29/04/2017 - Speed Sewing Announcement

Chris tied his hair up for this one. It still looks like shit.

 

Spoiler: Preview of Chris's restoration process

 

Well, at least it's not a begging video.

Every time he pricks his finger when he sews he's going to run to Barb for her to kiss the boo boo.

I wonder what those YouTube videos were and how much mending had to be done. They were probably just a small tear, not a giant hole in an old shirt that should be tossed out.

 

I'm guessing the snot is no extra charge.

 

For your own sanity, please watch with the sound off.

 

I...I don't even know where to begin pointing out everything that's wrong with this video. Calling TAPESTRY NEEDLES pins, thinking he'll need 6 rolls of thread, the fabric squares looking like goddamn felt, THE BELIEF THAT HE CAN FIX THAT SNOT RAG OF A MANGLED SHIRT. I just can't even D:

There is no tailor in the world that could fix that shirt. It's more holes than shirt at this point. I imagine that's why he said "apparently too big of a project for a tailor to mend". He probably took it to a few places already. It would be like digging up the three year old corpse of a shark attack victim, taking the body to a hospital, and saying "hey, you can save them right?"

 

inb4 he fucks it up and blames it on stress.

 

Obligatory my little pony in the background.

 

Or autism, or blankness, or hippopotamus weights or dementia.

 

A professional cannot restore the shirt but Chris thinks (s)he can?

I didn't realise how damaged the shirt was (the torn sleeve). He should just buy another shirt, rip pieces of it and sew it onto the classic.

 

chris should not be allowed to use sharp objects.

 

Wait, why did Chris bother buying fabric squares if he's just gonna sew a hole that big without them?
Also seeing Chris near a sewing machine makes me nervous, but I'm pretty sure he sewed that MLP music note skirt thing, so he's probably fine. Hopefully he has some idea of what he's gotten into, the sewing machine doesn't eat and destroy what's left of the shirt, or he isn't stupid enough to buy a new shirt and pass it off as "the classic."

 

Has money changed hands yet for the shirt?

 

I think Chris once said he's overqualified for any job.

 

No, Chris is trying to repair the shirt so the original seller will pay, as if I heard correctly she's refusing to pay unless the shirt is repaired. Chris is also trying to sell it to the next highest bidder in case that doesn't work.

 

I sent a link of the video to a home economics teacher. First response; "What the hell is he doing?" Second responce; "That technique is going to give him multiple stab wounds."

 

Any object is sharper than Chris anyway.