I'm starting the official Uwe Boll fan club.

That's right, I said it. After watching five of his movies (Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, Postal, In the Name of the King, and Far Cry), I've finally come to realize that he really is the only genius in the whole fucking business. He's truly ahead of his time in the way he pisses off terminally online gamer losers with his adaptations of video games that nobody cares about to begin with. I've now truly seen the light.
He's the one man that could make unwatchable garbage such as Detective Pikachu, Warcraft, and all three Sonic movies into peak kino. Shame nobody else saw his genius, and he's now blacklisted by pussy game companies everywhere from making adaptations of their IPs that have no business being movies in the first place.
Rest assured, when he finally returns to big screen where he truly reigns supreme, I will be the first person to pay tickets to see his brilliance with a group of three people (consisting of me, @The Fool, and @c-no).
And of course, I must not forget to bring up his legendary boxing skills. Ever seen a pissed off German filmmaker beat the shit out of Lowtax? Well now's your chance:

Magnificent. Pure art in its finest.

 

Sorry I disagree

 

TBH, owtax isn't someone I'd see beating anyone but himself.

 

What no-name video game series that nobody cares about should Uwe Boll tackle next to make the gamer nerds rage and seethe?

 

that stupid fucking anime girl horse racing game because I fucking hate it

 

How about Fallout to fuck with Bethesda but also to piss off Fallout fans since at this point, I want to actually see the fan base sperg out further after seeing dumb ass hyperbole like this:

If I was back on the other site, I wouldn't mind sharing this shit and seeing this as one reason why CatParty would call video games "electronic toys." This shit also feels funny because I can remember one can wear any helmet with power armor in New Vegas and Fallout 3.

 

I'd personally would love to see Uwe Boll team up with MDickie to make a Hard Time movie, starring Mel Gibson as he continues his self-destruction into complete irrelevancy.
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT!

 

Gibson's crime for prison? Racism and anti-semitism and other "based" shit where the only ones to actually buy into his crap are actual anti-semites that want to think Jews rule the world. I'm saying this after some Youtube creator made a video saying Gibson was right but reading comments of course felt like it'd be people that would go on Jews could be actual parasites or some shit and that Gibson was right and everything was some conspiracy against him even though IIRC, he sexually harassed a cop and said some vile shit to a girlfriend or wife he had in how they'd like to get sexually assaulted by hard R's.

 

BTW, I think Capcom should give Uwe Boll full permission to make shot for shot remakes of the Jovovich Resident Evil movies, but with Alice replaced with a fat chick on the receiving end of funny fatty jokes. Might actually improve those movies.

I mean it.

Spoiler

DARE YOU ENTER UWE BOLL'S MAGICAL REALM?

 

Hey guys, did you know that Uwe Boll managed to get a video game based off of one of his movie? It's called 1968 Tunnel Rats, a first person shooter that makes Doom, Duke Nukem, Goldeneye, Quake, Half-Life and Halo all look like weak pathetic Reddit-tier jokes by comparison.

(Never mind the frame rate, that's just part of the game's atmosphere.)

 

I've been to Newfoundland.

But only an airport there.

Spoiler

(one of those thread tags)

 

Tara Reid is a wonderful actor. Very convincing as a scientist.

 

I just checked, its 20 dollars on steam with mostly negative reviews. I've wishlisted it in case it goes on sale because I hate myself.