My Inner Life

At least Sephiroth actually talks in his games

Yes. That is the only reason why Jenna was called a Mary Sue. Can't possibly think of any other reasons behind that.

Now you say this wasn't pulled from your head, but honesty, but if it came from your dreams, I think that counts as "pulled from your head".

Oh don't worry, it's really not that difficult. I'm sure you will have another lucid dream that could easily explain the details.

Spoiler alert: this didn't help.

I don't know, those negative reviews have certainly motivated you into writing this rant that could pass as a light novel.

Yeah, us mature folks have never lashed out like children over trivial matters such as, oh I don't know, negative reviews of something they wrote.

Excuse me, madame, but I believe that these reviews are just deliberately using hyperbole, and I think you might be taking their words a tad too literally.

Wait, what? "From the gecko"? Was Gex supposed to inform me of the weird and disgusting contents of your fanfic in-between his movie references and one liners?

 

I like that she doesn't understand that when someone says this fanfic hurts their brain reading it that, that was supposed to be a joke

 

Schoolteachers don't go on rants of epic proportions just because a student disagrees with them. They just give those students a failing grade to spite them.

Jenna, I'm starting to get concerned with the amount of times you've been repeating yourself. You're not suffering from an anger stroke now, are you?

I myself also find this ridiculous. Ridiculous that you felt the need to make a rant long enough to be a chapter in its own right, that is.

Next time, we're going into the actual fanfic itself. Consider these "author's notes" as some sort of warning sign before entering "the belly of the beast", so to speak.
And yes, it did took 3 separate mandatory posts to finish this rant, that's just how long it is.
(Can anyone here do a word count of these "author's notes" for me? I'm already reading the entirety of My Inner Life. I don't need to make myself more insane through that.)

 

I'm getting the hunch that the author there may be always unique, totally interesting, sometimes mysterious.

 

Yup, same here, also that she might not be originally from an English speaking country and while fluent, there are some little things here and there where it seems like it isn't her first language like the word "queer" it could also be that she was abusing a thesaurus

 

Her use of the word "queer" is the very essence of

 

PROLOGUE: THE BEGINNING OF SHIT

Oh dear God. This just made me think of what Jenna would have done if she had known about tulpas.

Who would have thought that the perfect man would be a guy that can't talk and only exists to serve as a video game stand-in avatar for players. I certainly haven't. Guess I'm not that shallow.

TL;DR version: Jenna was more or less the original r/waifuism user.

This is starting to make me think of Link's Awakening, except shit. Probably on account that she's sharing a dream related to The Legend of Zelda (sort of).
And that's the end of the prologue. Seriously, that was a lot shorter than the rant at the beginning. What the fuck, man?!

 

Like, I said, this kind of character with no personality is perfect for people like this to make into whoever they want. She is probably projecting her own ideas of an ideal man onto Link because she likes the idea of a sexy elf man pre-Orlando Bloom Legolas (because would you seriously expect someone like her to sit down and read Lord of the Rings?) and he is the closest she can get. She can literally make Link to be whatever she wants (which in this case as you will find out, a total himbo)

Also, don't you love how she mistakes love for lust?

 

(first time I heard that word)

So in other words, like CWC she thought mere sex is love?

 

CHAPTER 1, PART 1: HOW THE FUCK DOES TIME WORK?!

First paragraph of the story, and Jenna has already established herself as friends with royalty. Remember in Ocarina of Time where Link actually had to sneak into the back passage of Hyrule Castle just to meet Zelda. Or how an NPC tried to do the same thing only to be thrown out? Or how even though Talon had a milk delivery for the Royal family, he wasn't allowed to actually enter the castle itself, as implied by where we first meet him? I guess being a Mary Sue gives you benefits that other people can't have, like just casually entering a monarchy's castle and just befriending them with no problems whatsoever.

Oh shit! I think Jenna may have gotten herself a GANNON BAN there.

Okay, so while time was moving normally in the rest of the world, Hyrule itself had to fast forward to the future (THE MAGNIFICENT FAR OFF YEAR OF 2002) just because the Hero of Time had to be put into hibernation because he was too young to wield the Master Sword? Okay, that makes perfect sense.

Ignoring the fact that Ocarina of Time ended with Link returning to the past (guess even OoT's ending isn't canon in the land of Mary Sue-dom), this explanation of why they're adults feels needlessly confusing. Maybe the rest of the world should followed the same time flow as Hyrule, and it should have picked up to Hyrule rebuilding itself. But that would make sense.

Hopefully Jenna and Link aren't incredibly shallow and just decide that they have found their perfect soulmate just from looking at each other. Sure hope that doesn't happen.

 

It's like a bimbo, but a dude. A close synonym for this is a meat head.

Anyways, I always hate in fanfics and fiction in general when ordinary commoner people that are far from nobility are all buddy buddy with the king or queen or whatever.

I mean, seriously, have any of these people ever personally talked to the president or prime minister of their country? No? Then likely your character won't either unless they are higher up in nobility or politics.

 

I swear, whenever I read this story, I always think of that LadyALT chick writing this. You know, the one that had a crush on that one Spyro boss? This is on that same level.

 

For some reason that reminded me of how Zapp Brannigan has talked to Nixon (as a head in jar) in Futurama.

 

Except Zapp is a captain of a space fleet. That's enough leeway to give him a pass to talk to the president, unlike a simple merchant.

 

You'd be surprised what can be a waifu or husbando. I am reminded of that one dude that was in love with Skeletor's staff

 

skeletor says wat - YouTube

 

Can't remember the name of the guy, but I remember BlackbusterCritic before he stopped making Youtube videos made one about that guy.

 

CHAPTER 1, PART 2: JENNA MIGHT BE A BLOODTHIRSTY PSYCHOPATH

Since I would be repeating what I said last time, I will take this time to tell y'all that I read all of the canon characters' voice with the same tonality as this

What, you mean the same guards that won't even let a small dog near the premises of Hyrule Castle. That was actually said at one point in the game, FYI.

So just for clarification, I'm just going to assume that this Perrino guy was this soldier in the game:

Okay seriously, why is an ordinary merchant like Jenna getting special treatment from the Royal family. Does Jenna know how any of this actually works? Rhetorical question, BTW.

Dayum, Jenna! You seen awfully happy for killing some run of the mill bandits there. Also, Jenna knows how to use a bow. Don't ask why, it's just more Mary Sue shit.

Uh. Oh. Not even finished with the first chapter and I already know they begin to lust after each other in the span of a single chapter before getting engage. 'Cause you know, fuck actually getting to know each other, am I right?

 

Oh Perino... Spoiler: You never hear of him again! Seriously, why can't Perino have his own story?