The Official Waterthread - In Which Waterman’s Retardation is Collected

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by Sexual Tyrannosaurus, Jan 31, 2017.

  1. Sexual Tyrannosaurus

    Sexual Tyrannosaurus Mad Shitposter of Shimano Staff Member

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    I don’t think Waterman deserves his own sub, but damn, does he sperg a shitload on Chris’ wall.

    Here, we can collect Waterman’s “Best of”. (Please link to the original Chris or Kengle FB post too.)

    Also, in a cow crossover, we can discuss how bad Kengle thirsts for Waterman’s mom, (AKA Watermom) and become Waterman’s new Waterdad.

    Have at it, Kids. :D
     
  2. Princess Celestia

    Princess Celestia Your local techni-color horse.

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    William Elliot Waterman is a master troll with a secret plan to troll Chris that everyone will envy him for for all time.
    Source: his supreme edginess - William Elliot Waterman ​
     
  3. Stardust

    Stardust Self-proclaimed Ween

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    Who is he? Im kinda out of loop, is a new troll??
     
  4. JULAY

    JULAY Active Member

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    Waterman is as autistic as Chris, and almost as unattractive as Chris. Not a winning combination.
     
  5. Doc Cassidy

    Doc Cassidy Coc Dassidy

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    Although I no longer have the caps, there was a forum waterman posted on where he role played as a Viking's pet crow. Like, he literally pretended to be a crow. His posts went like this.

    "*Caw*Caw*Caw*Caw*Caw*Caw*
    Translation: I'm waterman and I diddle kids"

    It's always stood out to me as the spergiest thing imaginable. I honestly can't think of anything more retarded than that.

    After he was banned he made a new account pretending to be the Viking and was like "Ja I iz ze viking zat owned zat crow and he vants to know vhat Pokemon has ze strongest attack. Danke you"

    If someone still has those caps that would be great because it's one of my favorite things ever.
     
  6. Sexual Tyrannosaurus

    Sexual Tyrannosaurus Mad Shitposter of Shimano Staff Member

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    My understanding was that he’s somehow related to Anna (cousin, I think?) and was introduced to Chris through her. He thirsts for Gloria Tesch and Kengle thirsts for his mom. (Kengle is even friends with her on FB, which is where “Kemmeth” came about, because she’d made that glorious typo in a comment on his FB wall once.)

    Waterman makes the dumbest posts and thinks he’s some sort of maestr trole, but he’s just a dumbass ween. Supposedly, he was the one responsible for Chris reading the whole “Bluebird of Happiness” crap a while back.
     
  7. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 Condemned to HELL by Brad Watson

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  8. Pibot

    Pibot Not to be confused with PiBot

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    My memories of Waterman
    ⋅That time Chris found out his galpals were fake and posted some Pokémon to reflect his emotions. Waterman commented that he likes the Pokémon he used.
    ⋅ That time Waterman was made admin of the Keep Sonic Original Facebook group, and immediately banned Kim and threatened to release the personal information of every member unless they joined the Commander Keen forums and demand one of their admins got banned. The forums blocked new membership hours later.
    ⋅That time Chris made a status saying he liked the Lego movie, Waterman comments about what makes an A-log.
    ⋅That time he came to the Farms and implied that he basically controlled the Chris content and we had to do what he said (I think it was the Commander Keen shit again.) This lead to Chris unfriending him.
    ⋅The time he got in a PM fight with Alec Benson Leary, where he accuses Asperchu (a comic that's been done for half a decade) to be a parody of Sonichu, Alec argued it was a parody of Chris. The best parts of their slap fight was Waterman bragged about having a "transcript", something literally every American has thanks to anti-truancy laws, and his mention of struggling to write his Ed Edd n Eddy/Twilight crossover fanfic. He claimed Twilight is so bad, it took "years to research." Although he apparently can't stand to read books that would take a normal human about 4 months to blow through, but he's writing a serious fanfic.

    No fooling, the fanfic is here, and it's pretty remarkable how bad it is.
    https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7070469/1/A-New-Ed-in-Town
     
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  9. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 Condemned to HELL by Brad Watson

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    He honestly said Twilight took years to research? Is he writing a parody or studying for his master's thesis?
     
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  10. Adderall Zombie

    Adderall Zombie Well-Known Member

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    I remember this. I seem to recall him acting like a huge fucking edgelord and talking like a video game villain, and kept making dumb orders expecting the Farms to comply to them or else he'd cut off the content. He made like one thread and subsequently got banned.
     
  11. Vexing Devil

    Vexing Devil pokes you for 4 whether you like it or not.

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    i still like the fact the alec pretty much bodied him in those PM's and the fact that he hated kiwifarms because everyone and their mother told him to stop acting like he's six.
     
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  12. Caffeinated_pirate

    Caffeinated_pirate Wait, what?

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    Oh, this is going to be good.
     
  13. Craftaman Tractor

    Craftaman Tractor I do not identify myself as a helicopter

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    Sexy sexy thread guys, but should't this go on CWC Orbiters? Or was this thread created just before that board came to be?
     
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  14. Vexing Devil

    Vexing Devil pokes you for 4 whether you like it or not.

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    the latter.
     
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  15. Caffeinated_pirate

    Caffeinated_pirate Wait, what?

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    But I got settled here! Took my shoes off and everything.
     
  16. Sexual Tyrannosaurus

    Sexual Tyrannosaurus Mad Shitposter of Shimano Staff Member

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    He used to have an Orbiter’s sub, but literally all he does is comment on Chris (and Gloria Tesch’s) FB’s. Otherwise he’s extremely boring and not worthy of his own sub.
     
  17. flowers for sonichu

    flowers for sonichu Better person than Chris

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    Watermelon looks like he's in severe pain in every photo he is in.
     
  18. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    I still can't get over the fact that there is an active forum dedicated to Commander Keen in 2017.



    I seem to remember Waterman briefly learning his lesson and being off the radar for a while, only to return back to his usual autism.

    Feel like he's too boring to warrant a separate thread.
     
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  19. catparty

    catparty Moderator Staff Member

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    aside from being an attention whore, waterman is one of those autistics who says just stupid shit and thinks the world should understand what he is saying. he does this with chris and gloria tesch thinking he's being an ebin trole but he just comes off looking like a complete idiot. not even the good "lol what an idiot" but "ugh why are you talking"
     
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  20. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    I knew Waterman was out there, but not that far.
     
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