"I Can Feel the Boat" - ToroidalBoat & ICanFeeltheCosmos Adventures!

OK, so we need to get the inner tube back from the Hallmark lady

we need a convoluted plan involving ham radio, astronomy, the newly restored desert bus, and and maybe and some cats
for good measure

 

The cats are... displeased for being disturbed from there slumber.

 

The cats settle down once it's discovered that Cosmos had some beef jerky. Unfortunately, it quickly turns into a feeding frenzy.

Where's the first aid kit????

 

Cosmos takes a few bandages from the bus's first aid kit and patches himself up.
"Cats, man. Now where did that little birb go?"

 

The cats circle the bus, meowing in union at the thought of catching that sweet birb atop the bus
Toroidal sheds a single bead of sweat from his feathery head

 

ha ha what a story

 

Cosmos gets on the bus
the little birb has made a nest on top of the bus
the cats come on the bus and one cuddles into Cosmos's lap and starts purring

 

Little does our Hallmark Heroine know but the bus driver is her long-lost high school crush, who stood her up at the Homecoming Dance because his parents died in a car accident, leaving him responsible for his younger siblings, so he had to drop out of school and disappear from her life, while she pined for years wondering what could have been.

The birb's nest has is ruffled by the increasing speed of the bus, but little birb holds tightly, wondering where the smell of jerky is coming from.

Cosmos pets one of several cats, contemplating his next move.

 

Toroidalboat finally gets the courage to summon one of Fauna Fox's Fatfurs for a little extra manpower during the mission.

 

Cosmos hears someone say behind him
an enormous rotund man wearing glasses and cat ears is standing behind him
sorry, folks, it took me some time to get here
so what's the plan?

 

Suddenly, flashing lights and sirens blare from behind the bus!
The bus is harboring an illegal FatFur!
What do?????

Cosmos has no time to think his plan of attack. He must choose quickly (and wisely,):

- Dispose of the FatFur by booting it out of the moving bus, driven by the Hallmark Heroine's Long Lost Love, who, after standing her up at the Homecoming dance in order to disappear from her life after his parents died in order to take care of his siblings and then wound up being scouted as a famous major league baseball pitcher, only to have to retire early after an injury so he had to take up driving a bus in order to make ends meet, but little does he know that with the love and support of Hallmark Heroine, he may be able to pitch again, and cause the FatFur to splat on the freeway and save ToroidalBoat from being blown off the roof of the bus and retrieve the sacred inner tube and thus continue the epic buddy adventure ...
OR
- Harbor the FatFur, get arrested by the cops and try his hardest to plead his case as to why he's harboring an illegal FatFur (where not even Cyan's court reporting skills can save him,) and end up in GitMo, being tortured for the whereabouts of the notorious criminal supervillain, Fauna Fox, whose illegal FatFurs are wreaking havoc around the world with their battle cry of
Also, ToroidalBoat, denied his inner tube, goes flying off the roof of the bus, having lost the will to hold on, and tumbles around in the desert for all eternity in a depressed stupor, without even a cat to pet, and also cursing Cosmos for being a bad adventure buddy.

 

noooo!
sorry, Fatman, you get the boot
to the end

The fat furry bounces a few times on the pavement but is miraculously unharmed
the bus stops, screeching to a hault
"Velma?"
"Eddie"
[insert silly romance scene, ends with a sappy kiss]
the unharmed grabs the inner tube and gets on the bus
"Fatman rides again! "
the birb flutters in and the door closes
the bus takes off with Eddie and Velma holding each other on the edge of the desert highway
the police officer, Eddie's high school buddy, assists them

 

As everyone says "Awwww" at the happy reconciliation and watches the couple embrace get further and further away, one vital question is brought up ...

Who's driving the bus now?

 

the bus is self-driving and under the control of a private-public partnership between a powerful corporation and the federal government

Spoiler

this is an old joke in the desert bus thread

 

What if there was a sudden flash of light from deep in the desert?

maybe not fitting in a comedy

Spoiler

(Nuclear Blast: Real Audio + Audio Reconstruction - YouTube)
(sudden bang at 00:50 and 2:16)

 

The sun sets and it's a cold night in the cloudless desert
everyone has a cat on them for warmth - has multiple cats on his body

 

*Timeskip between episodes 1 and 2 because producers ran out of money*