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Faithful Hearts

Discussion in 'Internet Fiction/Fanfiction' started by Cyan, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    Cyan saves the day with her ship 'tism! I didn't want to comment on it since I know very little about ships, though something did feel off about it. Probably the "war" part, since that evokes the image of something sturdy and large, built to stand combat.

    You're right, regardless. The Argentum can't function as a man-of-war ship with just one person manning it, let alone what's essentially a skeleton crew. Just to take the piss out of Marina being "well-read" I'm adding to that headcanon by saying it's Marina getting the ship type wrong by being a know-nothing-know-it-all.
     
  2. Descent

    Descent Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
    If Marina is so concerned with proper protocol, you'd think she'd know how to properly speak to the captain of the ship she's going to be living on. Maybe don't stamp your feet like a spoiled three year old
     
  3. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    Chapter 13: Make it First Stop

    They ate dinner an hour before bed and made sure to brush their teeth.

    Really, this isn't pertinent information, DF. We can assume that they sleep at night well enough on our own, though how do they know it's night out in the Etherium? They're out in what's essentially space for the entirety of the ride.

    And this is about as much as you'll get for "Marina is an explorer!" characterization, as DF has never heard of "show, don't tell." Also, how do you "use up" a compass, or a spyglass, or charts? Yes I'm nitpicking, but DF is supposed to be a native English speaker. There is no excuse for this poor grasp of the language.

    Again, telling and not showing. And did Silver come in there immediately after? While we can assume he came in there in the morning, judging by the next bit of dialogue, this poorly written sentence paragraph seems to imply that he entered not long after she went to bed.

    Why yes, I'm harping on the first paragraph and nitpicking the hell out of it.

    Don't decide against it on our behalf, Marina. It'd make you look incredibly stupid if you growled like a dog to intimidate him.
    Much as I loathe to side with the jackass who is one bad day away from turning domestic abuser toward Marina, he does have a point. If Marina had read so much about exploration and the like then she should know the importance of getting a good night's sleep. Adventurers don't run on adrenaline alone!

    What an endearing character.
    In all fairness, a noblewoman having to adjust to life on a ship or getting to see that the adventuring life isn't what she had expected would be more bearable if 1. Marina actually learned from this experience and 2. nobody bent over backwards for her Royal Prissiness. Y'know, something called "character development"? Unfortunately, what we see is what we get and what we get is a toddler in a grown woman's body throwing a tantrum.

    I can't tell if it's supposed to be a joke or Marina is taking the worm part literally.

    That explains nothing. Also I just realized we've been calling it Fantasy Land instead of Magic Kingdom this whole time.

    So, most of the story is Marina and Co. reminding the audience that their job is TOP SECRET, but this organization knows? I'm not sure if that's better or worse.
    I took the liberty of just marking out that last sentence because it's made of dumb and nonsense.

    I love bursting your bubble Marina, but witchcraft, sorcery, and wizardry are so very closely intertwined that you can use them interchangeably; they're not "sometimes similar." If you want to get traditional, they are mainly differentiated by their intentions. To wit, witchcraft is about good intentions, sorcery about bad intentions, and wizardry about spiritual wisdom. Additionally, one of the main differences between witchcraft and sorcery is that witchcraft requires inherent magical power while sorcery is something anyone can do. All, however, employ the supernatural for certain results, hence why I said they're very closely intertwined. Today the differences are more of a nuance.
    TL;DR Silver actually isn't wrong about calling it "hocus pocus." You're just looking for a fight, Marina.

    Oh, Marina. We all know it's just you trying to prove people wrong over things you don't even understand yourself. No need to hide behind the caffeine.

    Too bad Goofy didn't do it of his own volition or else he would have immediately become my favorite character. For this chapter, at least.



    To her shock and everyone's joy, he smothered her instead with his giant hand.

    So in other words, Donald is currently the least useless character aboard this ship.


    I'm lazy. I'm not sorry.

    You left all common sense back on the ship. Might wanna go back and get it.

    "It's totally normal for people to teleport into our backyard!"
    To be fair, it's Phineas and Ferb. Weirder things have happened.

    They know too much.
     
  4. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    Marina needs to stop visiting the modern worlds. The steampunk sci-fi fantasy shit doesn't fit.

    Also magic sperging; witchcraft, sorcery and wizardry have their distinctions most of the time, but they would never matter to somebody unfamiliar with magic. Marina's just a sperg who cares too much about unimportant shit.
     
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  5. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    Her acting like a know-it-all is just not endearing. She never really uses it for anything truly important; just something minor like this so she can go "HAHA I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG!" EDIT: Granted it would still be annoying if she used it for anything important, but it would be useful then and thus bearable.

    Silver technically isn't wrong to call it "hocus pocus" since it's magic. Marina just nitpicked harder than I do to be all "LOOK AT HOW SMART I AM!" Besides, we have enough info being dropped on us without Marina chiming in about the different kinds of magic in a universe where it doesn't matter. Magic is magic. Let's not make this more complicated than it needs to be, Marina/DF.

    Off-topic, but Mickey and Yen Sid practice a little sorcery, don't they? That little nuance regarding sorcery would explain a lot about them.
     
  6. Descent

    Descent Well-Known Member

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    Oh boy! What great, iconic Disney world will the team visit first!
    ...oh.
     
  7. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    CHAPTER 14: Danville

    Okay, I know these are kids (albeit very inventive kids) but how do they get from "space people" to "magical warriors"? Especially since they note the technology. Wouldn't they assume, especially since they live in a world not known for magic, that it's just some really high tech alien stuff?

    This has as much correlation as, "@Descent starts with a D. I bet she likes tuna!"*
    *caffeinated_wench does not claim to know whether or not Descent likes tuna

    Marina throughout the fic: GUYS DON'T LET THEM KNOW WE'RE FROM A DIFFERENT WORLD!
    Marina in this chapter: Yeah, we're magical warriors.
    You know, for a group on a mission to destroy The Darknessā„¢ this is a huge blunder. I'm not saying them keeping universe-affecting secrets from the rest of the universe is a particularly smart move but this is particularly careless. Keep in mind, Mickey chose them for this, and it doesn't seem like it was for any particular skills. Scratch that -- it wasn't for any particular skills at all. They just happen to be close friends (and adoptive daughter) of the king.

    So Marina, you've never read about platypuses before? But how will you correct everyone on the proper plural form?
    Technically, it should be platypodes. The more you know!

    Something something beige prose something something.

    Y'know, most people would say "It feels real!" They don't talk like robots.

    You guys showing up in their backyard kinda ruins the fact that your whole mission here is supposed to be secret, isn't it?

    Seriously, where are you getting that magic part from?

    ...Goofy, she still does that. :crash:

    "No, dear. I'm an almost-princess. There's a huge difference."

    1. Why does Marina get to suggest it?
    2. It's my job to point out what a bad idea that was.

    I can only ho-- wait...
    Which Renaissance, Marina? If you mean the Italian Renaissance, then you're off the mark.
    During the Italian Renaissance, while there were witch hunts they were few and far in-between and often in places where the Renaissance didn't reach. The attitudes held during this time would lead to less trials and regarding witchcraft in a different, non-threatening light. It was only as it neared the 16th century that they became more frequent.
    Different story if it's the English Renaissance.

    Point is, if she's going to be banal about the differences between different magics then wouldn't she avoid making the mistake of just saying "Renaissance" if she means a specific one? It's too common of a mistake for someone as allegedly well-read and nitpicky as Marina. If she did mean the Italian Renaissance, I've got bad news for her (provided this is accurate).

    Why not? If they're being controlled by someone else, it should be easy.

    Copied that right off the Wikipedia page, didn't you?
    No, really.

    Our Writing Clings to Awfulness

    ...Or that.

    Hey, @Cyan. Your favorite part's coming up.

    She reads a lot, guys.

    "Sorry, I meant granny!"

    How very anime and "kind" of you, Marina.

    You're right. Drakken is ridiculous as dicks.

    I'mma nitpick and say that's a major assumption, and you guys don't really drop a lot of info on the Nightmares until the Arendelle Arc, at the latest. Besides, Nightmares haven't been a problem for quite a while now. For all you guys know, they've become more intelligent, especially with someone organizing them.

    Will they get there as fast as possible? Will we ever learn why they're called 'Team Possible'? What are Drakken and Doofenshmirtz planning? Will you even care?

    Find out next time on Faithful Hearts Z!
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2017
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  8. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    That's fine. I was never looking forward to the Kim Possible and Duckberg arcs. (Easily the worst parts of this fic.:crash:)
     
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  9. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    I'm already starting to feel it. :crash:
    Of all the adventures to have, DF chooses the most boring to start us off with. (Granted, they're all boring, but really? This is filler level.)
     
  10. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    BTW platypodes aren't the only mammals to lay eggs. Echidnas do that too.
     
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  11. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    You dare question the knowledge of the conscience?!
    I embarrassingly forgot that part. :oops:
    In other words, Jiminy/DF didn't even copy the playpus page accurately.
     
  12. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    Okay guys, this one I actually took the time to read first rather than read as I go. Why? Because I have no sense of self-preservation when it comes to my sanity.

    CHAPTER 15: Bad Ideas Crazy Ideas

    Last time, on Faithful Hearts Z! After an embarrassing teleportation mishap, Marina and the boys were discovered by the inventive Phineas and Ferb. Fleeing when the opportunity revealed itself before they could do further damage, the gang found their contact -- the top secret Organization Without a Cool Acronym. Now joined by O.W.C.A.'s Agent P and the famous Kim Possible, Marina and friends head to the lair of Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

    What awaits them at
    ...Okay, I know it's a thing in the cartoon that happens, but this is a poor translation of that into writing.

    because DF doesn't want to waste time on anything particularly important.
    Yes, if you're reading the fic you would likely know who they are but it's a personal peeve of mine so you're damn right I'm gonna nitpick!

    Marina, you just met him. Giving him a nickname when you don't know him is extremely rude. Were you not raised in a royal court?

    So you guys just ran in here without doing any sort of recon first? And some of you are the top agents in whatever. Is Marina like a human version of the Orb of Confusion where she makes everyone in the immediate vicinity dumb as a rock?

    Thank you for giving us this very important information. I hope everyone is beginning to see the problem of having such a large cast?

    Isn't the general rule not to make precise measurements for something like this? How would Donald know he could move exactly five feet?

    :story:
    10/10, great escape attempt

    Because hair gel is only for women, right?

    Thanks, Shitlock, for repeating what they just said. Bonus points for it being extremely obvious anyway.

    "Which I didn't know existed until an hour ago for some reason. You'd think for someone who loves knowing facts to rub in people's faces I would know that."

    Beaten by teenage girl < beaten by platypus? Something doesn't look right...

    Thank you for that pointless reference. Bonus points because we don't even see it.

    Yeah, that's why Halloween pranks never scare children anymore. Oh wait...
    Take your "mass marketing" bullshit somewhere else.

    What kind of movies are you even talking abo--

    Oh. Well aren't you edgy, Marina, for thinking old movies aren't scary. I'm surprised Marina didn't go into Halloween's history.
    lol no I'm not doing an info dump this time

    You misspelled "stupidest," Donald.

    Marina, Marina, Marina. You should know the name!
    Also, you have no wit. ....Neither do I, but fuq u.

    1. You can't secretly melt something.
    2. That is going to get painful. By all means, do continue.

    You and me both.
     
  13. Descent

    Descent Well-Known Member

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    Is that why Wal-Mart of all places sells this at Halloween?
    [​IMG]
     
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  14. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    Kid friendly gorn. I wonder if Marina and Co. will visit a movie like Barefoot Gen or Watership Down (or at least the Black Cauldron) next?
     
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  15. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    Being stuck at home with a stomach bug leaves you with a lot of free time. Naturally I am going to spend that time by reading bad fanfiction.

    I doubt Marina has ever ventured outside of the kids' section for Halloween stuff.

    Onward to stupidity!

    Maybe do something about it, if he's so incompetent?
    ...Heh heh, Dr. D.
    was immediately crushed.

    So you knew but didn't? Well, whatever, you've been pretty useless so far.

    Might want to dumb it down a smidge more, then. It's probably too complicated for this lot of genius adventurers.

    But not everyone will have bad dreams, you know. Why not just induce nightmares in people to create... er... Nightmares?

    How is that worse than getting beaten by a pet platypus?

    Anyone with a grasp of the German language could probably point out what may be off about this better than I. To keep things simple, obvious online translator is obvious.

    Please do. Maybe they'll destroy you all and spare us from the rest of this fic.

    I'm going to assume Marina is in the attire we all know and love. In which case, allow me to remind you that Marina -- who wants to be an adventurer/explorer and has supposedly read up on the subject -- isn't wearing even close to the proper attire for fighting Nightmares. She didn't know they would be there at the ball, but this is a different story. They knew there was a Nightmare presence.

    Why is she on this adventure again?

    For someone who bitches about revealing themselves to the other worlds, she has no qualms about revealing tidbits of info that might help the enemy.

    Here we go.

    Either Von Drake's radar looks remarkably like the remote, or nobody is smart enough to recognize when something obviously isn't their own invention.

    Except one thing... They could potentially create more nightmares to deal with. Maybe not on the same scale as the city, but more Nightmares is something you're supposed to avoid as much as possible? Also, maybe I read over it, but did it even mention giving everyone bad dreams?

    ...Okay, it says that it'll make people dream so more Nightmares can be created, but it doesn't sound too specific?

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Wait you're serious

    something something existence is supposed to be top secret

    I could write something dirty here, but I won't.

    Bit lackluster, but it's done.
     
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  16. Pibot

    Pibot The autist formerly known as Pikonic

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    I remember that drawing, it was me who came up with Busty, the sexual alien bear lady.
    Edit: found her bio on KF, I wrote this about 3 years ago...

    Introducing Bethany "Busty" Smith
    Age:27
    Occupation: Girlwith huge cans, bountyhunter, former pirate
    Special weapon: Pistol and rapier
    Special powers: none
    Busty has known Silver since they were small children up in [wherever Silver grew up]. Like Silver she was a pirate, sailing the seas and gathering all the booty (teehee) she could get her pretty little hands on. Theft, kidnapping, murder; all in a days work for Busty. She was captured by the Royal Kingdom and sentenced to death for her crimes. She was released on the condition she would help bring in Silver, her lifelong friend.Busty has known Silver since they were small children up in [wherever Silver grew up]. Like Silver she was a pirate, sailing the seas and gathering all the booty (teehee) she could get her pretty little hands on. Theft, kidnapping, murder; all in a days work for Busty. She was captured by the Royal Kingdom and sentenced to death for her crimes. She was released on the condition she would help bring in Silver, her lifelong friend.
    This was years ago, and nobody told her Silver received a pardon. After banging every man who had any idea where Silver was reunited with her old friend. She was disgusted by how fat he got and he was enamored by her huge tits beauty. She's not dumb, she's stringing Silver along and helping him on his quest to defeat the nightmares for now. Unlike Marina she works hard, isn't afraid of the dark, and doesn't complain about trivial shit.
    Marina hates Busty for obvious reasons, she's been getting more attention from Silver as of late. For Bustys plan to be fulfilled, the pesky bitch Marina has to go. The easiest way to do that, convince the love struck Silver Marina needs to walk the plank.

    I found the drawing too, but I think @Cyan should post it because I didn't make it, they did.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2017
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  17. c-no

    c-no Dead Meme Internet Man

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    Yeah, that was the one of the OC's I remembered. I did make up an autistic story how she, Chad Thundercock, and another OC would arrest John Silver. It involved cucking John Silver via Busty and Chad and then knocking out him out while also knocking out Marina.

    Edit: Found said autistic story. Here it is for any that want to see the tism using said OC's.

    Let me try writing a short excerpt:

    Busty liked Chad Thundercock since he was a cool guy. Knowing that he had the goal to hunt Silver down as per the Space Navy law, she too needed to get Silver and so she hatched a plan. Since Silver liked her due to boob size she decided to use her "virginity" to lure him out into a secluded space. As she and Chad waited, they got some desire to have sex. And so the two had nasty rocking sex. Marina saw from a distance, she ran off to tell Silver that she isn't a virgin. Believing Marina is jealous. Silver refuses and decides to meet with Busty in the cargo bay area of the ship. As Chad and Busty finished their rocking nasty sex, Aero told them to get ready in half an hour as John was coming. Getting dressed, the three got into places. As Silver came in Busty told Silver she was near some crates. Little did anyone know, Marina followed secretly with her sword, knowing about a trap. What she didn't know was that Chad was something of a technical genius thanks to his time in the space army and space navy. As such, Chad' knocked Marina out with a silent dart. From there, Chad handcuffed Marina and kept her in restraint. As John walked to where he assumed Busty was, he set off a trap. A mixture of EMP and knockout gas had taken down the cyborg bear pirate man alien. From there, Chad, Busty, and Aero restrained the two just as Marina woke up. Marina was angry since she thought the nightmares will win. What she didn't know is that Chad's superiors have been fighting them, collecting data on the creatures. Although Marina said that King Mickey would protect Silver, Silver can not be pardoned for one horrendous crime. When Silver went to cause trouble within the galaxy Chad lived in, Silver managed to some how cause not only vandalism to a colony along with murder but Silver also managed to anger a foreign diplomat from another galaxy, one that had great power as a galactic empire. As such Silver can't be pardoned by the king of Disney world. Not when he angers a Federation and a galactic Empire. And so Silver was sent to the galactic empire where he received harsh but just sentences. Marina sought to wage a war against the trio that not even her friends would want in, especially since it would anger Chad's government. The Space Navy Chad was a part of became a heroic organization after killing every single Nightmare . In the end Chad, Aero, and Busty lived happily ever after, doing what ever they pleased within the bounds of the law.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2017
  18. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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  19. caffeinated_wench

    caffeinated_wench do you is fucking

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    Jumping right into Chapter 17, and without any booze because I hate myself.

    CHAPTER 17: First Job

    I think a part of me just died from that paragraph.
    ...Nope, just gas. Carry on.

    "I could sense it because I am a robot and not a Nightmare at all."
    Seriously, the dialogue implies that this should have more emotion, but the punctuation makes that... uh... less the case. Also, sensing is so not subtle.

    On one hand, nothing said indicated that. On the other, given Silver's track record and the fact that they really shouldn't be trusting him...

    Remember that these two are supposed to be love interests to one another yet here (and in a few other places, I believe) Silver's dialogue comes off as a parent chiding a petulant child. Das creepy.

    Our heroine, ladies and gents.

    She even needs to be parented by a bug. Good lord.
    Also, why is Donald the most responsible one here?

    Couldn't have anything to do with Doofenshmirtz being his arch-nemesis.

    You mean the platypus you will likely never ever see again, Chip?

    I didn't know the state of Nevada was another world. You Nevadans got some 'splainin' to do!

    I imagine that's how most people react whenever Marina opens her mouth.

    Marina's hands are bells?

    *gigglesnort* I, ahem, take it DF didn't research that phrase. (It's worded incorrectly anyway.)
    wazoo is slang for anus

    Priorities. Why was she sent again?

    Nevermind. I think I see why.

    Remember how they were supposed to have learned how to do some JOLLY COOPERATION? Good to see the Hundred Acre Wood arc was completely useless.

    Considering Mickey sent Marina Seadrift on this mission, somehow I highly doubt he has any business giving weapons to children.
    I'm pretty sure she's making a reference to Quack Pack, but my point still stands. Mickey Mouse, king of the Magic Kingdom, is giving magical weapons to youngins.

    Honestly? Donald has a right to be pissed, and it's not because of bias I say this. Typically, he's his nephews' legal guardian and one of their parental figures (usually the main one). The boys are his responsibility and his best friend just gave them weapons behind his back and is allowing these novices to fight. Of course Donald would be worried here! I'd be more concerned if he was okay with this.

    Again, Donald's right. Everyone makes it a point of how dangerous Nightmares are but are okay with sending kids to fight them. They're not little, but they're still kids and they're still Donald's nephews. Fuck off, you red-nosed rat.

    "That's why I picked sitting out in the open so everyone could see me writing instead of someplace actually quiet!"

    And you chipmunks are still assholes.

    Are we sure she's 32?

    He sent Marina with you.

    Mickey isn't even telling him this himself? And either I'm reading this wrong or Mickey is taking these three adolescents with no combat experience and who are the nephews of his supposed best friend on a trip without consulting Donald about it. But we're supposed to think this is heartwarming and that Donald is wrong for being pissed?

    Gross. He goes back and forth between treating her like a child, menacing her, and hitting on her.

    She has to be coerced to apologize, just like a child would. Also just like a child, there's no real indication that she understood why her bitchy behavior or her childish tantrums are wrong. She's aware she has a problem, but before the story even starts she hasn't seen a need to change it?
    Also "every once in a while." Keep telling yourself that.

    Gasp! Who would have thought that you would have to do work on a ship after being told before you set sail that you would have to do your part?!

    I can see why they're the perfect couple.

    Somehow I doubt those are the easy jobs, since part of their job entails not fucking up or else everyone's dead. Or just lost in the Etherium. Either works. Pretty sure she'd be whining if she got those anyway.

    A charming character, that Marina.
     
  20. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    That part where she just starts talking like Mickey with the "Hot diggity dog" shit is just so out of nowhere and incredibly jarring. It's like DF decided out of nowhere that it should be a character trait that Marina picked up some speech habits from Mickey (since he raised her and all) and then forgot about it entirely.

    Also I think swabbing the deck would probably be the most chill job on the ship. It's so easy to daydream while mopping.