Least favorite Chris moment

and wearing eye patches and petting a floofy white cat

 

Do not underestimate the extent to which Chris sees the world as a cartoon

 

That freak was not good to cats.

Especially during that house fire -- and if it happened, that time he got a neighbor's cat put down.

 

I like to imagine that Chris, especially back then, probably saw life as a three-dimensional Saturday morning cartoon, but with slight elements of realism that just make it more jarring to anybody else. Like obviously all these maniacal trolls can't screw with Chris and get up to all their supervillainy on an empty stomach, right? So I don't doubt that he probably imagined Jason Howell stepping out of his troll lair and heading to the grocery store or McDonald's in a full budget Big Boss cosplay, talking to the cashiers and placing his orders in some goofy David Hayter impression.

The funny part is that wouldn't have even been the most farfetched thing Chris believed back in that era in his mid to late 20s. I bet you he imagined similar everyday lives for his other trolls that were more involved than Jason was too.

 

Really, the only thing about this that seems farfetched is the idea that Chris actually knows anything about Metal Gear.

 

He does, actually. He's referenced Metal Gear Solid multiple times before, without troll influence. Pretty sure he's played MGS 1-3 before, and possibly also 4.

 

when Bob was 60-70 (1987-97) he seemed to try to educate Chris about things, so I'm sure he at least made an attempt to tell Chris that works of fiction weren't real in reality
which also means when Chris was reading Goosebumps in high school, did he really think kids were going through the scary moments in the books?

 

If all fiction -- "published or unpublished" -- were real, it'd more or less cancel itself out.

For example, a fiction where a time traveler prevents Big Bang from happening somehow, without paradox because future was changed Back to the Future style, so no characters can appear later?

 

IDK if his belief in multiple dimensions has something to do with it - for example, these characters can't exist together in one dimension, but they can exist in separate dimensions

so I guess he thinks Pokémon and people really do interact in some dimension

 

What about a fiction where some "interdimensional" tomfoolery happens and stops all "dimensions" from forming?

 

I guess that's why when people like Tolkien, Gene Roddenberry, and George Lucas come up with imaginative worlds that are comprehensible to the average person, they're seen as geniuses and visionaries
when someone like Chris comes up with a confusing muddle of a fictional world (or fictional dimensions), it sounds like the babblings of a crazy person

 

Either way, the idea that "all fiction is real in other dimension" is "exceptional".

 

If DSP could eventually get through them. Chris can.. I legitimately believe Chris has more self awareness, empathy, and intellect than DarkSydePhail

 

I feel like that comparison is giving Chris way too much credit. As far as unoriginality goes, George Lucas at least made his characters actually distinct from other works, where Chris just makes a bunch of copyright infringing Sonic recolors that also ripoff Pokemon at least, before we even get into "characters" like Darkbind (whose a ripoff of Link and Darkwing Duck, in addition to being a Sonic and Pikachu ripoff).
I think the closest we've ever gotten to anyone going the Chris Chan route is Ken Penders, TBH.

 

if you're going to worldbuild, you need a lot of fuel for the imagination
as mentioned above - Tolkien was one of the world's greatest experts of European medieval literature and a great philologist, and he used his academic knowledge to make conlangs (he was obsessed with making conlangs and called it "the secret vice") and write the LOTR trilogy

IIRC George Lucas was fascinated by Joseph Campbell's works and popular sci fi pulp fiction (also wow, he'll be 80 on May 14th)

CWC is like other creative lolcows, and just copies what they like from pop culture without knowing why it works and is popular, or in Chris's case, just combines stuff from pop culture and writes thinly veiled revenge fantasies

 

A big difference between Tolkien and Lucas, and "Chris Chan": they're not uncreative egotistical imbeciles.

 

The only thing fascinating about chris is the fact that someone came up with this and definitely believe that it was on par with literally anything else.

I mean shit at least Limbo of the Lost had good voice talent.

 

Oh yeah and at one point, that lolcow claimed that whenever some makes up a character or fiction, they're merely using "psychic powers" to tap into "another dimension", which would mean that he believes there's no such thing as real creativity. Could that be him subconsciously projecting his lack of creativity on others?

 

No this is yet again something he ripped off as it is a trope used in fiction. I can name two places he'd be exposed to it.

1. Archie Sonic The Hedgehog - In the one-off special "Sonic LIVE" We focus on a story in which Sonic, after being blasted by Robotnik's swatbots winds up in the real world.

Sonic winds up at a Sega convention where he learns that he is just a video game character and all his adventures were in a Sega Game Cartridge. But instead of entering a state of depression similar to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story, we get the cop-out that the prototype for the Sega Genesis was accidentally a reality transport device and that the idea for the Sonic game came from images the device showed to concept artists.

This story was negatively received for various reasons. Such as the heavy implication that Sonic's comic and game are identical (lol no) No Sonic game elements appearing despite the game itself being a plotpoint (Robotnik even meets his game counterpart and... he also uses the SatAM design and is relegated to a background character)

But the biggest one? The credit for Sonic's creation going to some white guy ripping off what he saw in a prototype device that gave magic spoilers from a comic book created by other white guys (No one involved with Sonic's creation is asian despite him being a Japanese property)

The worst part? The story was by Ken Penders, a guy who can accurately be described as "What if Chris wrote for Sonic instead of playing Sonic?" and infamously believes he created Knuckles due to him literally knowing nothing about the Sonic games (a point he admitted many times in interviews.. he was ironically hired to ensure accuracy between the games and comics, which explains why the comics are nothing like the games and wouldn't be till they hired a Sonic Fanboy to replace him)

Meaning we don't know if "White people made Sonic!" Was because of racism or if he legitimately did not know that Sega was a Japanese company.

2. Another Archie Sonic example. Sonic has had a few crossovers with Sabrina The Teenage Witch (How many of you actually knew she was a side character from Archie and not made up for the live action Nick show? Cause I didn't before this)

These use the more straightforward "Sonic is real and the comics weren't based on video games but rather psychic visions from other worlds!"

In the first crossover Sabrina accidentally warps cartoon exclusive character Sally Acorn to the real world while reading her pet cat Salem's comic books. Only to get the attention of her series antagonist who warps Sonic to her dimension, reads his mind to learn the comic plot, and decides that Mobius Prime (the setting of the Archie Sonic book) is a font of untapped power she will look into while sending a brainwashed crazy Sonic to kill Sabrina.

The story ends with Sally Acorn finding Sabrina's villain and threatening to tell of the Sonic comic's villains about her, and how they'd come beat her up (Said villains at this point do not include Robotnik as he's been killed off for real.. no really Ken thought Eggman and Robotnik were separate characters instead of different names for the same guy so one is killed off in the Endgame event and replaced by the other 20 something issues later) (Bonus: Ken actually tried to claim Avengers Endgame was inspired by his Endgame story where he kills off Robotnik)

It is worth noting that this storyline is started by Sabrina wanting to read Salem's Thor comics due to a crush she has on the real Thor whom she just recently met, only for Salem to have told her that he traded them for the "vastly superior" Sonic comics. (To be fair Archie Sonic is worth more than Marvel Thor nowadays considering the former can't be reprinted)

This story was not written by Penders

There is a sequel to this story That was... and oh boy...

In it Sabrina is buying Sonic comic books for Salem when she is stopped by a boy who says she can't like comics because she is a girl and girls aren't into "cool things like comic books" because they only like "clothes and make-up"

You think this is a setup for an Anti-Sexism plot but no... Sabrina just confirms his suspicions by saying that she doesn't read comics and is just buying them for a friend, but confesses that she does grab a Knuckles The Echidna comic for herself (Knuckles had his own spinoff comic at this point) citing the fact that she thinks Knuckles is cute for the reason. (We get her blushing and swooning over him btw.. thanks Ken! No this isn't the only example of Ken being blatantly misogynistic, just look at the Sally mini-series. Spoiler alert: It has nothing to do with Sally and is instead about a skunk way older than her who wants to sleep with her)

Due to shenanigans Sabrina accidentally warps Sonic and Knuckles to the real world, saving them from Overlanders (The race Archie Robotnik belongs to) in the process and has to pretend they are kids she is babysitting at Archie's costume party...

Not much to say about this one as there isn't much of a story, but there is a scene where Sonic and Knuckles are grossed out at the concept of fried chicken (But.. you have meat based food on Mobius.. Sonic eats chili dogs remember) and the highlight of the book, where Sonic and Knuckles try to kill Jughead because they mistake him for Robotnik (even though at this point in the book Robotnik is dead and Eggman is the main threat. Cmon Ken... you were the one who wrote that, how did you forget?)

And finally

3. In an early episode of the 2000s Justice League cartoon, Green Lantern is a big fan of a cheesy comic book that is a blatant parody of Golden Age DC, and lo and behold he and the rest of the League find another world that's just like it.... the excuse for how this is possible? Martian Manhunter tells him the comic was based off of psychic visions of things that happened for realities.

This episode is pretty good and has a priceless scene where Hawk Girl has to pretend to be an incompetent housewife who lets the male super heroes handle everything so the league can fit in with the world better. And so has to sit out the action to bake cookies with the Catwoman stand in. A scene Chris may not have understood for what it was, a joke poking fun at how Wonder Woman wasn't allowed to join the Justice Society as anything more than a mere receptionist back in the DC Golden Age.

Another noteworthy thing Chris didn't get about the episode? The twist is these characters died ages ago during a nuclear bombing and one kid has merely been using the powers he gained from surviving to keep the world in a stable timeloop of "before" because he couldn't let go of the heroes he looked up to... something the heroes knew but weren't allowed to say, they are immensely grateful when they are finally allowed to pass on.

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Now I'm not saying Chris saw or knows about these examples, but it is the most likely culprit for why he thinks creativity doesn't exist... Even though in the Sonichu comic Bionic is canonically a tulpa that Chris gave life to by imagining. (Oh Chris.. you can't even keep things you made up yourself straight)