Worst/Cringiest Games You've Played

Aquaman: Fight for Atlantis. The camera is a potato and you are limited to two moves: Punch, and Shark. Shark may sound cool, but when you summon it all it does is bump into the enemy, no bite animation or anything. unplayable garbage.

 

The Da Vinci Code game was awful. I don't know what motivated me to buy it, maybe because it was cheap and there were a million used copies for sale. It's a fucking mess. It's like Nancy Drew meets Resident Evil 4. The puzzles were fucking impossible and most of the combat was QTEs. I wound up throwing the game into a campfire.

 

Cardinal Syn - PSX
Biker Mice from Mars - PS2
Resident Evil: Dead Aim - PS2 (And I LOVED Guncon2 games)
Bart vs. the Space Mutants - NES
Excitebike - NES (Well made, solid title TBH, just personally found it too repetitive/boring - probably because I only ever played alone)
(VW Beetle racing on on N64 - can't remember the name and not willing to give the effort to look)

 

Worst game I played is tied between Gothic 3: Forsaken Gods ( a sort of expansion pack that is its own game. Broken as hell due to being outsourced to a third party dev. Only a big fan-patch could fix it) and Ultima 9 ( outside of lore being broken, controls are rather terrible and combat was horrid). Both were shitty entries in the RPG series they came from and I regret wasting time on both of them (in the case of Ultima 9, I regret wasting $2 on that piece of crap).

 

Definitely Sonic '06. I know its cliche, but I'm usually able to play through even the worst of games, and I thought that '06 would be something fun to joke around about playing, so even knowing its reputation, I got a cheap used copy. Its the only game that I've stopped playing due to it giving me a headache, which I didn't know was possible unless it was on the Virtual Boy or something.

 

Another game I didn't mention before was Dragon Ball GT: Final Bout. I've played some shitty fighting games before, but this one is barely functional. The controls all have half-second input delay for God's sake, I really can't believe just how badly they managed to screw this game up.

 

Dick Tracy for the NES.


Where do I begin with describing for what all accounts could be one of the worst dumpster fires of a game for the NES.

- Getting fucked by shooting unarmed baddies.
Now all the guys you fight are bad guys. They are all pieces of shit whose sole purpose is to fuck with you and stop you from getting the clues you need. If you use a gun on an unarmed bad guy, it actually hurts you because Dick has some horseshit moral code.

-Rooftop Snipers
Nothing says fun like driving around in your car and then getting pelted by crack fucking marksman who are on rooftops. To get rid of these pieces of shit, you have to get out of your car and kill these crack marksmen and hope they don't wipe you out. Wasn't a bad idea game wise but they were only there as filler and give the player a cheap death.

-Platforming
You ever have a heavy meal of meat and then need to take a humongous shit? Dick Tracy platform puzzles remind me of that. He constantly misses ledges that should be easily accessable as if he is weighed down by a three pound meat shit.

- Car Chases
Every "case" involves some car crash where you basically have a shoot out on the map. The problem with this is the AI doesn't give a fuck. The AI will crash into you to deal massive damage. The AI also has a ton of health. The AI health wouldn't be a problem except these come near the end of the case and by this point you are beat the fuck up. If you compared this is to Mad Max, it is like they are driving a fully tricked out vehicle and you are driving a goddamn VW Golf.

I could write more but fuck this game.

 

Sounds like it was a personal Vietnam War for you. Perhaps you should write a book about this game.

 

Nah.

 

>"Your knowledge of the land shall be great!"
>asks everyone for infodumps

And there goes one of the most storied and genuinely groundbreaking RPG serieses of all time. Not with a bang, but with an "I'm not entirely sure."

Anyhow. Back on topic. Final Command. What a trashfire.



Look at it. Just... look at it. Graphics trying to pass off "everything is grey or brown" as "gritty and realistic survival horror." Translation ropy as shite. Bugged out the wazoo. Nonsensical plot that makes no sense whatever. Trial and error gameplay. Atari ST User gave is 12% and said, "run screaming from any shop that sells it."

 

I love the Star Fox series. I love Adventures, partly because it was my first game in the series. I love Assault even if it's a bit too short. I even love Zero with its rehashed story and motion controls.
I despise Star Fox Command.

I found the touch screen controls too awkward, the turn-based overworld dull, the actual gameplay repetitive as fuck, and good God the story! Completely ridiculous, overly dramatic, characters acting so out of character it's painful for me to watch, it's way too focused on Fox and Krystal's relationship and there's absolutely no resolution. Nine endings, not one of them is the true ending. This game is why we had to wait 10 years for a new game, and given how Zero was received I fear we may not get another...
===

As for everyone talking about Sonic 06, I played that a few years back with the full knowledge that it was a load of bullshit. I'd tried it out at my friend's one time and he was amused by just how quickly I resorted to exploiting the glitches, adapted to the precise controls and was able to do Wave Ocean's mach-speed section perfectly first time. When I played the game myself, I had a blast with how bad it was. It's almost The Room quality. There were parts where I got sick of how tedious it was, but I encountered few glitches and had seen enough Lets Plays that I could get through the marathon level at the end. So I kinda liked the game, there's some half decent ideas in there but it's just hidden by all the loading screens.

 

There was a period in recent years where I started playing games built on the Source engine, starting with Cry of Fear after I saw Lowtax (and Shmorky) do a playthrough of it for what would eventually become Gaming Garbage. I was mostly fascinated that people still gave a shit about building games based on this ancient engine -- bad ones at that -- and tried out a few of them. Cry of Fear is pretty terrible with its cumbersome inventory, incomprehensible puzzles, tedious platforming, and unbalanced combat, but the one Source game that I played that really stuck out to me was called "The Forgotten Ones".

Basically, in this game you play as someone whose parents were killed during the Holocaust and your goal is to hunt down the Nazi general responsible for it. Basic stuff, really unmentionable at first glance. This game tries to take itself *so* seriously though, because it opens with legitimate footage from concentration camps showing all kinds of horrible atrocities. Now that the game has firmly established that this is supposed to be a real and "gritty" experience, here's a list of ridiculous bullshit the game does to kill the atmosphere:
- Slenderman makes a cameo appearance and has an achievement associated with him.
- There's an easter egg that plays "Who Let The Dogs Out".
- The Nazi general guy is using the Necronomicon to summon zombies.
- There used to be an achievement named after PewDiePie.
- There's a boss you have to kill by dropping a chandelier on him Looney Tunes style.

The whole thing is just a total trainwreck. Good news is it's free on Steam if you want to give it a whirl.

TURNING!

 

That Sabrewulf game for the Zx spectrum is hot infected whale shit

 

YO' BODY, MAH BODY, EVERYBODY MOVE YO' BODY!

 

Although I didn't really dislike characters in the game my biggest reaction is that the game felt so much like it was trying to be current that it feels dated 2 years after its release and will probably be remembered entirely due to embodying the fads of the decade

 

Ah the "Legacy of Goku" series. classic. The sequels were a bit better in terms of gameplay (although Super Saiyan Vegeta could still be killed by fucking wolves, and Piccolo could die via a dinosaur stampede)

The first one was absolute garbage though. At least in the sequels they let you play as other characters, and greatly improved the fighting mechanics

But still, it's probably the least effective way to convey a story like DBZ. With Legend of Zelda-style gameplay...

 

That's the one. I heard the second one was better but the first one was awful. Especially disappointing since Dragon Ball Advanced Adventure was pretty fun.

 

that ljn (of course) jurassic park game for nes but ported to gameboy. i thought it'd be cool, because dinosaurs, but it's ljn. there's a triceratops stampede level where if a brat gets trampled, you take damage.

oh and you can't save. at all.

my dad would play it to kill time and drew up crude maps on lined paper.

... likewise, the ljn jungle book nes-gb port also sucked. obz.

 

The worst game? Probably would have to be Sonic '06. Gave up and just sent back the game from rental when I got to Radical Train as Sonic because the controls were too broken to use to deal with that timed section. The worst game I own and a decent contender for shit game would probably be Prison Tycoon 3; the game was unintuitive as fuck and so glitch riddled it was near impossible to play.

The cringiest game I ever played? This: