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Well at least that's an improvement.

 

Chris is studying on how to fly.

 

why not just strap a rocket to your back or learn to be a good pilot?

 

Wait, Chris flying?

 

I wonder if Chris will be the Emoji movie's only genuine fan.

 

I can't read this and not think of I sent that doopie a smily face, bitches love smily faces.

 

So, if you don't have what a smiley depicts, you can't use it. Gotcha

 

Now he's working on developing his psychic powers.

 

When he can perform the curse ye hame ha?

 

I'll be Lurking for a little while. Need to see what we're up against here. Once I come back, I'll have my professional recommendation of which Eldritch Abomination to invoke to combat this man. (By the way, not holding back a laugh, no, not at all.)

Status report 1: Going through the videos as promised, and at number 12 of 27. Lots of mumbo-jumbo, New-Age-y stuff, there was even a suggestion of invocation of Archangel Michael before beginning the exercise of, I think it was scrying. The stuff mentioned in the videos don't make much sense, and there isn't actually a lot of instruction in these videos, so overall, if psychic abilities are real, Chris didn't pick a very good playlist to help develop them. Will report back later.

Status Report 2: Finished with the first playlist of psychic abilities from YouTube user J-Bittersweet, the one we recently got a picture of. Turns out the suggestions for the powers are slow and small-scale, nothing to worry about. As presented in the videos, a standard witch-hunt-esque angry mob will do just fine. In the comic book, obviously it's a different story, but we all know there is a clear divide between the two. Will see if I can find out more. Yes, I'm making this post into a journal of sorts, because I think it's fun.

Status Report 3: I'm actually done. I've gone through the other playlists on his channel, the liked ones at least, and they're more of the same. Basically, not impressed with the magnitude of the abilities from the videos he's found, so I doubt he'd know what to do with any of these abilities if he were to ever get them. I mean, obviously he won't, but the idea of this exercise is to entertain the idea. With geokinesis, for example, I strongly suspect he'd only ever think of throwing rocks in a way like M. Night Shyamalamalor in his rendition of Last Airbender. If he were to try to translate any of this into the comic, I think it'd be a different story entirely, but there's still plenty to be done, solely based off of his lack of creativity alone. Contact your comic versions of yourselves and inform him/her/it that the ritual shall be to summon Cxaxukluth. That way, we have a dark master that seems above the likes of psychic abilities. And since I've spent the last 800 years neutering and lobotomizing these monsters, I can assure you all that this will not go wrong. That is all.

 

wanting to fly, psychic powers... perhaps Scientology would be appealing for chris?

EDIT Hee, had this thought of Chris learning precognition and instantly regretting it. OH CRAP, I'M LIVING UNDER AN UNDERPASS!

 

What convention is he going to?

 

I think he's going to Bronycon...or some other brony convention. Not sure what city but hopefully he has a freak out or does something bizarre and someone gets it on camera.

 

From the way that post is written it sounds like if anyone says anything other than "hello" he's going to flip his shit.

 

Chris is weird, one one hand he loves being world famous and still hits you with "yall should know me by now," like when Doopie asked for reference images. On the other hand if you approach him at all you're clearly a hater/troll/like a "rapist in a dark alley."

 

I was really hoping he was going to the Unite the Right Rally in Charlottesville on 12 Aug. oh well.

 

Apparently its in Baltimore, Maryland. According to Mapquest, its only about a 2 and a half hour trip from chris's shit hole town.