent apartment. The whole time Chris will scream about how he needs more money and refuse to work because he's a special snowflake.

I do see chris becoming out and being more sociable before Blorb's death, but chris has a very toxic attitude. He sees people being happy in life and wants it, but doesn't want to do the work to get it. Every place that he gets truly comfortable in becomes aware of how much of a problem he can be and ejects him.

In the end, Chris will end up a sad, fat welfare queen in a low-end apartment who can't have kids because he chemically castrated himself trying to grow boobs. He'll be bitter and angry from how 'unfair' life has treated him (when in reality its reap what you sow), and likely be well known to the local police for stalking and generally acting creepy. Should this trend continue, chris will end up in a mental hospital or jail, and beyond we launch into what-ifs.

What is certain is things will not get better for him unless he grows up, but chris seems to be forever the eternal manchild.

 

I am interested in how long it will take before Chris goes into menopause.

 

Alternatively he will e-beg and get enough money from trolls to live comfortably. That could be nice since he will probably be forced to make more sonichu issues to survive.

 

That's only a temporary solution, 3 or so weeks I'd bet. Eventually his friends and family will stop donating to him, because chris will assume he can just sponge off charity like its part of his tugboat because he's an entitled sponge. That leaves only the weens and trolls who think supporting him will give us more content when really it won't make a difference in his life. I don't think enough of us would donate to him. I might give a sympathy donation when barb dies, but that's it.

 

After the donations are over people will start paying him to make sonichu issues

 

The trolls have tried that, chris doesn't follow through unless he's fat, happy, and contented, or have someone yelling at him on the phone to do it. And after barb dies, chris will be able to claim an eternal case of STRESS, so... I doubt we'll see comic pages outside of a shitty one-shot picture of comic barb subsumed by the angel Tranny-chu in a glorious coronation.

 

I think Chris will just stop thinking altogether when Barb dies. Since he'll have nothing but his toys to talk to he'll just become a gibbering pile of goop in the corner.

 

I am guessing, as a worst case senario, that in the next three years Blob passes on and leaves Chris stuck with an unpayable mortgage, the house is forclosed upon and an eviction notice is served.

Chris is probably going to be faced with law enforcement removing him from the house due to his stubbornness and not have packed anything up to leave with.

Barring a white knight running interface and getting him a couple of hours to get something packed, what will probably happen is Chris being confronted by at least two officers (whom are not happy being there as evection enforcement is not something well liked by law enforcement). Chris being forceably removed from the property because he will not leave his comfortable squalor and then Chris having a melt down.

If chris happens to start flailing and being a "danger to himself and others" or God forbid he actualy strikes an officer then all bets are off on what happens next.

 

This is unconfirmed, but I've heard that Barb's in debt, like really bad debt. Barb's not making any money, and whatever she had from Bob had was likely pissed away from keeping chris out of jail and just general day-to-day living. Should this information be confirmed that she is in some serious debt, then when she passes that will get passed down to chris, ruining any credit he may have and knowing his inability to manage finances he'll be thricely screwed.

 

A relative can't inherit someones debt, at the worst the banks can make a claim on Barbs estate, but beyond that Chris isn't obligated to pay anything.

 

I think Barb had Chris co-sign some debt, which means he's totally on the line for it.

 

Yeah, anything Chris has his name to, he is responsible for.