Loud House Revamped, the Longest Fanfiction Ever Made

Yes.

The show continued after he was gone.

But did that stop JamesDean5842? No.

 

I also just remembered that Chris Savino made a web comic all about a cat boy and his incestuous love for his mother.

(I'll be damned if this has yet to show up on the Bad Webcomics Wiki, TBH.)

 

This fanfic is the Mahabharata of autism

 

Wasn't he the guy who made Dexter's Laboratory change a lot when he took over?

 

Probably.

Seems to be his show has a fanbase of similar weirdos from what I've seen.

 

BTW the cartoon that guy was watching was Loud House IIRC.

(for some reason this thread reminded me of that story)

 

It would be quite a concidence if it turned out to be the author.

 

Is @ToroidalBoat from Michigan?

 

probably not

 

I am from Michigan, but I don't live in the south part (you probably guessed since I know where the supermax prison is)

 

And now I choose to commit mental CBT on myself yet again. And it's not behavioral therapy. It's just pain. I have no catharsis in reading this garbage. But you know what I find fun? Tearing it apart. So that's what I'm going to continue with.

We're now up to chapter 60. The simulator arc concluded and I'll get to that, but my GOD was some of this is a fucking mess.

So when we last left off the Jedi Order had been destroyed and then J.D. flew back home with his new buddies and they went off to build over the abandoned Detroit baseball stadium. The Jedi is probably too busy dealing with politics to come back for right now. So instead of worrying about that, which would be a far more interesting (and hilarious) plot, we're going to traverse some old movies.

And what better way than to start it with Anastasia? That's right. The simulator arc isn't over. We're still like 5 or 6 away from finishing that.

It's literally the plot of Anastasia but now Lori shows up to save Ana from falling off into the train tracks and hitting her head.

Anastasia is not sure how or why a girl with wings just showed up. By the way, Lori has wings, now. So do a bunch of characters. You know how many fucking details I miss because the author cannot fucking make a narrative that is ever consistent?

WELL, Lori is like, "I'm glad you're okay because I just know the plot needs you to be."

Anastasia then drops deep lore about Rasputin and how's a fucking monster that killed her parents. So Lori takes Anastasia off to confront Rasputin and a fight happens.

Rasputin is very mad that Anastasia is alive. A fight ensues between Lori and Rasputin, and he dies. And that's it.

But Anastasia has nowhere left to go because "MY PARENTS ARE DEAAAAAAAD!"


So Lori says "well come on you can live at my place!"

Anastasia comes back. Ever heard of a worst fate? Because I think Anastasia would rather be dead than be in this mess.

The author takes a shit on Communism and apologizes to Russia for it. It's only the beginning because from what I can tell, the author goes hard against communism and will trash it at any mention. The only time I feel the need to say "more power to you." Though I doubt he has any real understanding of this shit and probably only hates it because his parents probably do. Just a theory.

Okay, moving on. Because now we're going Disney shit.

I never watched The Rescuers and have little knowledge of it, but Lincoln and Linka are big fans of it. After going into the simulator to go through the movie, they both turn and say, "IT'S OUR FAVORITE MOVIE!"
Also now Linka is just going with being Lincoln's twin sister. Haha. Her entire family getting arrested isn't an issue. I might have left that out last time I mentioned it, but Linka's brothers were all arrested after something involving a $50,000 baseball card. And then were dragged off and that universe will probably be trimmed out of existence. Totally fine!

Okay, back on topic. The duo establishes that The Rescuers is their favorite movie, and not even two paragraphs later do they arrive at Madam Medusa's house and ask "what's going on?"
"I don't remember! We'll have to see."

:|

They rescue a girl named Penny and the plot happens. It's boring.

Everything following in these events is the same as the movie, at least as I'm speculating. It's a treasure hunt for the Devil's Eye, some diamond that's worth a lot.
And when they find it, the value is estimated to be $582,647,842,334,550.00.
If that's in the original movie that's fucking ridiculous. Which makes me think the author himself thought that up, because if something was that valuable, can guarantee you the U.S. government- no, the fucking ENTIRE WORLD would be turning the country upside down just to find it to clear the national debt. And this was 1977 dollars. Inflation has probably jumped that shit up tremendously.

Also Anastasia comments that "I know what it's like to be rich and wouldn't want that kind of money."

I felt extremely upset at how poorly written she is, but maybe that's because I actually liked the movie Anastasia even though I barely remember it.

Things happen, Madam Medusa gets beaten and flies into a riverboat engine (if that didn't happen and I made it up don't worry it's better this way.)

I forgot there are animals in it and all I thought of was the animated Titanic movie. Who gives a shit, though? Not like anyone's going to make a return save for Penny.

As we close out, this line made me laugh.

"In New York City, Penny got the best news of her life the following week. She was getting adopted into the Loud Family. This was the best day of her life."

Yeah I got that.

And as for Madam Medusa and her henchman Mr. Snoops?

"Medusa and Mr. Snoops were both found guilty in 5 states of numerous counts of Grand Theft (10 counts of Grand Theft each in Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Texas) They were both sentenced to 300 years in Florida, 200 years in Alabama, 100 years in Mississippi, 100 Years in Louisiana, and 990 years in Texas for Grand Theft for a total of 1,690 years. In New york they were found guilty of Aggravated 1st Degree Kidnapping. They were sentenced to Life in Prison. They were also ordered to pay $10,000,000.00 in restitution."


I've made the joke before about prosecutors doing a really good job, but this is ridiculous. Also I'm pretty sure this violates at a federal level at that point, don't it?

 

Next movie is the movie Balto. I barely know this but it's the same movie with sled dogs. Moving on? Because this one was fucking boring. I barely remember shit about this and I just fucking read the story.

Next comes Terra from Teen Titans and Lynn entering the simulator and entering Journey to the Center of the Earth. Both the book and the movie with Brendan Fraser. And before you ask, no, Brendan Fraser does not show up, much to my dismay.

The Aztecs are in an ancient part hidden under Earth. Terra and Lynn meet the chief and it's, ONCE AGAIN, the same plot as before. EXCEPT WITH ROCK POWERS.

And the Solaroids are defeated with said rock powers. Literal petrification. It would be so nice if I actually felt some FUCKING DRAMA.

This is the first time I've felt a real annoyance reading this. Because it was the first time I felt like I could be doing something better. (Usually I'm at work listening to this so it's less of a bother, but I'm off work today).

They rescue their new friend, Gabrielle, and run back as they recover something. Once again, I didn't care and this won't come back anyways.

The chief sets up a possible sequel.

"WE WILL MEET AGAIN ONE DAY, FRENS."

"I HAVE A FEELING WE WILL, CHIEF."

And a vortex opens up and they travel back with a new person. Gabrielle has now joined.

And I want death.

Oh but how about we move ahead to a movie I do know? Anyone here a fan of Land Before Time?

THAT'S RIGHT. So J.D. Lincoln, Laney, and some ninja named "Fu" go into the simulator. I guess Fu showed up from the time Naruto appeared because I do not remember his name. But he's here. I went back to check and the other cast members of Naruto are back in the Loud House.

And that's a fucking weird statement. This entire thing is a Loud House fanfic. THIS IS A LOUD HOUSE FANFIC. LET THAT SINK IN.

Excuse me I need to fucking scream.

Okay I'm back. I just needed to stick my head in my freezer. And scream. I think I scared my cat.

Back to it, but we're here with dinosaurs. Littlefoot comes running along with Cera and a human girl.
I was very confused because humans aren't in Land Before Time, but here we are.

And right behind the trio of human and dinos is Sharptooth. Who I kept misreading the name as Sephiroth.

Shit, now that I think about it, Sephiroth could have summoned meteor to wipe out the dinosaurs...

Okay, back on it. Sharptooth is going after everyone but J.D. punches sharptooth. Somehow, the punch causes damage and knocks him back.

And then we get to the part where Littlefoot's mom was supposed to die. But J.D. stops Sharptooth. Somehow. And so things change. Because characters can grow without tragedy, right?

Shit, speaking of Sephiroth, I wonder if this guy is going to write about J.D. stopping Sephiroth from killing Aerith in FF7.

As things progress. The human girl is named Aylene. Aylene is here because of a time stone she has. A FUCKING TIME STONE.

As things go on the movie's plot once again happens with a couple new things. Though I will say, for once, the action scene NOT the most poorly written thing ever. It's kinda okay, I guess, as Aylene shoots an arrow into Sharptooth's heart and decimates him as everyone is being chased. A little bit of tension can do wonders when you're bored out of your fucking mind.

Though the more I think about it, I wonder if the author had help on this chapter. The dialogue is a little better here than in other areas. Aylene is someone else's OC and there's some sweet scenes that feel they've a little more emotion in them. But it's short-lived.

It also might be my nostalgia for the movie as well talking. It ends. But not before the reveal that

SURPRISINGLY, I FOUND OUT THAT AYLENE LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO US!

I wonder why that is. I'm sure I'd say "there goes the neighborhood" if I saw a guy like J.D. move in

 

Well, remembered that Brendan Frasier was in Journey to the Center of the Earth. Better add that to my planned Frasier marathon, which will also include Encino Man, George of the Jungle, The Mummy trilogy, Monkeybone, and Looney Tunes: Back in Action.
I just listed off a bunch of movies starring Brendan Frasier, and that still manages to be better than this abomination you're reading.
(And no, the Metal Slug music I'm listening too is not making the fact that this is the longest literature ever written any better.)

 

I write to the Ace Combat briefing music.

Shit, wait, when am I not listening to that?

 

Does the author of the watfic have an ending in mind?

Also, what would the genre be? Fantasy? Very soft SF?

 

How do they come up with the inspiration to write all of this stuff? I know a lot of people that have a hard time even figuring out what to write let alone write thousands of chapters.

 

Maybe it's a "stream of consciousness" thing where they write all they daydream about, with a mind like on a perpetual sugar high. And the author's mind seems to be TV-fried: almost all full of memories of wacky hijinks with corporate mascot cartoon characters, not unlike that of CWC. In other words, they watch way too much TV.

 

Apparently endless, as stated before.

 

So the way it'll likely end is it'll just stop abruptly because the author can't update anymore.

(lost internet connection, etc.)

 

Crashing into slumber, lost inspiration, dang dirty trolls, fucking his own mother. The list of possibilities goes on.