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Videos you would pay Chris $100 to make

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by TheVoid, May 6, 2017.

  1. TheVoid

    TheVoid Well-Known Member

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    Here's something I was thinking about. So, Chris apparently charges about $50 a pop for his videos where he films himself reading stories, copypastas, or wishing someone a happy birthday. Knowing this, we have a pretty wide margin for the length of the videos that you could buy for $50, from 30 seconds to around 20 minutes in length.

    So, my question is that since we know what he'll do for $50 during the Financhu Crisis (or, what people will pay him to do), what would you ask him to do for $100?

    I feel that I should mention that, since Chris will make a video for $50, some of your suggestions could involve spending $50 on something, sending it to Chris, and then have him make a video with whatever you sent him. Shipping is not included in the $100, because we're going to assume that we live in a magical world without taxes and shipping costs.

    Here are some videos I would pay to see:

    Him playing with a dragon dildo - I just think that this would be amusing, and possibly could be used later for extra amusement as I show it to my friends. I doubt that he would do this, but I would like to see him cover the dildo in mayonnaise, and then start licking the mayonnaise off of the dildo. It isn't really a fetish thing, it's more of a "He's horribly uncomfortable around penises, especially ones that would make him feel inferior. What if he had to do something gay with an oversized dragon dildo on camera. How would he react?"

    Him singing Fodderstompf - I just think that this freeform song sung mostly in falsetto would be amusing to watch Chris attempting to sing. He has difficulty keeping time and singing the lyrics of simple songs with far tighter structure. A freeform song where he has to sing with a goofy falsetto and a funny accent would probably be amusing.

    A remake of a classic Chris video - This would just be interesting to see, but imagine if we asked Chris and Barb to re-enact the moment when Bob walked in on Chris in his room making a video, or the video where he's lifting those pop cans. It would be a nice nostalgia trip, and it would surely provide some amusement as the new Chris channels classic Chris by going back into the past, to re-enact the shitty videos that suck ass. He'd rather haaaaavvvvveeee a buffaaaaaallllooooo, take a diarrhea dump in his ear.
     
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  2. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    I wold pay $100 to see him reinact the Asperchu theme song.
     
  3. Retrogamepak

    Retrogamepak CWC and Dirty

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    I would pay him a hundred bucks to shave his head. That rat nest needs to be taken out back and shot.
     
  4. Duhtay Wodes

    Duhtay Wodes The Uh-Mehwican Dwe-yum

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    I second this.
     
  5. king kong... with wings?

    king kong... with wings? Snek doesn't like being manhandled

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    Id pay him to eat a part of the angels trumpet plant and record what he does while under its influence (I am joking about this though)
     
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  6. Count Olaf

    Count Olaf The Swedish term for beef that is roasted

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    I'd take it a step further. Have him shave his head and then use the shavings as kindling to burn that fucking moldy ass shirt he's trying to sell.

    . . .on second thought maybe not. He'd probably end up burning down his house. Again.

    Although. . .
     
  7. Stardust

    Stardust Self-proclaimed Ween

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    I would pay him to scream julayyyyy xdxdx

    Actually i would like to see him reading awfull and weird fanfictions like breadaniel
     
  8. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    I'd pay him $100 if he filmed himself filling out an employment application for his local grocery store, and handing it to the manager.

    that's 100 bucks I'll never lose.
     
  9. Erika

    Erika RL incel hunter

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    There is some sick part of me thinking, what would Chris do in self disrespect or harm for a over all small amount of money to the normal person. I think him reading a William Luther Pierce speech would be comical as hell with his little stress sighs and grunts. From his interactions with Synder we know he's got a hint of anti semitism in him already.

    On a less tormenting (to him) but more to humanity, since I think he might... and would enjoy it. Sailor Moon theme song, in cosplay. Let me open my wallet, this needs to happen.
     
    TheVoid likes this.
  10. Aldora

    Aldora Well-Known Member

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    Zit pop.
     
    Craftaman Tractor likes this.
  11. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    If I had $100 to waste spend on CWC, maybe a video where Chris has already recently taken a shower, dressed more or less normally, got a haircut (or at least tied the hair back), washed the putrid green "Battery-Charged Blue" dye out, moved out of 14BLC, gotten work (even just light volunteer work), stopped going to fast food restaurants all the time, and the video involves a tour of the new place -- which is at least arguably tidy.

    And the $100 goes towards doing all that.
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2017
  12. Uncle Frank

    Uncle Frank Occasionally slips through the cracks

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    I'd pay him to do another Rollin and Trollin.
     
  13. king kong... with wings?

    king kong... with wings? Snek doesn't like being manhandled

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    I'd pay him to listen to that band that he drew art for see what he really thinks of their music
    It sure as hell doesn't sound like "pinkie pie playing a theremin"
     
  14. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    I'd pay him 100$ to donate 99$ to charity, on camera
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2017
  15. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    You mean $99 to the CWC save the lights fund? Only to have the money blown on Legos and man boob gel.
     
    Very Honest Content likes this.
  16. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    Nah, pay him 100 dollars to donate 99 dollars on camera
    Unless I misunderstood you, in which case, derp
     
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  17. Craftaman Tractor

    Craftaman Tractor I do not identify myself as a helicopter

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    >pay
    >Chris

    Nope. Not happening.
     
  18. Katolate

    Katolate Boxyfly

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    I would pay him to make a video of him having a job, at the rate of 1 minute of being hard at work = 1 dollar and so.
    The moment he stops working is when the money stops adding up.
     
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  19. TheVoid

    TheVoid Well-Known Member

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    Just a quick note here. Can people stop saying that they'll pay him money to film himself having a job. I get it, you don't like how he receives disability, you don't like how he receives money for doing nothing while you have to work for your money, I get it.

    A post like this here, is both unfunny and actually comes across as a little bit whiny. This thread was kind of meant to pitch funny ideas for a video that Chris would make if he was paid $100. Paying him $100 to better his life and then film it, is both unfunny and not really practical. This comment right here is asking him to take a shower (if I remember right, at his old place the shower was filled with crap, but that has probably changed), dressed normally (more likely, he probably has some normal clothes, but I doubt he knows what 'normal' actually looks like), gotten a haircut (part of the criteria is that you'll have to pay for the haircut with the money you give him, read the original post), washed the dye from his hair (the most likely thing that he would do), move out of his house (to where exactly, you can't just snap your fingers, find a different place to live and then have all of your stuff go there. It's difficult and usually takes at least a few weeks or a couple months to find a new place and move out even for more capable people. It would be nearly impossible for a guy like Chris. It actually took me two months to find a place and move my stuff there, and that's not counting the money I saved for a deposit on the apartment, and I have a job).

    It's just not funny, it's way too much to ask of him (especially for only $100) and it actually comes across as though you have genuine hatred for him. Also, I believe that the constant telling Chris to "Get a job like the rest of us" is actually being discouraged more and more. As he gets older, stranger and the information about him builds up on the internet, he becomes much less employable and much less likely to improve his life. He's in his thirties, and the radical changes he needs to happen in his life simply aren't going to happen. It's best to just leave him be in his miserable existence, or encourage him to work on something (like videos, or commissions) to encourage some kind of work ethic so that he could actually be more employable.

    Of course, there are still going to be people who tell him to "Get a job" when he's in his fifties and too sickly, stupid and antisocial to work at the simplest entry-level position at a supermarket or a fast food place.

    Ok, soapbox rant over.

    Also, the post above me isn't much better.
     
  20. Strewth

    Strewth The Macho King

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    The monologue from Taxi Driver.

    Although it loses a lot now he doesn't have the Megatron pistol.