Meta What's a pet peeve you have about "Newbies" to Christory

So when Christory started, the internet was a place for older nerds to talk about Star Trek and whine about Star Wars prequels, younger nerds to talk about Dragon Ball and whine about Sonic The Hedgehog games, and everyone else was just there for the porn.

Nowadays, Chris is so famous that even your Fox News loving grandpa saw him on Tucker Carlson.

But it seems like people knew to the phenomenon that is Chris-Chan can't help but to embarrass themselves; either they watch the first few episodes of the Geno documentary and assume Christian Weston Chandler circa 2007 is the same person as the Jesus Sonichu of today, not realizing that shouting "JULAY!" at a Chris-Chan Livestream is like saying "Will Smith? You mean the dude from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Love his rap songs!" upon hearing about the slap at the awards show.

Or they assume that Chris Chan is some innocent soul who has been unfairly bullied for being transgender or autistic, and obviously there's nothing else to it despite this being an on-going story that's 20 years old at this point.

So what are some habits of "Chris-Chan n00bs" (Do people still say n00bs? Fuck me I'm old) that just piss you off?

Personally for me it's when someone tries to say that Chris is trans and we MUST respect his pronouns or we're being transphobic. I don't think "Someone who believes she's literally Jesus Christ deserves to have their identity respected as much as someone who was assigned the wrong gender at birth!" is the Pro-LGBT talking point these fools believe it to be. Actual transpeople aware of who Chris is and what lead him to believe he is what he thinks he is would be horrified to be compared to Chris.

 

Literally anybody who still tries to troll Chris, or obsessively seeks his attention or acknowledgment in this day and age. Especially the idiots who white knight Chris in an effort to befriend him and gain access to him.

Like that dumbshit who mailed Chris a copy of Persona 5 Royal for the Switch, just so Chris would play it on a livestream. This moron actually spent over a month orbiting Chris by constantly replying to everything Chris posted on Twitter, and white knighting him at every possible opportunity, until Chris followed him and started consistently replying to him. He had liked an image post of pickles, so it was pretty obvious to everyone that this guy was a massive ween.

I don't know how it's early 2024, and you still have this parade of fucking imbeciles who don't realize that if you troll Chris, you aren't going to become the next Surfshack Tito. The people who follow Chris are just going to troll you instead, and you'll probably get doxxed by people like Kiwi Farms and the Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums too. It's stupid, it's embarrassing, and nothing about it is worth it nowadays. Not to mention Chris doesn't even have amusing reactions to things anymore like he used to in the classic era.

The number 1 golden rule in this day and age is do not interact with Chris.

 

The weens think they can bring '00s trolling back and be "the next Clyde Cash", but it's not happening. The "cultural climate" is different from '00s, and that lolcow's life is not the same.

 

Historically it's always been difficult to interact with Chris. Due to him existing in his own little world you'd have to have something he really wants or do something to attract his ire, and that's only if you can even get a hold of him. He blocks off most forms of communication to him, even his Twitter is set so that you can only reply if you pay tribute to Emperor Elon.... or if Chris follows you, and even if he didn't many of his accounts are monitored by watch dog groups who either phished the password from him or correctly guessed that it was "Sonichu" or something juvenile like that.

I don't know how I'd get a hold of Chris if my life depended on it outside of driving to his house.

Not that I want to interact with Chris, I'm just saying. I will admit, there is a small part of me that would love the chance to meet the man, the myth, the legend, but that's not a rational part of my mind, that's a purely emotional attachment that I recognize as unhealthy and am able to ignore. Unlike the weens who as you said, think that it's possible to become the next Surfshack Tito or Liquid Chris if they scream "JULAY!" into the void long enough.

I think we all crave some interaction with Chris out of either a weird sense of attachment (respect isn't the right word and I'm not sure what is) or obsession, but that's part of why we keep telling each other "DO NOT INTERACT!" and go to such lengths to shame those who orbit.

 

I honestly hate it when a-logs and/or /pol/tards use Chris as THE example of groups they don't like as an excuse to insult or harass them (examples: Sonic fans, autistic people, and the LGBT).

 

I'm trans, autistic, and a Sonic fan, and trust me... NONE OF US are dying to accept Chris as "one of us!"

Actually I don't think anyone is outside of lolcows trying to be famous.

 

I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the Sonichu guy) covers album earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to autism-related charities because the dude is basically blackface for autism.​

- Rex (a musician)

 

Honestly, between Chris or the countless "Transtrenders" on Twitter who claim they're FTM despite being the most stereo typically feminine girly girls of all time, who oddly shy away from the whole thing the second someone asks "So when are you actually going to transition?"... I'm not sure which one pisses me off more.

I mean with Chris I can at least acknowledge that he legitimately has some kind of gender issue beyond simply wanting to be in on "current thing" wihtout understanding what said "current thing" is

Probably the transtrenders because they help enforce the idea that it's "Just some New Aged fad", I mean with Chris, it's established he doesn't know anything about anything.

 

The trolling culture of old Encyclopedia Dramatica and early 4chan was so different that it's hard to expect some teen today to be aware of it, but it's still painful to watch them make the same mistakes.

 

Yeah, I have to agree with this. Most of these people didn't really grow up with the early days of the internet and know its culture enough to learn from previous people's mistakes and avoiding them.

 

Not even bothering to go and learn about it after making those same mistakes, and then continuing to make them again and again is something I find difficult to forgive. Yet given my own history with being part of the old guard of the CWCki Forums as a teenager, I usually tend to be pretty forgiving with past internet stupidity, especially when the person did that shit when they were still a minor.

I think the CWCki page on weens summarizes perfectly why trolling Chris nowadays is a stupid idea that will have consequences, and why we haven't even seen any funny results from Chris trolling since Bob was still alive.

Surfshack Tito was one of the only members of the Miscreants who tried to continue trolling Chris after Bob died. He took a break for a few months to let Chris mourn his dad before resuming, but I heard he quickly gave up when he realized the Chris-Chan thing just wasn't the same anymore and wasn't outrageously hilarious like it used to be. From that point on I think he just became an observer and honestly, him and the other classic trolls who got older and matured deserve their privacy. I know he had inside knowledge on the GAMe PLACe vehicular assault incident, and while it's unconfirmed, he was probably paying close attention to the GameStop pepper spray incident too.

While Chris trolling had already long since gotten old and ran it's course by then, I think 2014 with the Sonic Boom protests and what happened at GameStop, and the aftermath of it in early 2015 was the last time Chris was funny. Long story short? I think Chris hasn't been funny in at least 9 years, when he did all that shit on his own accord, and we all just keep up with him still because we feel like we need to see how Christory finally ends.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it wasn't Bob's death that broke Chris, it was Simonla's.

 

That's exactly why we are still paying attention somewhat to him. It's kind of a sunken cost fallacy. I spent my entire late teens and early 20s invested in this guy and I am kind of curious how it ends.

 

Honestly I think it's a great study in both psychology and why you need to cut toxic people out of your life (I mean without decrying EVERYONE who disagrees with you as being toxic Ala Cancel Culture)

The amount of people genuinely friendly to Chris who he abandoned or attacked simply because they ran out of money to give him or even had different ideas about Sonichu Canon... is staggering.

Chris is proof that sinners in Hell cannot be redeemed no matter how catchy your musical is.

(Yes I made a Hazbin Hotel reference. I am scum I know)

 

Though Chris has a harder time cutting toxic people out of his life than the people who come into Chris's life and then realize he can't be helped or he is selfish and shitty as a friend is even more staggering. Many trolls often found him not fun to mess with anymore due to similar reasons especially those who tried to white knight him at the same time.

 

This is exactly what I tell a lot of these naive and appalled newcomers who act like Chris is some sort of completely blameless and innocent victim who didn't do anything to warrant his infamy and a lot of the things that blew up in his face. Not to at all suggest that there weren't plenty of times where the trolls took things too far or got outright sadistic, and on the contrary that A-Log and his like-minded cohorts weren't the ridiculous, exaggerating clowns that they were.

A lot of these newer people don't realize just how bad of a friend Chris was to the handful of people willing to consider him one or at least treat him like a friend, and how he would always be a creep and try to become "more than friends" with his female friends, and then would complain about being friend zoned like an incel every time it predictably wouldn't work. Chris didn't just feed his trolls either. He housed them, gave them health insurance, and gave them pensions.

Long story short, I think many of these newcomers tend to forget that this was true even during the classic era and the early to mid 2010s, back when Chris was just an incredibly amusing and mostly harmless buffoon who for the most part at worst was just unlikable and mean spirited, before he crossed the point of being an irredeemably gross and disturbing sex criminal after that certain incident in the summer of 2021.

 

I also think that newcomers tend to forget that most of the funny stuff that he said was after hours and hours of boring conversation. A lot of former trolls including Marvin who I share mutual friends with said that Chris has a difficult time carrying on a conversation that isn't of interest to him and it can be pretty boring until he eventually spouts a weird Cwckism or that he shits himself or something like that, but it usually took them a long time of listening to him ramble to get to that point.

 

I dunno, I feel like a lot of the funniest things were what Chris did on his own...

Like when he bragged about shitting himself almost immediately after getting into an IRC channel with Clyde Cash

 

Oh yes, I agree, which is why if you try to carry on a conversation with Chris you will be disappointed that you have to listen to a bunch of autistic rambling to even get a chance to hear something funny, but even then it usually pales in comparison to stuff Chris does on his own.