Chris Trolling Plans

I would use a time machine to go back to the sonic match and win ssweepstakes and overwrite all the games he gets with a looped recording of JULAY!!

 

Push him into a pond and hope he doesn't instantly sink.

 

Pay ten old men to walk into his house and pretend to be Bob.

 

I'll dress up as classic Chris and tell him that his past is catching up with him

 

He wouldn't recognize Bob's face because he is autistic and can't feel love or even basic emotions. He would think he had ten parents because he's that retarded and he never even paid enough attention to realise he had two parents, anyway. He only cried when Bob died to manipulate us. People are just hollow shells of flesh to him that he, largely, can't fuck without money being involved in some way. Fuck Chris. I fucking hate him. I hope he dies of AIDS in a housefire and the "niggos" bang his charred corpse as he exits this world.

It makes me so fucking ANGRY that Chris is allowed to live in this goddamned planet. I can't even think straight for the incessant ire that resonates within my being every time I psychically feel Chris respiring the same air you or I breathe.

I also want to use this venue to vent how utterly fucking INCENSED I am that I have been, to this day, denied the audio of Chris crying at Bob's death. It's fucking BULLSHIT that I (for totally non-sexual purposes) cannot listen to Chris feigning grief at the loss of his father. It absolutely would not lead me to an earth shattering orgasm to at least imagine Chris experienced the uttermost despair possible for most people, but I still feel I would get some closure on the matter to at least longingly listen to the recording.

FUCK YOU.

 

I want to convince Chris to talk to Mafioso's into taking a loan and when he can't pay it they break his kneecaps.

Chris obviously deserves it anyways. He made Sonichu and that's as bad as Hitler's Mein Kampf

 

Hey, I'm sorry I ranted earlier. I love you guys and I would never lose my patience on purpose. BUt you just...you just fucking MAKE ME angry. I don't WANT to hit you. But you don't give me any fucking choice!

 

he's so trollin stupid what the...hells were you thinkin' with that damn pickle suit?

 

I honestly deserved it. I was asking it for it probably.

 

You're all way too elaborate. I'm just going to kick him in the balls.