Favorite Chris moments

Chris casually battling with the ear falling off is the type of thing that doesn't exist outside of cartoons.

 

Feel a little bad about this one:

As far as I know, this:



has the highest concentration of Chris's myriad speech issues, i.e. "I'm having sets with three women! Da one in the middow is half-and-half!"

 

We could have a whole thread about what we think Chris's most confusing speech issues are. One of my favorites was Chris talking about his strength during the Liquid Saga. Every phone call was "I am stroooooooong and have strooooooooooooong strength and will stroooooooooooong how strooooooooong I am for Kacey because I am stuh-roooooooooooooong."

 

'I! NAME! IS! NOT! IAN! BRANNAN! SOMETHING!'

 

Didn't he angrily bounce in protest like a little kid while yelling that?

 

That is an easy one. chris passing basic English in school

 

While the ethics of getting this information are questionable, his high school work is a comedy goldmine.
Especially that WW2 essay where he said 'the US and Japan really wanted to get it on', as well as the English essays where he just casually starts writing in Spanish halfway through.

 

good old trash raider

 

"a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"

 

I love how Liquid Matt convinced Chris that his Liquid Chris alterego and Kacey run 2-5 miles everyday and eat healthy, home-cooked meals.

Isn't this Kacey?



If so, how in the hell could Chris see her and think she does anything resembling those things?

 

Chris doesn't recognize people well.

(it's that autistic face blindess thing that led him to think multiple girls were all "Blanca Weiss")

 

I think it was more about intimidation than actually getting him to improve his life. I feel like by 2010 people had realized that Chris wasn't going to change and even if he did that just meant no more milk from the old lolcow.

 

Honestly, anyone trying to label any of this as "ethical trolling" is full of shit. Just admit you're a fucking asshole like the rest of us, but don't do these moral gymnastics about it.

And you can get five miles in an hour, but you need to be hauling ass. I was able to get in 5.5 miles in 75 minutes last time I was cutting (fitness cutting, not emo cutting). However, I was eating the cleanest I could eat for about a month, didn't stop running once I started a cardio session (with the exception of warm-up and cool-down), drank ridiculous amounts of water through the day, and took pre-workout beforehand.

I guess it just goes to show how bad Chris is with both facial blindness AND in-general logic lol.

 

Kacey's dad was so stereotypical and unrealistic that only a naive fool would believe what he was saying. Someone like, oh, I don't know...

 

Or maybe a foreigner.

Chris kind of is like one who doesn't know the language well and only knows about the culture via media.

 

That guy likely has better hygiene than "Pristine Christine" before the Jail of Fail.

Spoiler: fun fact

IIRC, those were a pair of comedians mocking the rather awkward otaku guy for a TV show.

And IIRC one Japanese commenter said it was cruel of them, even if the guy was that way.

 

I mean people often do compare autism to being an alien.

 

Remember when Chris had that boring "Yahtzee!" dream?

Can you imagine what an entire species of beings like CWC would be like?

(maybe they'd come from a planet that has thick red and blue stripes with thin white stripes between them)