Redesigning Eva: The Audiobook

Seeing as how the eleven-chapter novel fragment/Connor Bearble's life's work is well-known to our userbase, it seems like the perfect candidate for the first community audiobook. There are 11 "chapters" of his book, which can be found in all its cut-and-paste incredibly broken formatting here. Chapter signups will be first-come first-serve, and the only real requirement is that you have a decent enough audio setup that the recording doesn't sound incomprehensible. Store the files somewhere when you're done and shoot me a link, and I'll get them all compiled and prettified for a nice YouTube playlist. I have decent ability to edit audio, so don't sweat a mistake here and there- just stop for a few beats, then start the sentence or paragraph over.

As far as the style of your reading goes, just have fun with it

[updated 1/9/17]

Chapter 1, "The Dream" - Descent
Chapter 2, "Enter Eva" - OPEN
Chapter 3, "Class Without Class" - OPEN
Chapter 4, "Lunch" - Baphomet
Chapter 5, "A Family Man" - Weeb Shit
Chapter 6, "Down Into The Abyss" - Hellblazer
Chapter 7, "Klaus the Killer" - It's a secret
Chapter 8, "The Gift" - Mortal Wombat
Chapter 9, "Welcome to the Machine, My Girl" - Friend of Weeb Shit
Chapter 10, "Missing Pieces" - Dalhoxatron
Chapter 11, "The Night Digger" - Weeb Shit

 

That's an incredibly tough call since he edited out the part where a teacher masturbates to death. I think the jive-talking nurse in "Class Without Class" is priceless, though, so I'll give you that one.

I can think of no better reader for Connor's Hannibal Lecter rip-off in "Klaus The Killer."

 

Oh gosh, I'll be happy to do a chapter. You may pick whichever one for me.

 

I think your feminine perspective would be perfect for all the deep girl-girl conversation in "Lunch."

 

Heh, I'm down for a chapter, I'm not sure which one yet though since it's been ages since I last read the story.

God, I can't get over how dumb and racist the serial killer's alias is, "The Night Digger."

 

"Missing Pieces" because it's basically the story of a high schooler jacking it and you're not far removed from those days.

"The Gift" because the idea of you reading in first person as Connor amuses me.

I'm honestly surprised that he didn't just steal the name from some well-known crime novel.

 

I think I'd like to take "Welcome to the Machine, My Girl". It's plenty pretentious enough yet being the Connor brand of bad at the same time. Something else that I wouldn't mind doing is making annotations for the videos that get uploaded so that it'll at least be funnier to get through the cringey writing.

That said, I can't remember the chapter that originally had a teacher masturbating to death although I can also more than likely find more material that Connor's written related to Eva beyond the initial 11 chapters he's posted.

 

If you could find the original version of that chapter or any other 'lost' drafts and bonus material that would be fantastic. Annotations would be great, as well.

 

Through mobile, I have absolutely no idea. You'd need to research that one or hope that someone else here knows how to manage that. I'll put you in for the last chapter for now, and just let me know if you don't find a way to make it work.

The question marks are there because of broken formatting. He just copy-pasted his story from whatever program he wrote it with into the forum text box, and it filled in question marks for everything that it doesn't recognize. For the most part they're just indentations and whatnot and can just be ignored.

 

Go ahead and take chapter two.

If you want to prettify the audio, I wouldn't complain. Work is hard and I avoid it like I'm part of an internet moderator labor union.