Sonichu 10/22/18 - Sonichu #16 (The Awakening of a CPU)

If you guys heard of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, then you might have heard of Jorge Joestar.

Bascially, the premise is about kid detective Joji Joestar setting out on a bizarre quest to solve a murder in Morioh, which slowly turns into a universe hopping adventure after the island begins moving on its own.

And the rest is just crazy shit.

So why am I telling you random nonsense?

Let me introduce to you: Sonichu #16
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-16.49175/

Influenced by Idea Guy (aka Joshua Wise, aka Wiseasshole, aka utter douchebug who deserves to rot in the gates of Hell), Chris has written this epic tale of absolute craziness. So crazy, it makes Jorge Joestar normal...

 

fucking hell. if you ever wanted to see what chris 'phoning it in' looks like in the art dept this is it. In a way I'm glad he didn't waste time drawing for Idea Guy but this is a whole new level of bad terrible. 90% of this comic is sloppily written text, at least.

 

Holy fuck I’m not reading all of that.

 

I skimmed the entire series and here's what I could barely make out:

• Angelica converts her chruch and herself to Satanism, Blake's an extremist, Wild's a meth/weed dealer/drug addict, Bubbles turned herself into a knock-off version of Sonic Boom's Knuckles and identifies herself as a black male, and Punchy got supposedly molestered by Jamsta, got institutionalized, and hates fat people for whatever reason
• For Rosechu, she was actually born male, so Chris more-or-less discrimated/loved or something like that
• Jamsta was in court for molestation, with Tails and Bionic providing evidence. Was delcared not guilty, causing a fucking riot in CWCville
• I think Simonla got killed off for real
• Silvanna got erased from existance by Monika and was reborn somehow
• Bob Chandler, Ted Bundy, and Adolf Hitler are reborn as Sonichus
• Nazis/Russians invade CWCville, shit happens
• Gamindustri plays some huge role
• Chris apparently claims that he stopped aging at 21, converts to Gamindustrism
• Chris goes beyond Ultra Instinct, involves Sonichu Balls, Chaos Emeralds, Mega Evolution, etc.
• Magi-Chan tried to murder some girlfriend of Chris. Chris angrily shouts at him for several pages and then on the drop of a hat is kissing him.
• Sonichu is autistic and wants to have sex with Chris (don't ask me why)

I don't know if I got this all right, but...that's all I could decipher, man...

 

thanks for the play by play i guess

 

Hey thanks for trying to transcribe chris's chicken scratch. Appreciate it.

I'll light a candle for your sanity.

 

I see Chris has discovered bath salts.

 

How did he manage to make his shitty comic even shittier? I just looked at a small portion so far but it looks like one of his new fantasies is actual sex with Sonichu? Ok I guess that’s actually only mildly bizarre as far as Chris’s bizarre shit goes.

 

I thought, because 16 was inspired by Idea Guy, that Sonichu 16 was no longer "Canon" or whatever?

 

You know Chris, everything he believes in is real to him. And made things worse by Ikea Guy.

 

Right, but chris has had retcons and revisions before so... he can just wave this away.

Why he'd even upload it if it displeases him is a question I can't answer.

 

Don't think to hard about it, the brain tumor isn't worth the effort.

 

You're right. You may have just saved me from serious mental trauma.

 

I read the whole thing...
Here's what I have to say:

Spoiler: Sonichu 16 Book Report

· No cover, simply a blank page with the title and a trigger warning disclaimer

· The good old copyright page is here again only it has a rambling and lengthy selection dedicated to saying how all the stuff in the comic happened but also didn’t? Whatever the deal may be Chris is seemly trying to justify in a backward legal since this monstrosity as parody despite it still containing copyrighted characters. It’s the same old Chris not understanding the law only muddled by the dissolution that his comic books are real.

· After another trigger warning page, we get into the book proper and yes, I do mean a book, it’s 83 pages of utter nonsense broken up with even more nonsensical drawings. In any case, right off the bat we have an uncolored page with text that is completely hand written, this is how most of the comic is save for a few pages where Chris did any sort of coloring. It all feels really beta, and this is probably because Chris didn’t want to make any of this but as we all know was manipulated into doing so.

· “Story” summary: A Russian soldier/merc named John texts real life Chris and asks him about his Dreamcast telling him he can gain the power to teleport for real to Cwcvill. Chris leaves it on for 24 hours and then touches it presumably getting third degree burns from processers head generated over an entire day of use. Somehow this opens his third eye and gives him super powers/ a videogame council possesses him/ he becomes schizophrenic. The next part is hard to parse but from what I could glean there’s a number of wars between various groups in different “timelines” yet somehow, they are all part of the same timeline, its really hard to say. There’s a lot of stuff that’s here, most of it appears to be from the idea guys but there are moments when Chris’ voice comes through. I won’t touch on everything, most of it’s what you would expect but one in particularly stands out:

· Rosechu’s gender: This is perhaps the most enlightening part of the comic in terms of Chris psyche or at least his feelings on gender. So Rosechu deal is that she’s actually born male, so this really fucks with Chris because he created Rosechu to be a female archetype and I think Chris used this character in his life to understand in his own primitive way what a woman is. By destroying this Chris is conflicted because he can only conceptualize men as hateful women stealers and he no longer has a bases for what women. We see this with Chris denial and his attempts to “change history” and furthermore with his insistence that she had one of those magical gender changing surgeries which totally make you biologically identical to the opposite sex complete with a working cervix (though this could just be a case where Chris can’t accept change, more likely it’s both). Another interesting thing to note is that he draws crying Chris eye’s and writes that he’s feeling heavy hearted; perhaps this is because of his autism in that he isn’t able to understand or express emotions except in the most explicit of ways. Chris is particularly off put by Rosechu having a penis, again this is a case where Chris shows his hatred for men focused in the explicit physical form of the penis an overt symbol of manhood and moreover a lack of female genitalia which Chris views not chiefly as a symbol of womanhood but rather one of lust and desire and sexual fulfillment. All of this shows a hypocrisy in how Chris understand gender, which isn’t all that surprising. As we all know, he himself identifies as female, not out of a genuine belief, although he has likely induced this notion, but rather to reap the rewards of a non-male infested sexual market. If Chris truly believes that gender is fluid, he would have no problem with Rosechu being a born male but clearly he does so he must still hold onto the fact that gender is unchangeable. This can mean one of two things: Chris’ identity change is merely and act to get women to have sex with him or Chris has convinced himself despite all the evidence of the contrary that he has always been a woman; in all likelihood one lead into the other yet I feel he’s reverting back into acting like a dude recently, maybe pretending to be a girl is too hard of work for him or maybe something else. Sorry for the rant over two pages of an autistic manifesto; what am I even doing?

· Back to the “story”. Rosechu is upset Chris tried to cover up her backstory, Chris does some bullshit and makes more useless characters. For some reason Chris goes on a RP date with some anime chick, he jumps straight into describing how they’d have sex. The date starts over, Chris has no real interests in anything besides children’s books and cartoons, defaults to whining about how he can’t get a job. Atlas Shrugged isn’t a good example of a sophisticated novel. Another war starts and a lot of Cwcvill is destroyed, he notes that Son-Chu is alive which I don’t think is the case anymore given Chris’ recent car troubles. Nazis takeover half of Cwcvill another Chris OC is introduced, presumably based off of his Skylander’s ™ character who is literally retarded. Simonla dies, I think, the page cuts off. Chris abandons religion but still believes in God and Jesus because hay free characters why not; he now practices the religion of video games with bears a striking resemblance to the final fantasy house, who knows, maybe that’s where the idea guys got the idea. Chris throws in some dumb, zealot ramblings. Sonichus are reincarnated if they die so there are no consequences, nothing matters why even have conflict? Chris kills more Nazis with deus ex machina powers yet still the Nazis still control half of Cwcvill. Chris gets an MLP character to do his job for him. The remaining Nazis turn into fur fags so a fate worst then death. Chris gets distracted by Pokémon facts, clams to have stopped ageing at 21 in all worlds, yah. Chris t-poses and turns another version of himself into a brony, it goes off to kill yet more Nazis. John and Chris (?) and some other people break into a death camp to save some Sonichus all of whom are naked and some of which are pregnant; there’s a fetish here I know it. The scene suddenly shifts to California in the real world, whatever that means, where an unnamed girl and the notorious serial killer Ted Bundy meet Chris’ father, Bob. Bob reveals he was reborn after he died in 2011 and with that Bob and Ted somehow travel to Cwcvill. Bob looks like a checkerboard in Sonichu form. In an actually kind of a heartwarming scene Bob reconnects with Chirs’ sonichu world perhaps a wish fulfillment on Chris’ part for his dad to acknowledge and appreciate his art or perhaps it’s a representation of how Chris misses his father. This brief respite from the madness is down played, however, by the fact that a cold-blooded murder is in the same room with a family of copyright infringed characters and real person who passed away seven years ago. Hitler turns into a sonichu. Chris rewrites history again even though he said he wouldn’t do that. Some bullshit happens with reality tears, Chris turns into another Mary Sue. Chris blames Magichan for everything even though it really Chris’ fault, for five full pages of text. After all that shit Chris short circuits and kisses Magichan then professes his bisexuality. Sonichus a mall shooter, what? He’s also autistic, I can see that. Chris clams to have not been brainwashed, he is clearly brainwashed. He admits to sleeping in his own urine and cites this as embracing his Sonichu side. Sonichu has a painful expression while surrounded by Chris nonsense, he’s perhaps the most self-aware character yet. Chris kisses sonichu, OH FUCK GOD DAMNIT CHRIS! You have to wonder how complicit Chris is in all of this, suraly he could have not written these parts of at least— wait what? “I promise I will have sex with you later…”

· So incest… How did we get here? An autistic kid who never took blow for anything never was told he had to grow up, who was never told to respect others made a comic about things he loved, video games. Chris shoves his hand up sonichu’s ass; what more can be said.

· The comic continues seemly after idea guy was exposed, Chris take no time, however, to affirm his continual detachment from reality. So everything here is cannon. Chris ends this with some nonsensical set up for a future plotline. Oh, and as for Commodore, the company, they declared bankruptcy in 1994 and were dissolved, so Chris, there won’t be a future Commodore computer inhabited by the spirit of a goddess.

· I was going to analyses this mess, but I don’t think there’s much here except the idea guys were really bad and the greatest enemy in Chris’ life is himself. Also, Chris really shitty at drawing swastikas.

TL;DR:

 

Gods speed you crazy bastard.

 

Anyone else miss Classic Chris and Classic Sonichu?

 

back when chris was just a sad manchild who hated being called gay and his only ambitions were landing a girlfriend and making Sonichu a franchise? yeah. I miss that.

 

I miss Classic Sonichu.

 

If only Barb hadn't told him "no more sub episodes."