Legal Jail of Fail

Funny about that......

I would be incredibly dubious of anyone claiming to be an attorney who is on KF. Either they're lying, or they were the ones who took the bar drunk and barely passed.

 

It's a "Chris Chan" level of stupid to think throwing money at a lawyer means "and I just won" a court case.

Especially when said money is savings.

 

Then again, the world of CWC needs someone with vaguely authoritative bearing to say "No, Chris is not going to get hanged by the neck until dead for incest."

 

I remember people joking about Chris "getting the chair" after the Snyder incident.

(how many took that seriously?)

 

True. Sometimes I wonder if KF is as naive and easily-manipulated as Chris is.

 

Chris has already been locked up for almost a year.

 

It's both unexpected yet expected that Chris would eventually "heal" Barb.

 

Honestly, one of the most amazing things about Chris is how well he can dodge real repercussions of his actions. If there was ever something that might make me believe in a deity, it would be how Chris was able to spend almost 40 years dodging any real consequences for....... anything.

 

There still has been some big changes though. "Classic Chris" is gone.

What Chris wanted out of life was to derp around playing vidya until "Lovely Weather" - an Aryan supermodel - just approaches him out of nowhere one day as he hangs out at McDonald's. Meanwhile he dreamed of "Sonichu" becoming a famous franchise, with the comics "paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics". And eventually, the "basically promised" - by God AND The Bear - daughter "Crystal" would be "given the birth" by "Lovely Weather" and Chris.

But then Chris did a hooker, the "Idea Guys" came along and "Sonichu" lore was turned into a spaghetti spill, Chris got delusions of godhood, and he committed incest "Soul Bonded" with his elderly mother. Now he's in the Jail of Fail, the comfy life he knew gone.

"... and I just won!" - CWC

 

The lore was a spaghetti spill before the Idea Guys, they made it into a dumpster fire.

 

Justice system sure does take it’s sweet time.

 

I maintain my belief that this is actually D. Heezy's doing, and it's probably for a couple of reasons:

1. He needs all the time he can get to put together anything resembling a defense, and he is prepping a Hail Mary: trying to convince the jury that this happened because of troll influence and Chris is too crazy to really be in control of his actions.
2. He knows he can't outright win this. He is trying to have Chris spend as much time in jail as possible so that he can get the sentence reduced when this goes to a plea bargain, as sometimes time already served will count towards your sentence.

Both of these are massive long-shots, but it may be all Heilberg has.

 

I propose a third option. Heezy knows chris is a danger to himself and everyone around him and jail is the safest place for him to be.

I am also curious if chris' tugboat has been revoked by now.

 

I think Chris' "tugboat is torpedoed" for him being locked up only if he's convicted and sent to prison.

 

Yeah they do have to find him guilty before taking away the tugboat I think.

 

IIRC he needs to be found guilty and sentenced to a certain amount of time in prison to lose his disability
it seems that the most likely outcome for the criminal case is that Chris will either plead guilty or the judge (it's a bench trial) will rule that Chris is guilty and then sentence him to a year in jail (which he already served)
then there's the mental health aspect, and the state is responsible for his housing for 30 days when he gets released from jail

so yeah, the most likely outcome is that Chris either pleads or is found guilty, served his time already, has to deal with the mental health aspect of his case, then he moves into public housing and lives off a tugboat

however, there are multiple ways he could screw it all up

 

If he is found guilty then any payments made to chris have to be paid back to the time his incarceration was a full calenders month.

 

Honestly, I hope Chris gets some sort of case worker or something to help transition him back to the outside if/when he gets out of prison because applying for a tugboat is hard since there is a lot of paperwork to fill out (does Chris even still have his autism papers and medical records? I suppose the SSA can do an evaluation on him, but again, that still takes effort) and it has been known even quadriplegics have been rejected the first round. He might have to get a lawyer to get his tugboat back.