Legal Jail of Fail

kind of e repost from KF:

There's something about the way Chris talks at people that's so wrong. It goes beyond just the stilted and awkward choice of words, how he always can't not tl;dr, the semicolon overuse, and the autistic Capitalizing for Emphasis.

It really is like Chris is delirious from an endless fever.

 

It's frighteningly true. Sometimes, it seems like there is a dice in Chris's mind. Everytime he wants to say a word, that dice rolls to determine whether the next word should be a noun/verb/adjective/adverbe/etc.

 

Reminds me of how CWC-style "humor" is just "Random-access humor".

 

And again we see the failing of the Virginia public education system.

 

I think they didn't want to get sued by Borb, so they just let CWC pass no matter how crappy he did.

 

Fuck, if only it were just when he's trying to be funny.

 

So news got out that Chris had sent yet another letter to Kengle.

https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/...chen-has-an-intense-meltdown.2136/#post-33011

 

I hear Kengle is really smug that he's getting all these letters from Chris.

 

imagine living such a mundane existence that getting letters from a crazy autistic internet celebrity in jail for incest is a highlight of your life
I guess Kengle would just go back to boiling hamburgers and collecting coins if he never learned about lolcows

 

Kengle's probably my top candidate for the person who will attempt to support Chris if he ever gets out. He comes off as a wannabe sucessor of Null. He did make Onion Farms to be one of the cool kids and brag that he made his own forum, after all.

Imagine if that becomes the highlight of your life, adopting a literal motherfucker.

 

That is a couple that even Jerry Springer wouldn't want to talk to.

 

Eh, Fiona didn't seem that picky about it at first. I think that indicates some people really are that desperate, and being a motherfucker doesn't really stop that.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Heilberg is wondering who at the Public Defender office he pissed off.

 

See, I keep thinking that these continuances keep happening because his defendant keeps having to recover from a stroke after realizing he has to defend Chris Chan.
https://youtube.com/shorts/WqnqdQTPM-M?feature=share

 

Looks like Chris reacted predictably to Kengle trying to be "the next Clyde Cash" by trying to influence Sonichu.

Just like when Waterman tried to do so with "Bananasauros".

 

I've admitedly never read Kengle's Sonichen comics, so I'm not too sure what this is supposed to entail. I have to wonder what he planned to do with Sonichu interacting with his buffalo cubes though. Maybe Chris would start drawing Sonichu cubes.

 

Sonichen was a comic?

Last I checked it was a crappy very "soft SF" story (like Futurama - nowhere near as "hard" as 2001) about some freakish Earth-clone of "lost mutant clones". Last time I checked, all Kengle wrote was a dull, encyclopedic-style droning about the formation and evolution of "Planet Gaus". That was supposed to set up the actual story, but Kengle never got around to writing it then.

 

Ah, I see. So Sonichen was more some weird planned novella series. It does look a bit like a comic from what I have seen of it. A lot of the story seems to be lost too, because almost everything about it has never been archived to my knowledge.

ETA: On that same OF thread, Kengle included a link of sorts to his story (x)

This was apparently what he sent to Chris.

 

I think it was supposed to be just one novel. And it seems that like Chris, Kengle likes the "tell, don't show" style of storytelling. Also he once obsessed over word count IIRC.

And yeah, there's also hideous art he made of the setting as well, which is pretty much just freakish collages of clipart that looks like they were made in MS Paint.

Kengle likes to delete and start over repeatedly. Once he said he did that because he's "developing skills".

 

Made a thread for jail letters. DM me with links to previous letters (if they're in this thread) and I'll move them to the new thread for chronology's sake and make a master OP. Or, if someone else wants to do it, lmk.

Also, use the Kengle forum for Kengle shit. Since he insists on injecting himself into Chris' life and has that whole OnionFarms nonsense, might be better to have full-on discussions about him there.