Twitter 1/11/2019 Chris Reports on his Physical Health

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by One Too Many, Jan 13, 2019.

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  1. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    Recently Chris has posted some health information with the intention to get into shape. Bare in mind Chris could easily have offset his scale intentionally or not.

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    His BMI is on the cusp of obesity with 30 being the low number in the range. His body fat... that number is very high, there's a good chance he fucked it up. For the men 20-39 obesity starts at 25% body fat, somehow I think Chris isn't that out of shape.

    *Edit* I think the 45.3% body fat is proof that Chris fudged his weight as % fat is calculated with measurements of the wrist, waist, hip, and sometimes the neck along with height and weight and gender. Chris probably used the female equation which would generally increase the % fat as women have a higher % fat due to anatomical differences, furthermore, reducing his weight but not his measurements would result in a very high number.

    Latter that day while stalking a MLP fan Chris claims he plans on eating only two meals a day

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    Cutting out entire meals isn't the best thing to do to stay healthy It'll just make you more hungry and deprive you energy and that's not even considering what you're eating for meals; Chris probably doesn't have the healthiest diet and I doubt he has the self-control in the first place to even eat three real meals a day as it is.

    Chris posts a picture of himself

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    Red eyes:
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    He also got a blood pressure check at Wal-Mart and well...

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    The blood sugar levels look normal as far as I can see (under 200 total cholesterol is desirable) so I guess Chris' blood isn't currently maple syrup, his blood pressure on the other hand is not so hot. His systolic pressure, the high number, is slightly elevated and his diastolic pressure, the low number, is entering the first stage of hypertension.

    Overall, Chris isn't in the best shape (yah no shit) and it doesn't look like he's got a realistic plan to improve himself, that said he is making an effort but if the past is anything to go by he doesn't have a chance.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2019
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  2. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    This dude has zero muscle. Honestly the vitals aren’t as bad as I’d have expected. If that’s a fasting glucose level it’s pretty low, like abnormally low especially considering Chris’s diet. The Cholesterol as well. His body fat % is pretty frightening but not surprising.
     
  3. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    So almost half of Chris' body is lard?

    what a shocker
     
  4. Very Honest Content

    Very Honest Content Formerly a niggo (???) Staff Member

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    Over the hill and fat.

    A bad combination in any saga...
     
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  5. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    An ex-marine taught me that 3 workouts a week is just to maintain muscle while you need 4 to build. I can't see chris maintaining that kind of dedication much less do real workouts, not do a 5mph old-lady-walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes and call it a day' kind of 'workout.'
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2019
  6. Fauna Fox

    Fauna Fox Mainstream 2010s Nicktoon Furry Waifu

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    Personally, I thought his fat % would be higher.
    45 is still not a good number for this kind of thing, though.
     
  7. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    Getting results from "Wally World" need to be taken with a grain of salt. Depending on the level of competence of the person administering the test, the results can be greatly skewed.

    Anyplace that screwes over employees like Wal-Mart is not the place to have your health screened.
     
  8. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    Chris is actually astonishingly healthy when you consider his lifestyle.
     
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  9. Fauna Fox

    Fauna Fox Mainstream 2010s Nicktoon Furry Waifu

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    You mean being surrounded by both figurative and literal shit?
     
  10. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    That and the frequent trips to McDonald's and the fact he considers standing up exercise.
     
  11. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    FIFY
     
  12. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    WAIT, Wait, wait!
    Chris considers chicken strips, apple slices, yoghurt and sweet tea to "make a good lunch or a snack"?
     
  13. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    Remember back to the Kacey calls Chris is pretty much retarded when it comes to nutrition...ok Chris is retarded when it comes to most things but nutrition especially.
     
  14. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    Chris isn't doing much to dispel the stereotype that Americans are fast food junkies...
     
  15. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    BUT HOW is this in any way a palatable combination? Or a snack portion? One of these is a snack, all of these together is a damn meal (a shitty WTF-worthy one but a meal)
     
  16. Nobody

    Nobody Shitposter Staff Member

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    Given our knowledge on Chris’ daily lifestyle and the Wally World McDoctor diagnosis, I can say with full confidence that Chris will definitely die within our lifetimes.
     
  17. Pibot

    Pibot Not to be confused with PiBot

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    Ok, so:
    1. Eating less meals is bad for you. It’s actually better to eat smaller meals more frequently. By meals, I mean a pack of nuts or a small sandwich. Most people say 6 meals a day but some take it to the extreme and say a meal every hour. As long as the small meals are small and healthy, eating more often keeps blood sugar levels more balanced, reduces hunger pains (that lead to over eating), and speeds up metabolism.
    2. Who tf knows what Chris constitutes as a “moderate meal,” could be a sandwich, could be a large combo from McDonald’s.
    3. Chris clearly didn’t watch Super Size Me, as the documentary went into pretty good detail about how fast food chicken should not be considered healthy. Chris’s brain is very small, and can only process “chicken healthier than beef.”
    4. Chris mentions apple slices, not apples. My bet is Chris is eating apple slices that come pre-cut with that little cup of caramel, which is straight up sugar.
    5. Yogurt is good for you and your gut, go-gurt is sugary yogurt that comes in fun packages for children. It’s not the worst part of Chris’s diet, but it’s not that good.
    6. Sweet tea is absolute garbo. While unsweetened tea is pretty good for you, sweet tea is sugar water with a drop of tea in it. In previous videos Chris is drinking Brisk, which is the latter.
     
  18. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    ^ really good summation Pibot. You remember when McDonalds started ending their Happy Meal commercials by stating a “balanced meal” was processed fried chicken nuggets, Go-gurt and apple slices (no doubt with caramel) in an effort to appease the parents who complained about McDonalds being unhealthy (no shit)? Chris is pretty much the only one dumb enough to fall for that bit of marketing.
     
  19. Fauna Fox

    Fauna Fox Mainstream 2010s Nicktoon Furry Waifu

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    He falls for marketing all the time. I mean, just look at those rants about the "HEX BAWX" in the classic days.
     
  20. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    Chris likely still thinks the SEGA Genesis really does have "blast processing."