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Legal Jail of Fail

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by ToroidalBoat, Aug 5, 2021.

  1. Very Honest Content

    Very Honest Content Formerly a niggo (???) Staff Member Moderator

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    It's kind of true, if you examine all the great candidates for "Replacement equivalent CWC" born 1983 and later, they're all twitter addicts and they have very little creative output, whether that's due to low functioning creativity, maybe because they were raised in a different pop culture era that emphasized being perfect just the way you are compared to Chris' menu of pop culture messaging of you can be the very best if you try hard and do the right thing, or exactly why they're so fallow with their autistic artistic outputs by comparison to very lazy Chris-chan, I'm not certain, but there's a definite pattern of devolution in the ones following in his footsteps of online infamy. The next generational perfect storm maybe needs a different absentee parent scheme, since Borb was a unique silent/boomer generational pairing, new replacement lolcows are going to be mined from a potential GenX/Millennial shitty parenting duo, which changes the emphasis on development of their kids significantly is the most likely block in the way.
     
  2. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    There isn't going to be a "next Chris Chan". If anyone finds a new way push the boundaries of acceptable social behavior to the point their lives become thoroughly documented, then it will be because they stand on their own enough as a spectacle that most people won't think to compare the two.
     
  3. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    In Chris's defense, Jesus apparently didn't do jack shit with his life for 18 years either.

    *fedora tipping intensifies*
     
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  4. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    To fill in the "missing gap", there's the claim in New Age - something CWC really got into - that Christ somehow travelled to India to learn from gurus about Hindu stuff (or something like that), during the "missing years". This is despite the only scripture Christ referring to being the Old Testament, and the only religious practices Christ observed were Jewish.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2021
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  5. Congratulations

    Congratulations You like? Staff Member Moderator

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    What about that time he was in America?
     
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  6. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    The LDS or "Mormon" church claims that Christ visited the Americas after the resurrection.

    They also believe the Trinity lives on another planet, and that there'll be polygamy in the highest heaven. What if Chris heard of that?
     
  7. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    Instead of the "god of the gaps" fallacy, we have a "gap of the god" one.

    *MAXIMUM FEDORA TIPPING*
     
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  8. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Yet another letter from the Jail of Fail.

    More cult-y and New Age-y rambling ahoy.

    (it's on KF and should be on CWCki soon)
     
  9. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    Guess he's got nothing better to do than respond to weens who write him letters.
     
  10. Congratulations

    Congratulations You like? Staff Member Moderator

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    He's been reading the Bible and Quran almost exclusively for months. He probably really does have nothing else to do with his time.
     
  11. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    When you are incarcerated you avenues for entertainment are limited. I am assuming chris has no interaction with the other inmates, so whatever keeps him from bothering staff works for him.
     
  12. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    There’s almost certainly a crappy jail library. If he’s only reading the Bible, it’s by choice.
     
  13. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Any other books there are likely just boring grown-up novels with no pictures that are set in the mundane modern world.

    I doubt there's Goosebumps there.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2021
  14. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    I would guess jails tend to have some reading materials appropriate for inmates with Chris's reading level, but I don't really know if that's true.
     
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  15. Congratulations

    Congratulations You like? Staff Member Moderator

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    I'd imagine most books in a prison library would be educational or skills based. Prison can often be an inmates first real chance at learning a skill that could make them employable after all (cooking, manufacturing, engineering etc)
     
  16. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    As badly written and nonsensical as the Bible is, it is sadly one of the better books in the jail library. When I was there, all the other books there made Sonichu look like Shakespeare. Yes, he's reading the Bible by choice, but it's probably the better choice.

    I haven't been to prison, but that wasn't the case in jail. The American prison-industrial complex isn't a system built on rehabilitation. It mainly exists to exploit free (or close to it) labor and take away voting rights from those in low-income neighborhoods (specifically those neighborhoods where the only market of any economic growth is the substance-supply industry).

    I'm sure there are a select few prisons where they actually want prisoners to learn a trade so that they don't come back, but our for-profit prison system thrives on repeat offenders.
     
  17. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    You know, this in mind I'm curious to know how it's going to work out if Chris does go to prison. Are the prisoners forced to work or are they given a bit of shitty incentive? If prison puts Chris to work, will he somehow get a form of work-ethic out of it? How badly can/will he fuck it up? What if he is forced to work but ends up being more trouble than he's worth?
     
  18. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Lately Chris is thinking that "trolls" - "haters to the left" - are the minority.

    If Chris is forced to work in prison, it could make the job at Wendy's look like a vacation in comparison.

    Being forced to work may just teach Chris to despise it.

    Chris thinks he's "Chris Chan Sonichu Night Star Blue Heart Jesus" - and descended from royalty through Anne Boleyn - so being made to work could be a huge insult to his bloated ego.
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2021
  19. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

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    It depends on the state, but yeah, they can make you work in prison and they can pay you next to nothing. You still have expenses and you still have to work to pay them in prison.
    IDK what kind of job someone like Chris would do, maybe washing floors, laundry, or washing dishes, or some other unskilled job.
    IDK what they can do to you if you refuse to work or do such a bad job they have to get someone else to do it, but needless to say it's a prison and things can get very unpleasant very quickly if you have discipline problems. And that's just what the COs can legally do to you. Who knows what your fellow inmates will do to you if you're making things worse for them.

    On the flip side, they do have privileges if you cooperate and make things easier for the prison staff. If you can prove they can trust you with a computer, you could be allowed to use a heavily monitored and censored internet.
    The reason for special privileges is so they can take stuff away from you if you misbehave.
     
  20. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    He will come to despise work. Most people who go into prison know that it's not like a 9-to-5 and that it's legal slavery (but with extra steps). Considering how little Chris knows about work, I think he will believe that prison slave labor is as bad as an actual job.

    I mean, this is a guy who thought mowing the lawn = carrying a fallen war comrade through the desert.....