YouTube 11-18-2018 : Chris is an All-Star ... and Naked

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by Aggressive Bubble Cat, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    So there's new footage on the farms of Chris pissing on his bedroom floor and trying to jack off, if you're into that sort of thing.
     
  2. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    *pushes aside my cereal. i'm suddenly not hungry any more*
     
    Trilby, Sonichu, ToroidalBoat and 4 others like this.
  3. HotaruThodt

    HotaruThodt I Can Feel the Cosmos!

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    At least he's not fingering the unclit?
     
  4. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    ... and there goes lunch.
     
  5. Nobody

    Nobody Shitposter Staff Member

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    I watched the entire thing from start to end. Much like Chris' jelly rolls, there's a lot to unfold here.

    Imagine this oaf initially pissing on the bedroom floor to somehow court you into mating (the old-fashioned "whore's shower"), awkwardly positioning your rear-end upwards for doggy action, and then potshot his half-eaten curly fry into your love hole while screeching "HeY NoW, YER AN ALL STaRrRrR" directly into your ear. The weight of his tube-like torso mashes against your spine like a hay bale on a humid summer day, and you could feel the heavy mixture of fragrances such as Axe, sweat, fresh piss, man ass, and cheap little girl shampoo pouring messily over your back (along with wet clumps of shedded hair). His skin is moist and sticky, his man tits are prodding the backside of your lungs, and his clammy fist is punching against your donut as he attempts to prairie dog a minimally-acceptable semi-erection (for most of the blood above has clotted before it would reach his nethers).

    Within your little farm in China, you could just barely sense a turtle head poking around on your front porch, trying to break into your home through the most unconventional of places (the rain gutters, the water hose spigot, and plainly ramming into the wall). You have officially lost several pounds of water weight from being so uninterestedly drier than the Sahara.

    At around the third or fourth hump, the manchild is already out of breath, then rolls away and howls, "aLL tHaT gliTTers is GOOOOOoOoOoOoOLD". Chris goes AWOL on his mission of invading China, and proceeds to flail, sing, and jack it further with the music, creating a solo broadway musical production on the other side of the bed. You are left there, ass in air... defeated, confused, bewildered, distraught in tears, and absolutely contemplating suicide.

    You realize Barb is sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, appearing like an electrified scarecrow as usual, yet giving you a thousand mile stare as she witnessed her last remaining hopes of continuing the Chandler bloodline sputter onto a cartoon pony pillow. Chris, immediately tuckered out, retreats into fetal position, head resting on said pony pillow, pops a thumb in his mouth, and takes a well deserved nap-nap as his mother crawls in bed to spoon with her baby manboy.

    Needless to say, Chris is a prime candidate for Tinder.
     
  6. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    This is actually poetry.
     
  7. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    This was so gross and disturbing and yet hilarious and great at the same time. So the essence of Chris I suppose.
     
  8. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    Fucking hell man. Bravo.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2019
  9. Trilby

    Trilby Local Nut

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    At least reading this is far better than watching it!
     
  10. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    Remember when people used to ask if Chris was getting better?