Star War The Third Gathers: Backstroke of The West

One of the best worst translations of all time, Backstroke of The West is a Chinese bootleg version of Revenge of The Sith translated phonetically into Chinese and back to English with absurd results.

Backstroke tells the tale of Allah Gold, a Hopeless Situation Master who fights in a war spanning the Milky Way against the Abruption Doctrine and The West. Allah and his friend Section Ratio Tile are members of the Presbyterian Church, an ancient order of Hopeless Situation Warriors who draw their strength from Wish Power.

However, The Presbyterian Church forbids any intimacy between Hopeless Situation Warriors, which causes trouble for Allah when he must keep his marriage to The Plumb Of secret. When Allah and Ratio Tile rescue Speaker D from Space General, Allah begins to fall to The Black Influence and is forced to make a choice that will affect the Milky Way forever...

Spoiler: Memorable quotes

"R2, do you is fucking?" - Ratio Tile
"You underrated my ability!" - Allah Gold
"He is in my behind!" - Troopses Pilot
"Invasion is my primary calendar." - Ray Gun
"You are already at full cock now. Spread all over the place, the empire" - D The Superior
"Kiss too loudly" - Blow The Skin
"This is what who fuck?" - Ratio Tile
"BATTER TO DEATH THEM!" - Space General
"Only guarantee my cuckoldry the safety" - Allah Gold
"DO NOT WANT!" - Reaching The West Of Reaches
"They want to know him at fuck" - Ratio Tile
"I will take the girl with the wife" - Senator
"Even since you I seperate I has been hating you" - The
"We must ruin the west" - Vanquish Is
"Mr. Speaker, we are for the big" - Ratio Tile

 

This translation somehow manages to make Episode 3 both way better and much worse at the same time.

 

Spoiler: the more you know

Chinese can use Hànzì (characters representing words) to phonetically spell out foreign names and words, regardless of what the characters mean -- it's the sounds that matter. Translated literally, such uses may not make much sense. For example, "New York" is 纽约 (Niǔyuē), which literally means something like "button approximate."

This could be a reason why there's rather odd translations in Backstroke of the West, like "Sith" to "West" or "Jedi" to "Presbyterian."

 

This belongs here, methinks

 

And there are recent attempts to deliberately do the same for all the other "Star Wars" movies.
It's not as easy to make funny lines, but there are some gems:


!!!

 

I can't believe they killed Snoopy in the sequel.