2/8/17 In an Effort To Gain Attention, Chris Autistically Screeches About Greene County Elementary

I remember now when The galpals found about Chris's porno craigslist ads and the notorious pic in Barb's underwear, someone commented that Chris had buttsex with someone in one of the showers, and Sarah said "that explains a lot".

 

Meh, I don't know, I had fun in high school, but I certainly wouldn't want to go back. (Except in a "if I could go back in time and change certain things I fucked up" kind of way) I wasn't one of the popular kids, but I wasn't one of the unpopular ones either.
But I don't think I peaked then, or that they were the "best years of my life". (Except maybe looks wise. I'm not fat, but I ain't never gonna be 110 again!)

But there's a difference between remembering the good times and seeing things through rose-colored glasses. Which is what Chris does. I also find it kinda messed up that he seems to obsess more about the loss of his gal pals than he does about his father's death. The people I'd want to see most from my youth aren't school friends, I'd choose my grandparents, hands down.

 

The dumb people are the ones who think pennies are worth throwing away, not the ones that pick up free money.
A rare case of Chris getting something right by accident.

Too bad the lesson didn't stick.

I remember many, many things back to the age of three and I'm 29. I'm nostalgic about plenty of things from 17 years ago, like discovering that there was an RPG genre of videogame I could use to skirt around my dad's ban on D&D.

Never went to highschool though. I was taken out of the education system after the 1st grade and my parents were so good at finding teaching methods that worked for me, it never occurred to them that I was special needs. Then people at my first job started asking if I had Asperger's and truth be told I'm still not sure. Psychiatry is expensive.

 

There are times when I do miss my mother, it's been just about a decade now since I lost her, lost a grandmother while I was in high school, loved going over to her house all the time.

I bet, someone told my mom I was "autistic-like" when I was 5 or 6, I don't think the term "Asperger's Syndrome" was commonly used at the time though it could've been that. I did go to high school anyway, the only achievement there was graduating at all, and barely got into college before dropping off anyway.

 

I'm not saying they would let him live with them (that is just ridiculous) but rather they could set him in a place of his own so he won't be stuck in the hoard but they don't have to live with him. I think the few acquaintances he has might be convinced to help him get his own cheap low-end place away from them when Barb dies.

 

Chris said he wouldn't be where he is today if not for public school? Where is Chris today??...unemployed on welfare, dressing like a woman and keeping sperm in his freezer... Public school really did him well!

 

She definitely crossed a line there. Given the gal-pals significance to him it was a pretty shitty thing to do. I bet she shat herself when Chris mentioned suicide over that back in the day.

About the "hired help" there was a precedent, at school I think. Some girl Bob paid to look after Chris. Bob didnt even bother to pay her personally and instructed Chris to give her the money...and the fucking moron didnt connect the dots until decades later.

 

This seems most likely, because Marvin has stated many times Chris can budget well enough to keep the lights on. Maybe family or a white knight when the time comes explain to chris you need to get X money saved by a date. When that date comes they will help him sign in a lease, if he can pay the bills he can adapt to rent (apparently blob charges him as is). He may have to part with some of his toy hoard due to space. But I can see him moving into a little hole in the wall wasting time away.

I do wonder, since we know Chris is an impulse shopper and collector how he will deal letting go of Blobs hoard, as as sad as it sounds is a big part of her (and his) daily life. We all want to save Grandpa's gold watch, for reasons that I don't need to explain but Blob has nothing of worth, and a lot of it.

There's nothing of value in the hoard but when Blob goes, it'll be all that's left of her. I wonder how bad Chris's hoarding is vs just being impulsive. I'm unaware if it's genetic if so, we already know he's got the short end of the gene stick.

In a happiest ending situation: Chris taking some of his toys, some vidya a few of his dresses and spending his time chomping down hungry man dinners tweeting nonsense from a dusty run down little studio apartment.

That's the happiest ending I can fathom.

 

People often complain that Chris liking something ruins their appreciation for it. I'm going to try to not let him ruin my love for Hungry Man. I swear the spicy fried chicken is just as good as KFC.

 

There's that, just hope he doesn't run out of space if he doesn't get any shelves in there!

 

Back when I was eating that stuff, the beer battered chicken was great.

 

I haven't tried it. Going shopping tomorrow so I'll look out for it!

 

It's so pathetic he still demands that they have to become his friends again, they weren't even his friends to begin with. This is classic CWC extortion at its finest..but its starting to get old..

As for Hungry Man meals, they're really high in fat..and are best done in the oven. I used to eat them from time to time. Be sure and throw them in the oven if you get em'

 

I never really drank orange Fanta but since discovering Chris I honestly can't bring myself to to even think about it now.

 

You're not missing much. Artificial orange is far from the best flavor.

 

I'm of the opinion that when Barb finally croaks Chris's ties to reality will be stretched to their breaking point. He doesn't seem to be able to deal with loss very well (or at all), and once the sympathy train has run out of steam and life goes on, he'll bury himself in the things that bring him comfort and not come out for a good long time.

Its not impossible that (in that situation) he'll do something insane that will put him behind bars or get him institutionalized. And I'm of the opinion that a little jail time would have forced Chris to grow up a little, which is why I was so let down by his Pepperspray assault just landing him a fine and house arrest. Prison guards wouldn't have put up with his inane shit.

However, given chris's luck and incredible ability to waddle away from the worst that life throws at him, I can see your prediction happening too. I do what life to get bitterly hard for him, but that's because I want to see him grow up. I don't see that happening living in a shitty apartment, existing on his tugboat where in about a month he'll be begging for money for more vidya and toys.

Eitherway, I pity whomever has the misfortune of being his neighbor. Doubly so if that person is a young woman.