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Meta What If?

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by Hellblazer, Feb 25, 2016.

  1. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    Would that keep Chris from living in a David Lynch movie like he does?
     
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  2. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

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    If Chris were still a virgin with rage, he'd survive (probably through dumb luck), because (usually) virgins survive horror movies
    He's had hookers and raped his mom, so he'd die in a way that is terrifying, screwed up, and hilarious
     
  3. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    So how long is the autistic "royal title" now?

    "Christopher Christian Ricardo Sonichu Pristine Christine Kaka Apple Chrisp Night Star Blue Heart Jesus Weston Chandler"?

    (wow what an egotist)

    What if the bear never inspired the first name change?
     
  4. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    What if Chris bought an alarm clock, used it to start waking up earlier in the morning, and (since the alarm clock fulfilled the prophecy of his sweetheart fixing his biological clock) he started dating his alarm clock?
     
  5. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    Then we would end up with a Cogsworth ripoff in Sonichu that has time based powers but also likely one other ability that seems random and has nothing to do with clocks.
     
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  6. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

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  7. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    It would be another relic of fail.
     
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  8. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    What if the only books Chris could read in the Jail of Fail were "hard science fiction" - no "psychic powers", no faster-than-light, no "magical crystals", etc?
     
  9. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

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    What if Chris started to read Goosebumps or some kids' educational books while in the jail of fail
     
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  10. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Has Chris ever read anything non-fiction that wasn't for school, other than "relationship guides" or that book comparing him to Warhol?
     
  11. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

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    IDK
    until he was in jail and reading the Bible and other religious materials I didn't know Chris read that much, I would think watching educational TV would be more his thing
    IIRC he used to watch Mythbusters, not super educational, but educational compared to his usual watching habits

    Edit - I added tags, LOL
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2022
  12. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    What if the next court date is yet another continuance?

    a very likely outcome :confused:
     
  13. The Scrunkly

    The Scrunkly would YOU scrunkly the when?

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    It's more or less a given IMO. Didn't Chris's previous "crusades" have a ton of continuances? I imagine this case is even more complex than those.
     
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  14. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    The case over the December 2014 incident wasn't finalized until October 2015.
     
  15. c-no

    c-no Dead Meme Internet Man

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    The next date of continuance will cue more weens to try and jump in through letters to Chris while sites like this, the Farms, any lolcow based Chanboard, and the Reddit board on CWC tries to milk whatever discussion they can have.
     
  16. The Scrunkly

    The Scrunkly would YOU scrunkly the when?

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    Speaking of, I'm curious to see what Chris does with that "Godess Log" he allegedly recorded all the addresses in when or if he gets out...
    I never thought Chris would just cut out the middle man and do the doxxing himself, but then again, I also never expected him to do (extremely) questionably consentual incest with his mom.
     
  17. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    What if, at the moment Chris got the sweepstakes prize, he was overcome with a vision of the lolcow future that awaited him?

    (sort of like that "PTSD cupcake dog" meme)

    not a "what if" anymore :confused:
     
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  18. c-no

    c-no Dead Meme Internet Man

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    Chris just ask Bob "daddy, what's a Pickleman?" and knowing none the better.

    What if Chris of today was able to come across all the Chris' of the past from sweepstakes winner Chris to high school Chris to the beloved clown shirt Chris?
     
  19. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Chris had a dream of meeting "Classic Chris". In that dream, "Tomgirl Chris" was creeped out by "Classic Chris" acting thirsty.
    (from the December 2019 Watchmen leaks)
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2022
  20. Wordsworth

    Wordsworth BREAKING NEWS AT THIS HOUR

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    ChrisChan: Into the Chris-Verse?