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"I Can Feel the Boat" - ToroidalBoat & ICanFeeltheCosmos Adventures!

Discussion in 'Internet Fiction/Fanfiction' started by Anya, Jan 14, 2022.

  1. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    OK, so we need to get the inner tube back from the Hallmark lady

    we need a convoluted plan involving ham radio, astronomy, the newly restored desert bus, and :fatman: and maybe :blart: and some cats :floof:
    for good measure
     
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  2. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    Ever wanting to be helpful, the desert bus drives itself out of the pothole. It also opens the luggage compartment and a few cats happen to be inside.
     
  3. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    The cats are... displeased for being disturbed from there slumber.
     
  4. Anya

    Anya Heh Administrator

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    The cats settle down once it's discovered that Cosmos had some beef jerky. Unfortunately, it quickly turns into a feeding frenzy.

    Where's the first aid kit????
     
  5. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    Cosmos takes a few bandages from the bus's first aid kit and patches himself up.
    "Cats, man. Now where did that little birb go?"
     
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  6. Congratulations

    Congratulations You like? B& AF, Fam Very Helpful

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    The cats circle the bus, meowing in union at the thought of catching that sweet birb atop the bus
    Toroidal sheds a single bead of sweat from his feathery head
     
  7. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    ha ha what a story
    :story:
     
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  8. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    The bus revs the engine, trying to catch your attention. Do either of you speak bus?
     
  9. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    Cosmos gets on the bus
    the little birb has made a nest on top of the bus
    the cats come on the bus and one cuddles into Cosmos's lap and starts purring
     
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  10. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    The bus doors close. The White Woman with a respectable career from New York can be seen in the distance, sprinting through the desert in her high heels, the innertube under her arm.

    The engines roar, and the bus takes off after her, going from zero to fifty five at a surprising speed.
     
  11. Anya

    Anya Heh Administrator

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    Little does our Hallmark Heroine know but the bus driver is her long-lost high school crush, who stood her up at the Homecoming Dance because his parents died in a car accident, leaving him responsible for his younger siblings, so he had to drop out of school and disappear from her life, while she pined for years wondering what could have been.

    The birb's nest has is ruffled by the increasing speed of the bus, but little birb holds tightly, wondering where the smell of jerky is coming from.

    Cosmos pets one of several cats, contemplating his next move.
     
  12. Fauna Fox

    Fauna Fox PS2 Era Furry Waifu (NOT PS3 ERA) B& AF, Fam

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    Toroidalboat finally gets the courage to summon one of Fauna Fox's Fatfurs for a little extra manpower during the mission.
     
    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 likes this.
  13. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    :fatman: Cosmos hears someone say behind him
    an enormous rotund man wearing glasses and cat ears is standing behind him
    :fatman: sorry, folks, it took me some time to get here
    so what's the plan?
     
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  14. Anya

    Anya Heh Administrator

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    Suddenly, flashing lights and sirens blare from behind the bus!
    The bus is harboring an illegal FatFur!
    What do?????

    Cosmos has no time to think his plan of attack. He must choose quickly (and wisely,):

    - Dispose of the FatFur by booting it out of the moving bus, driven by the Hallmark Heroine's Long Lost Love, who, after standing her up at the Homecoming dance in order to disappear from her life after his parents died in order to take care of his siblings and then wound up being scouted as a famous major league baseball pitcher, only to have to retire early after an injury so he had to take up driving a bus in order to make ends meet, but little does he know that with the love and support of Hallmark Heroine, he may be able to pitch again, and cause the FatFur to splat on the freeway and save ToroidalBoat from being blown off the roof of the bus and retrieve the sacred inner tube and thus continue the epic buddy adventure ...
    OR
    - Harbor the FatFur, get arrested by the cops and try his hardest to plead his case as to why he's harboring an illegal FatFur (where not even Cyan's court reporting skills can save him,) and end up in GitMo, being tortured for the whereabouts of the notorious criminal supervillain, Fauna Fox, whose illegal FatFurs are wreaking havoc around the world with their battle cry of :fatman:
    Also, ToroidalBoat, denied his inner tube, goes flying off the roof of the bus, having lost the will to hold on, and tumbles around in the desert for all eternity in a depressed stupor, without even a cat to pet, and also cursing Cosmos for being a bad adventure buddy.
     
  15. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    noooo!
    sorry, Fatman, you get the boot
    :fatman: to the end

    The fat furry bounces a few times on the pavement but is miraculously unharmed
    the bus stops, screeching to a hault
    "Velma?"
    "Eddie"
    [insert silly romance scene, ends with a sappy kiss]
    the unharmed :fatman: grabs the inner tube and gets on the bus
    "Fatman rides again! :fatman: "
    the birb flutters in and the door closes
    the bus takes off with Eddie and Velma holding each other on the edge of the desert highway
    the police officer, Eddie's high school buddy, assists them
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2022
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  16. Anya

    Anya Heh Administrator

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    As everyone says "Awwww" at the happy reconciliation and watches the couple embrace get further and further away, one vital question is brought up ...

    Who's driving the bus now?
     
  17. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    the bus is self-driving and under the control of a private-public partnership between a powerful corporation and the federal government
    this is an old joke in the desert bus thread
     
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  18. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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  19. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    The sun sets and it's a cold night in the cloudless desert
    everyone has a cat on them for warmth - :fatman: has multiple cats on his body
     
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  20. Congratulations

    Congratulations You like? B& AF, Fam Very Helpful

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    *Timeskip between episodes 1 and 2 because producers ran out of money*