Simply Sara and Other Cooking Atrocities

Let me preface this by saying I love cooking. These videos are some of the most painful things I've ever watched. Please join me in celebrating some of the worst food on the internet. First, the infamous Macaroni Salad:


Another personal favorite:


Everything about this Fried Slaw is wrong. Peas. Scrambled eggs. Not draining the meat. Added sweetener. There is a theme in her videos of adding about 5 ingredients more than she needs to make something that might taste decent.

 

This one's a classic.

"Two shots of Vodka..."

[PROCEEDS TO GLUG A QUARTER OF A BOTTLE INTO SHAKER]

 

"And now you kin add just a little more mayo, if that's how you like it..." *blorps in the whole jar*

Really, I was hooked by Simply Sara's channel because of its variety. Will the next recipe be another horrorshow of a "salad" that's mostly pasta, sugar, and mayonnaise? Will it be some perfectly normal country cooking, like the pork neck bones and potatoes? Or will it be something paleo-friendly, low carb, or gluten free? It is a mystery!

As an aside, I've always been impressed by how clean Simply Sara keeps her kitchen. With that volume of clutter, it would be obvious if she were just wiping up before making videos, but no - it's clear she's a really good housekeeper. Given how she's visibly winded by doing things like opening a can, that's genuinely impressive.

 

Apparently this recipe needed a video.

 

I'm hardly the most in-shape person, but watching this makes me feel like a fucking Olympian.

 

We actually speculated that she has so much clutter because she's physically incapable of bending over to use the low cabinets.

 

I think most of her counter stuff would make sense to leave out if it's being used on the regular; this is probably a both/and situation, not either/or! She's probably not tall enough to reach the top shelves in the upper cabinets, either.


Not too long ago, identical recipes for cauliflower breadsticks showed up in my rss reader almost back-to-back, and damned if I didn't feel like I were living in a Philosophy 101 thought experiment for a minute there.

Spoiler

I see two pictures, with the duck-rabbit surrounded by rabbits in one, by ducks in the other. I do not notice that they are the same.

 

I can't remember if this guy used to have a thread or not, but here ya go:

 

That dude was awesome. I found it amazing how he had a bathroom right next to the kitchen and he run in the to get extra things he needed. My favorite was the peaches and hot dogs video.

 

Probably because we're all too young to remember her, but I am reminded of the legendary Fanny Cradock.





From lubricating a dry bird, to mincemeat Swiss roll, follow these methods and your petits fours will look just like Fanny's.

 

You can't bring up Sandra Lee and not mention all the cakes she also made on Semi-Homemade.

The "Noel" Christmas tree cake is the best one:


The Kwanzaa cake was literally angel food with pie filling topped with chocolate and fucking Corn Nuts:


And then there's the wedding cake which was just a bunch of gross premade cakes with sugar cookies stuck to it:

 

Anyone remember Cooking With Hoarders? The original youtube channel was nuked in 2010 iirc but there are a ton of mirrors of his videos. Basically it's this hoarder who shows us how he cooks in a home that makes CWC's house look clean.

 

^ oh hell yeah, masaokis!! i loved it when he'd get all philosophical about how fruit and old people both turn white as they get old but it doesn't make them bad, all the while while grilling a steak on his toilet seat while a slice of bread soaks in the toilet bowl.

https://www.youtube.com/user/parthenocarpySA/videos

and also
http://www.dailymotion.com/richie-milkis

 

I did not realize she was back. Jesus Christ, that macaroni salad is just redundant with the condensed milk.

 

Yeah, all of MasakoHF's old videos are mirrored on ParthenocarpySA's channel that is linked above.
Masako has a new channel and uploads new stuff every so often, here: https://www.youtube.com/user/masaoHF

The newest video is from about 6 months ago and well worth watching:

 

I love how people think that they cook food that other people might like because they regularly cook food that meets their very low standards, then they make Youtube videos showcasing their culinary 'talents' and get rightfully mocked.

It's like how certain people go "Writing, I can do that, I do it every day" then proceed to write terrible fanfiction stories.