Twitter Pregnancy Speculation

I don't even know if it'd be a good idea to make a separate thread because this is just Chris saying shit but there's a possibility Chris is actually having the possibility of getting a child.

https://x.com/KiwiFarmsDotNet/status/1860765810395840564

In the event this is all true, Chris managed to get laid compared to thousands of incel manchildren that would bitch about women being stacies and shit.

 

Poor possible kid.

And any lady who gets laid with "Chris Chan" may have serious issues.

 

I refuse to believe any of that is True and Honest. Chris is not a reliable narrator.

 

On KF there's speculation it's pretend BS. Like that imaginary "polyamorous marriage" with Sonic-y characters.

I figured the odds of incels and that lolcow getting laid are very low, but not zero. In this case, if it really happened, the lolcow defied the odds and met one of the very few women on this planet who may be attracted to him, after committing incest of all things. Seeing how he took "care" of the cats and dogs and how fanatically egotistical he is, him having a kid is no good...

 

i like imagining the mother of some NEET loser telling him that if even chris chan can knock a girl up, then he has no excuse to not give her a grandchild

 

Chris was answering someone's question about when he'd announce it if he had a baby and they heard his incoherent mumbling "somewhere" as "summer".

So don't worry, girlfriend-free boys, there's still hope for you. The end is not nigh yet.

 

On one hand it's Chris, and I'm not sure Flutter's REALLY dating him or if it's just "for the lulz"

On the other, he's in the rare group that hit the jackpto. He has a 1 in every skill, except for luck, therefore he can never truly be punished for his actions and can only fail upwards.

 

Yep, this is a nothingburger if there ever was one.

For all we know if he announced this it means Mewtwo is pregnant with his child.

 

It's still like telling a NEET shut-in to "go win the lottery and move out" -- possible, yet unlikely.

Has he derped about that imaginary "marriage" lately?

 

True but on the other hand, someone hanging out with Chris willingly would make one wonder if Flutter is being yet another troll or an actual and unironic individual that would want to have sex with Chris.

A part of me would wish it was true of Chris getting sex and a kid as a lulzy way of accomplishing more than the likes of incels and adjacent tradtards that would go on about having kids and all that crap while having their own ridiculous demands of how they want their women to be.

 

Chris has had fantasies of having a daughter forever, that was the whole reason he froze his navy. It’s probably just him being delusional.

 

It was a dream he had while in elementary school that he took way too seriously.

 

Chris had laid the egg containing the lost son of Arceus, Mewchu, which will oversee the merge between our reality and C-197

Unfortunately this process is being interrupted by The Entity which has sent its minions, Amanda The Pig and Danny The Ghostface to delay the merge by re-electing Pmurt in order to feed off of the negative energy created by the deteroiation of the LGBT Rainbow which is in fact a physical spiritual thing that creates all of the energy that causes homosexuality and transexuality in those it chooses to be Embodiments of the Bifrost; beings who gain sacred powers though have their perceptions of sexuality and gender identity forever altered as a side-effect.

That's right it is a choice to be gay, a choice from God and Jesus and other deities that represent the bifrost. Those who best adapt to its power become bisexual, hence the term BIfrost.

"Ore Rosechu, you're speaking in complete nonsense. Nothing you are saying is funny, matches up with the world around you, or is in anyway accurate. You're just randomly screaming buzzwords you heard from world events and video games."

That's my point, Chris sees the world through a lens that combines fantasy with whatever bullshit terms he sorta/kinda/not-really understands.

What we need to wait for is confirmation from someone who isn't Chris, or if from Chris it needs to be backed up with a pregnancy test or medical paperwork. Never, ever take Chris at his word, well there is a caveat.

Unless it's absolutely embarrassing and paints him in a negative light. Then you should believe him because this is more than likely him just info-dumping without any kind of filter ala his autism.

If Chris tells you he shit himself, believe him.
If Chris tells you that he has gotten a job at Nintendo, press X to doubt.

 

So you're saying it's best to believe if it makes him look bad, and doubt if it makes him look good?

 

Relief for the nonexistent kid.

 

So he was just saying random shit then?
As I thought.

 

Correct. "What about when he says he banged his mom? He was treating that like a good thing."

This is the exception that proves the rule.

Chris is very likely to confess to something bad under the belief that it makes him look good.

One thing that's interesting about Chris is that comparisons between him and many unpopular figures in society are apt. Because Chris is what a privileged billionaire looks like, without the billions of dollars.

A narcissist who can do no wrong that has followers simply because "He must be doing SOMETHING right!"

It's why Chris has a following and why any sociopath has a following. Both constantly say and do stupid shit, the kind of stuff that ends careers for the truly talented. Mere allegations that someone may have even made an obscene joke in the presence of a 17 year old is enough to get any Youtuber called a Groomer Sex Criminal and shunned forever, being forced to delete their account and leave the net forever. But Chris straight up spends time in the pen for fucking his mom, and he's a successful Youtuber with a platinum brick to prove it. Why? That's because Chris' followers are special.

It boils down to two groups.

People who don't really know Chris, but support him based on part of the story - SJWs and people influenced by them, who claim that Chris-Chan is merely an "Autistic Transgender Women who worked on a Sonic-themed webcomic" and that the allegations are just "people bullying an autistic woman for no reason", the fact that everything's been documented doesn't matter. Chris says it's all bullshit, therefore it must be and they don't have to hear it.

People who do know Chris, and want to encourage his worst traits for their own benefit - They know Chris fucked his mom, they know he stalked Megan, they know that he's only pretending to be Trans because he thinks it gets him chicks and out of consequences for his actions. (Seriously, look at how he brags about being part of the LGBT, like it's a secret club and they HAVE to do what you say because you're in it), and they know there's a damn good reason he shouldn't be at a convention. They don't care because a lot of the things Chris does is very funny to watch, and if you can get a handle on him he can be weirdly profitable by simply charging people tickets to see the freakshow.

If Chris reminds you of someone in an important place of power, that's because society is fucked and this is why sociopaths control everything. This is the secret to failing upward, fail so spectacularly that it's either useful to someone else, funny to watch, or hard to believe you did anything wrong.

And that's really how it is for almost any grifter

Spirit Science
People who don't know better - "Oh well Spirit Science is a successful YouTube channel, this Patchman fellow speaks softly enough. Maybe he does have this spiritual enlightenment thing. I should get in on that."

And if you debunk Spirit Science by pointing out that it's all bullshit and science doesn't work this way - "Ah, I see you're too unenlightened to get it, or maybe you're a deceiver trying to get me to follow the Left Hand path. Begone Psychic Vampire!"

People who do know better - "I have a grift based in bullshit and if Spirit Science can get people to believe in that bullshit, then the existence of this channel is useful to me."

Elon Musk
People who don't know better - "He's famous and the founder of a successful company, the dumber things he does are clearly just a game of 4D Chess I don't understand because I'm not smart enough to make trillions of dollars! Like Mega Genius Elon Musk"

Tell them he didn't really found Tesla, the money's from his Dad's Emerald mines, and that Tesla and Twitter both do worse the more he actually gets involved with either and - "You're just jealous of his success and jumping on a hate bandwagon!"

People who do know better - "Elon allows me to say racist shit to own the libs on a popular platform that once favored that very libs I wish to own, and makes transpeople less welcome online. I support your cause, now what other minorities can we repress."

-

So when Chris talks about shitting himself, he's being honest because he doesn't understand how that makes him look bad. When Elon Musk talks about how his daughter hates him, he thinks that makes transpeople look bad.

That's how these people operate, they admit bad things about themselves because they don't realize they're saying anything bad about themselves. It's an accidental admission of truth. Everything else they say is self-aggrandizing and demonstrably false.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Sorry if I came off as A-Loggy here, I don't hate Chris. I love Chris for all the stupid shit he does that makes me laugh, I merely don't respect Chris because no one could, and thankfully no one does. If he were in a position of authority over other people and his deranged ideas about the Dimensional Merge were being used to affect policy decisions that touch upon my day to day, I would hate him.

As it stands, he is a clown who stays in his own circus.

But what he isn't, is a father.

 

Still not as stupid as the whole ‘Chris escaped from jail’ thing.