Ideas that Desperate Companies can Dredge for Attempted Cash Grabs

Well you know they're gonna remake it in-name-only but with Furbies.

Although A Tickle-Me Elmo horror would suffice.

 

Expect a modern day Casablanca, but it takes place in Syria.

Expect the following movies remade:
The Godfather
Citizen Kane
Gone with the Wind
Titanic
On the Waterfront
It's a Wonderful Life
Every single Disney animated movie, but it's live action now.
Every single Disney live action movie, but it's animated now.

Expect at least 3 more Transformers movies, they'll possibly go up to ten.

Expect the following sequels
Frozen 2: The Thawing.
The Revenant 2: The Origin of Hugh Gass
[Untitled Marvel Progect] 25: The Evils of Money
Avatar ummmm, this is 6 right?: Our society is still better because we like our earth.
Toy Story 4: Pixar's Net Worth.
National Treasure 5(?)

Expect another Simpsons movie when the show is over.

Now for the Oscarbait titles:
Aleppo
Hillary
Another Steve Jobs movie
Mary Tyler Morre
Call Me Caitlyn
The National Parks
Trayvon

 

Not "It's Time To Stop?"

 

I was conflicted between that and "What's in the pocketoli?" so I just went with generic action movie lines.

 

A Kiwi Farms movie.

Think about it, tumblrinas and SJWs would go just to make themselves angry, protest the movie, probably shoot up the theater and so on. Not only that, but these kinds of people would be like free marketing, they do crazy shit because they hate the movie, the news would get involved, parents would also hate this movie based on instinct and not allow their children to watch it until their 45, making it bigger and more thrilling.

Not only that, but alot of Kiwis could come together for a IRL movie night, atleast the Kiwis that are friends with other Kiwis.

It'd be an action movie too, threats of shut downs, doxxing, they'd probably ruin Null's character to make him look like the evil bad guy though.

I put way too much thought into this I don't know if I'm sorry or not.

 

I wouldn't mind that as long as he's a full blown KKK nazi

 

CWC Documentary: The Movie

Now with uncut footage of someone deleting Chris' Pokemon GO app to waste your time!

 

Donkey Kong: The Movie

 

There's a CGI series based on the SNES/N64 DK games awhile back, but I guess you mean the original arcade game?

 

Oh wow, they're retarded enough to give that limp dicked pseudo-comedy guy another shot. With an iconic romance movie. Already predicting it'll go the way of the Ben Hur remake...

I guess Hollywood is in that last gasp phase considering they remade Ben Hur and are considering doing this. You know despite how they cook the books on purpose to pretend they're struggling to evade taxes.

 

Another movie in which Clark Duke is inexplicably the object of lust for women rather than the reality he's a fucking nerd.

 

I keep having a nightmare that they'll remake Dr. Strangelove with Benedict Cumberbatch as all of Peter Sellers' characters but they'll try to sell the titular character as some kind of male heartthrob, and instead of a bomb montage at the end it will just be the full cast doing the Harlem Shake.

 

I have nothing against remakes, but I think it should be reserved for interesting premises that didn't work out the best possible way the first time, or good ideas that were made in a medium that now makes seem dated or that otherwise haven't aged that well. Maybe even for smaller franchises that had a potential that wasn't fully exploted at it's time. Of course, this doesn't guarantee you'll have good results, but at least it makes sense trying.
But remaking movies that are considered masterpieces of the genre hits me as completely uncalled for, insulting to the originals and a more obvious than ever cashgrab. Besides the fact that they'll be always fall short compared to the originals. This goes both for live-action movies as well as for animated ones, as I have pointed out in the Disney Canon thread.

 

I don't know why studios would go out of their way to remake shit movies instead of going off of brand names people remember. Even if you did take the general premise and do something new with it, it wouldn't be a remake at that point.

 

Oh, I didn't mean movies that are absolute shit. I just mean movies (or series or whatever) that had certain problems and could use some revisiting. I'm sure there have been examples of this in the past, some with better results than others, but I'm too lazy to list some of them right now. Besides, "brand names people remember" can be perfectly guilty of such problems too. Don't take me wrong here, I still think it's kinda lazy and can come out as desperate if it's done over and over. But when it gets really pathetic to me is when they try to grab productions that historically have been met with nothing but praise and held as true role models of what a film should be, an think they'll make a version that's better, more contemporary or more relevant to today's issues.

To be honest, that's what many remakes and reboots seem to be these days.

 

The best example of remakes like that are John Carpenter's The Thing and David Cronenberg's the Fly. Both took B-movies and added to them in their own grisly ways. So kind of like what Feig's going to do to Casablanca, only actually unwatchable.

 

I am wholeheartedly expecting a GamerGate movie in the coming years. It will be a hokey flick about how the "brave and noble" Anti-Gaters who fought to stop the evil gamergaters from harassing women to death. But it will either be a lifetime flick or a FUCK YOU IT'S JANUARY!!! Film. now matter what happens a GamerGate movie will be a shit show.

 

Considering how virtue signalling has proven to suck shit and fail, I expect it to also not make its money back... all while people still lie about how it did fine.

But yeah, that film will probably exist. I can also easily see a Pewds movie, if only because movie executives have no soul and are too damn stupid to not rely on a single hit to escape an imaginary hole.

 

Imagine the salt that movie would generate from stereotypical fedora'd gentlemen. And then the salt from people salty over said fedora salt.