Legal Jail of Fail

Why haven't we heard from Chris since August 31st roughly in order of probability:

Chris can’t communicate with the outside world
Chris is in a psych ward
Chris is in the hospital
Chris doesn’t have the resources to write any more letters
Chris has been ordered to stop writing letters as a part of the case being sealed
Chris’s lawyer is throwing out his letters
Chris is dead

Chris won’t communicate with the outside world
Chris is unmotivated to write letters and has embraced the rigid uniformity of life in jail
Chris is depressed, catatonic, or incapable of writing letters because of mental illness
Chris has no one to write letters to since Kengle left him
Chris has realized that there’s no point in writing letters
Chris is in a group home that restricts access to electronics
Chris has escaped from jail and is in hiding

Chris has been communicating with one or more private parties
Chris has simply asked people to not release his letters to the public and they have done so
One or more private parties are keeping the letters to themselves out of fear of being doxed or exposed for weenish scheming
Chris is in contact with people who have no interest in posting his letters online such as his therapist, members of his family, or even Barb

 

chris ate all the news from now until next year so sorry

 

lol it's like a Fermi paradox

 

There won't be any at this time of year. Chris has been stuffing his fat face on even more prison ramen than usual and has now plugged his arse with a solid accretion of his own poop. He will now hibernate until the Spring thaw.

 

Chris may actually be living healthier than ever before now.

There's basically no one Chris would be communicating with who wouldn't immediately show the world.

 

I mean, we have Christian Love Day in February to look forward to, right?

 

So chris crashed into slumber with Dirty Crapped Briefs.

 

It began with shit pants, and it ends with shit pants.

 

Yes, it is poetic, isn't it?

I am reminded of that one flash game "Don't shit your pants" the song that plays at the title screen always plays in my head whenever Chris does something stupid or someone says "He would shit himself and do nothing" like in the old "what if?" thread on the old Cwckiforums.

 

It’s like poetry, it rhymes, or however that George Lucas quote goes.

 

Out of everything he has to worry about right now, it's hard to believe that Chris is still hung up on some DVDs he gave Megan over a decade ago.

 

Can somebody here give a transcript for this? I've already had my fill of massive walls of text after reading Sonichu.

 

2006 Chris says to his 2022 self:
'So, let me get this straight. You are the future version of my 1218 Earth self-counterpart, and still God.
And you are a transwoman, thus putting my homophobia at a moot point?
I still can't get over how sexy and awesome you are... or rather, I will be, or something.'

Something something Chris and his ego.

'And Megan swindled and manipulated you out of all those purchases. And from late 2007 to 2021, nine people took advantage of you from the internet, pretending to be women interested in you.
Those MALES pretending to be women...
that baffles me, but still ticked off.
You're married with Magi-Chan and Mewtwo and Silvana and Cryzel, and I end up a single parent of two kids?
On one hand, by my return to 2010, I'll have dodged many bullets: on the other, my love life is self'.

No idea what that last part means. Pretty much all Future Self does is agree with past Chris, but clarifying that some of the trolls were women.

 

Looks like there's another large batch of Jail drawings as recent as 11/26 confirming he is still incarcerated at Central Virginia Regional Jail

 

Chris reflecting on the past involves thick rose colored glasses, untainted nostalgia, what little brain power he has left all filtered through that Teflon ego of his.

 

Since Chris is still in jail do you guys thing his case is going forward as a felony?

 

It would be sad if he didn't fuck his mom.

 

Especially since he doesn't have rec room privileges anymore