The Emoji Movie (Yes It's Real)

I just had this vision of Facebook being flooded by insipid, unrelated 'motivational' quotes with images of the characters from this movie, much in the same way as Minion memes:

 

The only thing that could make this any stupider is if they have Rob Schneider as a carrot emoji.

 

I'm surprised anyone but Sony even entertained the thought. I know that WB and Paramount are in desperate need of a big franchise, but this has a really distinctly Sony feel. Sony exploits brand names.

 

i had end times visions and it was this whole entire movie

god hates the world

 

And to think, Sony pumped out a seven figure number on just the IP... combine that with the production and their own complete ineptitude and I see another movie that doesn't make its money back.

 

Not only is this not gonna make money back, they did axe a Popeye movie for this. The money they'll get back will be a few pennies. It won't be surprising if this make the Ghostbusters remake better in comparison.

 

Can we talk about how one of the characters is literally named "Poop Daddy"?

 

Well you see, Popeye is part of the "rural" demographic which is full of old people who will be dead soon, while Emojis are hip and new and with the kids and thus a very marketable demographic. Also I am the CEO of Sony Pictures and am currently trying to fail as hard as possible.

 

Also, to kind of play devil's advocate, I don't think Popeye is a cartoon that actual kids would even know, and I don't think it's a big enough nostalgia draw either. I don't think he's like the Loony Toons, who get a reboot TV show every couple of years. It saddens me to say that more kids know stupid emojis than classic cartoons. But that said, I think Sony missed an opportunity to reintroduce him to the new generations and turn him back into a franchise that would actually draw in people to more than one movie. Even though he's not a huge pop cultural icon, he's much more timeless than emojis. People would still watch a Popeye movie in 2030, they would most certainly not watch an emoji movie then. So maybe we just have to wait for a Popeye movie. Considering what Sony did with the Smurfs, I can wait forever.

 

I petition that this nightmare has to be on movie night, just so we can all go insane together

 

I have one issue with this - it looks like bits of brains are coming out of that emoji, but emojis don't have brains, along with the people who use them obsessively.

 

I think its just part of our modern world and dont have any problem with it but the media trouble around it is surely gonna make people wanna see it even more i dont even think that it looks bad or anything just bland and thats really all what those films people online rage about are just bland boring films that nobody should have noticed in the first place

 

I don't know why you're saying that; Sony pulled this shit off twice already with the Interview movie and the Ghostbusters remake. Both of them failed to earn their money back.

 

Guys, I hate to bring this back, but the Emoji has a new trailer.

It's exactly what we all thought it would be.
And yes, they put in the eggplant.
And yes, there's a romantic sub-plot in a movie about goddamn emojis.
And no, this is not a horrible dream. This is real. We have truly failed as a species.

 

Didn't a trailer already come out for this movie several months ago?

And wasn't it one of the most universally disliked trailers as well? Like, I'm talking nothing but negative comments?

 

I was honesty kinda hoping some movie execs quietly took this out back and shot it, considering I hadn't heard a damn thing about it for months... alas, movie execs are still idiots and they need a return on their investment. Those poop t-shirts aren't gonna buy themselves!

 

I mean, public opinion is already set on this
Universally hated trailer
Most critics predicting it's going to be the worst animated film of the last few years
It'll be a victory if this movie can muster past 50 million dollars in the U.S.