Meta What If?

Then the ghost of his child self Christopher, the ghost of teen Chris, the ghost of classic era Chris, and the ghost of 2014-2015 era tomgirl Chris would relentlessly haunt all remaining ex trolls, all his past friends, associates, and enemies, and anybody who observed Chris in either of his heydays between 2007-2015.

Including all of us.

 

With "normal" ghosts, it's said that salt is ghost repel.

With any ghost of "Chris Chan", soap should do the trick.

 

Are we sure soap would even work on Chris Chan?

 

No. You'd need a pressure washer to go with that. And a ton of soap and something to scrub away all the layers of grime.

 

What if Chris was a MAGA, a supporter of Pmurt.

Actually, to be honest, if he wasn't pretending to be trans.I think he would be...

 

The damn, dirty Mexicans are taking all the boyfriend free girls. And the damn, dirty Left will face a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha for supporting da homos!
-MAGA Chris, circa 2016 to today.

 

I doubt that*, though even if he really "went tomgirl", he doesn't put much effort into that.

* Gender dysphoria - CWCki (tl;dr: he shows clear signs of disliking being male)

Either way, alternate timeline him would show that lack of intelligence has no political affiliation ...

Anyway, what if he somehow gave up on being a lolcow after vid when he claimed it was all a ruse cruise?

 

What if Chris was into Digimon

 

"Sonimon"

 

What if everytime Chris-Chan took a piss, Wooly from Amanda The Adventurer materialized out of nowhere and cheered him on for the duration of the urination?

 

What if Chris changed his mind about the HEX-BAWX much earlier if he just played Blinx the Time Sweeper? I mean, hell, Blinx was even created by Sonic the Hedgehog's real creator.

Spoiler

Naoto Oshima, not that insider trading dirtbag Yuji Naka.

 

He probably would have shoehorned Blinx into Sonichu somehow, and then created an obvious knockoff of him to use as a throwaway character for a "skitch", like what Sammy was to Peter Griffin.

 

I can picture it already: Banks Sonichu

 

So a close friend of mine has been dead for five years and I miss him dearly.

Lasterday night I dreamed he didn't die but was actually kidnapped by Chris Chan. Who faked my friend's death to cover his tracks.

What if the dream was a cry for help and my friend really has been captured by Chris?

 

The first time I had a lucid dream, for some reason I immediately thought "whats something you're not supposed to do in a lucid dream?" and thought "oh I gotta look in a mirror!" and I did and nothing was there, I had no reflection, so then I thought "haha what if chris-chan was there, that would be funny" so I made it happen and then it wasn't funny it was just disturbing and made me feel gross.

 

I strongly agree with this, I've always thought this for years actually. Like, if there was never any Tomgirl Saga.

Here's how I think Chris's political views may have evolved, had classic Chris stuck around flr the long haul.

Spoiler: Speculation on the what if

I think that if classic Chris never went away, and merely got older and more worn down, Chris in his mid to late 30s would have gone full MAGA. He probably would've remained that way in his 40s too. Bob and Barb were both staunch Republicans in their heydays and two deeply conservative older parents. As scattered, juvenile, and basic as Chris's political views have always been, the few somewhat coherent ones he had in the classic era were very basic cookie cutter conservative type of things for the most part, which were almost assuredly things he learned from Bob in his teen years and early adult years in the late 90s and the early 2000s.

The only two real notable exceptions is that Chris liked and relied on welfare and disability, something he shared with Bob, which are generally unpopular among most Republicans, and Chris was shockingly very anti gun and wanted them all banned, although he often went back on that and sometimes made threatening statements about people involving guns, from Michael Snyder to Liquid Chris, or in more sane moments said they shouldn't all be banned. That occasional shift could've been influenced a lot by Bob and Barb having both previously been longtime gun owners, and Bob having been a hunter when he was younger I think. Chris seemed to admire George W. Bush a lot during the earlier part of the classic era when he was still president too.

Bob and Barb were both definitely proto MAGA type of people. The only reason Bob never became MAGA is because he died 4 years before Donald Trump became relevant in politics. Bob was an ardent Republican for much of his adult life, though, and we can easily infer this from how Cole Smithey once derisively called him a "Republican cur".

In an alternate timeline where classic Chris never faded away with the classic era, and he merely became older and more bitter but otherwise remained mostly the same, it's all too easy to imagine classic style Chris in his usual clown shirts and other iconic outfits sporting a MAGA hat whenever he's discussing social issues, or when he's dealing with trolls and detractors that portray themselves as minorities, or that are critical of Trump. Trolls definitely would have used whatever hot button issue of the month got MAGA stirred up to troll Chris in the past 8 years had things gone this way.

I also definitely could've seen Chris having a meltdown over covid lockdowns in 2020 and going into full covid denialist mode too, likely recording videos ranting about it. MAGA Chris's politics and whatever issues offended him easily would've been a very easy button for trolls to push.

Honestly, I don't think Chris's shift away from the mostly right wing political beliefs of his parents had anything to do with him learning any new information that changed his views, or having any experiences that changed his mind on things, like how a dramatic shift in political views happens with most people. Knowing Chris and how he's always worked, he probably started to figure out that Bob Chandler's old fashioned conservative views were unpopular with most young women, and thought that he'd be more likely to find a girlfriend and get laid if he presented himself differently. Chris isn't the kind of person who usually changes his beliefs, unless he thinks he'll get something in return for it.

 

I completely agree with this, there is no way in Hell that Classic Chris wouldn't be MAGA. I could see him going full TERF too.

 

What if the lolcow was "given the birth" 20 years later, making him 23 now?

 

No politics and no passive-aggressive responses to other people.

Knock it off.

 

Sucks you had to go through that.

Also, if he learned how to induce lucid dreaming, he'd probably get even more delusional thinking he's "in another dimension" or something.