Meta Random Thoughts and Questions

There is this community online that is essentially pro-ana for schizophrenics known as the "Gangstalking" or "Targeted Individual" communities where people who all believe they are being stalked by various entities and groups of people come together and talk about being harrassed and constantly surveilled and essentially feed into their delusions and usually pull themselves deeper and deeper into psychosis and gets really angry at anyone getting psychiatric help thinking psychiatrists are their enemies and therapy is a trap.

I mention this because I truly think that Chris is probably one of the only genuine cases of someone being gangstalked recorded and with evidence. Most cases of gangstalking according to many studies done in this phenomenon often point to stalking being done by an organized group to be so rare that it is almost nonexistent except for a delusion.

 

Yeah I think about that a lot. Chris' existence is kind of existentially horrifying, it's like if you found out the Truman Show is real.
But at the same time, I don't think it could ever happen again. It was lightning in a bottle while the internet was still forming.

 

I do wonder if the mentally ill people involved in those communities ever hear about Chris if they would use him as proof that gangstalking is real and they aren’t delusional.

 

Well, you can easily consider it counter-evidence. If you're really being gangstalked then where's your wiki and animated series? When was the last time Oneyplays mentioned you?

 

Is it still somehow remotely possible that that lolcow is still a "virgin with rage"? Of course in order for that to be true, he'd have to lie about the hooker and lie about doing Barb. Also, while he does lie a lot, I think it may be a stretch that he's lying about doing the hooker and raping his elderly mom (especially since he was in the "Jail of Fail" for the latter for long).

 

As someone who used to be crazy but got therapy.. I can see Chris sort of believes his own bullshit but sort of not.

When he's happy he believes it fully, when he's sad he likely doubts and begs the universe for proof which won't come but if he's "lucky" he will see a sign that proves him right. Something small and subtle that only has meaning to him.

 

Would he have been in the Jail of Fail for so long if there wasn't any physical evidence found?

 

Chris was apparently in no great rush to get out of jail—not like there was anywhere else to go.

 

I expected Chris to enjoy jail more than he did.
He reminds me of that old Onion video where an autistic reporter interviews an inmate, and after hearing how structured and repetitive jail is, immediately finds someone to murder. [1]

 

Since there's ever-shifting views as to what is "real art" (photography was once considered "not real art" when it was invented), I came up with a less subjective criteria for "real art". The more criteria are met, the more "real art" a work is (although of course it is best not to overthink it). And like I said, the criteria can still be subjective to a degree, though maybe less.

⬤ skillfully done
⬤ looks beautiful
⬤ thing is "deep"

And as a bonus, if at least one of above:

⬤ art is original

So by even these criteria which are meant to be as objective as possible and apply to changing times, "Sonichu" isn't "real art" still. Those comics are drawn with a skill on par with that of a toddler, they're hideous to read and look at (and not just visually so), it's rather shallow and doesn't quite challenge the mind, and of course there's not exactly that much originality...

 

I feel like art has to be intentional. There has to be intended meaning behind it, some kind of message.

Sonichu was Chris' unloved bastard child. It was masturbatory material for his ego, he didn't even want a comic book, he wanted a television show. The comic was nothing more than a prototype, a script for said show, a mere example of what he wanted, not what he wanted in and of itself. He didn't really like his comic. Hell, he kind of hated working on it. I'm honestly shocked he bothered making it at all - why not just leave it as a rough description and wait for someone else to come along and make it for him, just like the supposed Sonichu games he wanted to make?

 

To me that could fall under the "thing is 'deep'" criteria.

Anyway, yep that jerk wanted some idiotic Saturday morning cartoon, where he would use his insufferable voice to voice both "Sonichu" and that evil self-insert (and also they would probably sound the same). Would "Honor Roll" try to slip in uncensored hideous "yiffing" into that cartoon and traumatize kids across the country if "Sonichu" were a show? It's not an impossible then, given how bloated his ego is and how "special" he is too.

 

To be honest, with how you had the fake gal-pals and all from trolls such as posing as Nintendo, I can imagine that'd be the only reason Chris would bother with the comic. That and proving them all wrong that Chris wasn't a DAMN DIRTY HOMO.

 

Ironically for someone whose greatest victimizers were labeled the Idea Guys, Chris was an idea guy par excellence.

 

It's ironic as he "went tomgirl" later. And it would be even more ironic if it turns out he's homosexual too.

 

I'm pretty certain Chris is somewhat asexual, leaning on straight. His entire outlook on sex from the classic days to now have all been focused on fitting in. Chris is obsessed with fitting in and being accepted, it's why he was so bothered by having autism despite how much he loved to use it as a crutch.
He mostly just hated gays and looking at dicks because he thought being gay was the wrong thing to do and there would be repercussions for so much as thinking about it. Now that the world around him finds it socially acceptable, he's largely stopped caring about gays, although you can tell he's still obsessed with women and doesn't have any interest in men, despite how much he pretends to in order to fit in. Actually, it's easy for him to not care about pretending to be gay, since like I said, I'm pretty sure he's actually asexual to an extent. He doesn't really have a raw, baseline instinctual sexuality, it can be anything he wants it to be, which is anything the people around him want it to be. The funny thing is, he knows this. He doesn't realize it's different from how other people work, but he is aware of it. He's literally said in the past he was afraid of gays because he was afraid of them turing him gay - not because he was closeted, but because he's aware that his sexuality can indeed just turn on a dime like that, because he doesn't actually feel much of a connection to sex. But he knows sex is a big deal in society, and he wants to fit in and be like everyone else, so he has to make himself care about it.

 

It's also clear that Chris seems to have come up in such a way that women could be perceived nearly universally as kind, caring, and all the rest of it, whereas men were snips, snails, and beating ass and being uncouth.

It's why Mary Lee Walsh's actions landed with such force--that a woman was vociferously turning on Chris was doubly monstrous. Walsh--in that moment, to Chris--renounced her womanhood and her humanity. The same criticism as it is applied to women on death row, come to think of it.

 

I've been thinking about this for a while, and, after considering it, I don't think it's that deep. I don't think Chris holds women in an especially high regard insomuch as he rather holds men in a low regard. So, to him, revolving your personality around being sympathetic is something "normal" people do, and most men (not all) and some women (not none) deviate from this, and that's just a fact of life. He's not shocked whatsoever when a man acts kind or a woman acts maliciously, he understand it happens, he just has a knack for stereotyping genders, what with being autistic and all.

Also I'm just realizing now this took me so long to realize because it's probably one of Chris' most complex behaviors. I had to really grip the arms of my psychology chair to come to the conclusion that this was one of the few things Chris didn't completely see in black and white.
Thinking about it even more, I think Chris' statements of men being jerks and women being angels is one of the rare instances of him simply being hyperbolic and not projecting a simplistic autistic interpretation on the world. Sure fooled me!

 

If "Chris Chan" likes to LARP as Christ and "an avatar of all reality", then how does he explain his lack of intelligence?

I guess he probably still thinks he is absolutely brilliant and isn't aware of just how below average his intelligence is.

 

You have to realize Chris' brain doesn't work like ours, he isn't really capable of critical thought or questioning things. If something "sounds" right to him, then it is. And as long as nothing can seriously question that thought, then it may as well be fact. Additionally, Chris is really eager to identify with characters who have characteristics he admires. It's what leads to the perfect storm of his messiah complex. "This Jesus dude has magic powers and everyone loves him? Wow, I'd love to be him. What's that, he promises he'll return one day? Then maybe I am him! After all, I want all of those things!" Chris' brain isn't capable of criticizing thoughts like that - if it sounds good to him, then it is good, so it may as well be a fact. And it's not like you can disprove it. What are you going to do, bring in the actual Jesus to call him an impostor? He reminds me of El Gordito, a Wild Thornberrys character who believed he was anyone he saw on TV. I haven't seen that episode in like two decades but I distinctly remember the ending where you see him watching Nigel Thornberry on TV and then says to himself "Hello! I'm Nigel Thornberry!"
As for intelligence, it's not so much that he thinks he's intelligent as much as he doesn't know what intelligence is. You don't know what you don't know. Chris doesn't really have an understanding of cause and effect, so he doesn't really have a framework of exactly what kind of effort goes into learning a field of study - as far as he's aware, knowledge is like magic. "Smart people" like him don't go through rigorous trials of studying and experimenting, you simply have the magical ability to spout information just like a genie can magically conjure material out of thin air. It's why he tried to pass off him using translation software as him having knowledge of all languages. It was a magic trick, and knowledge is magic to him. His brain can't really perform critical thinking, so it basically was like him having the "magical ability" to know what people were saying in other languages.
Again, Chris literally has the mind of a 5 year old, you can't expect much.