6/30 - Sonichu 11 pages 92-99, book declared finished

IIRC, i think Chris has said he goes to Staples to make copies of them?

 

99 pages. At that point, it's a graphic novel. Still, yeah, I don't think he's going to make much money off of this. He has to know someone's going to leak this.

 

I think he uses Lulu. I remember he got banned but I'm sure he just made another account.

 

I think that Chris is using a private service. He would buy copies of his book from a printing company, have them sent to him and individually mail them to the patrons.

I have no evidence for this, just an idea I had.

 

The comic's "Present Day" is currently in August of 2009. Bob won't be dead in the comics for another two years.

Uh, he made a FB post about it a few years ago. Identifying as a woman caused his Hobo form and Sonichu form to suddenly become 100% female while his human form was 100% male. Chris then had the idea to impregnate his Sonichu form with his own human jizz, then he was stuck as a Sonichu for three months before he shat out two eggs that hatched into his selfcest spawn.

And yes, Chris doesn't see how that either wouldn't work or result in a pair of horribly inbred Chus.

 

Bullet points

• Before I even start the pages themselves, I'd like to point out the status "Easter standard time." Could be a typo, could be that Chris actually thinks that's what it is called.
• As I predicted, now the finished issues won't be public

• Chris, thinking we're all goldfish, brings you the "zombie cure," when we all know what it was originally.
• "The stones"
• The constant "I'll fetch clothes" is a new cliché.
• I'm really glad Chris drew bursting cleavage on himself.
• So, is the medallion the source of Chris's power again? Because that was a big deal in Sonichu #10.
• Chris went through the trouble to mention where the Son/Rosechus will wear their stones, 20$ says they'll never be seen or mentioned again. It might be nice to see other transformations (I've already written about Falcon Punchy, Archangelica, and Silver Blake. Maybe I'll make some drawings and send them to Chris.)

 

Chris lost 11 patrons and $149 of pledges between the end of June and July.

These were his stats on June 30th:



Now he's at 20 patrons for $248.

This. It was confirmed by someone who has contact with him that he's using Lulu again.

 

It's like how Christians may believe that a finite and temporary sin somehow "warrants eternal hell" because it "offends God's infinite nature" -- an offense against Chris' gargantuan ego is not easily forgotten in his "young at heart" mind.

Also Chris seems to be kind of a hypocrite.

 

No, the journey is just beginning... until chris gets bored and waddles off.

 

And crash into slumber?

 

Also, he posted Waterman's script for the Bananasauros story.

Spoiler: Script

Page 24
[ We see Simonchu drilling in a dig site in Evanville (or wherever Simonchu lives) and we get an introduction of the character with Simonchu's pokemon stats and typing. Simonchu digs up a banana-shaped pokemon fossil and a common Razor Claw and receives a letter from Simonla, explaining she made a full recovery and wants Simonchu to visit her at Wild's place in CWCville ]

Page 25
[ Simonchu digs a tunnel to Wild's home Bugs Bunny style and greets Simonla with hugs and kisses and whatnot. He renounces Evan as his creator for attacking his sister with a voltorb and declares that Christian/Christine Weston Chandler is his true owner, father, and creator. Simonla agrees that Evan sucks. ]

Page 26
[ Simonchu sees Wild and Simonla being affectionate and he laments that Evan did not give him a girlfriend. Simonla and Wild recommend the Dating Education class because that's how they found each other. Simonchu shows them his fossilized banana fossil and says he's going to a pokemon museum to revive the unknown prehistoric pokemon ]

Page 27
[ Simonchu brings Sandy with him to the pokemon museum and they ressurect Bananasauros Jr., with a stat screen showing it is the tiny green banana pokemon and is a grass/dragon type. Sandy adores it's cuteness and wants to keep it as a pet for her Christmas present. ]

Page 28
[ They take the tiny green bananasauros jr. home and realize that it is unable to speak; it can only make warbling sounds and growling. Wild and Simonla have a chat with Sandy about pets being a big responsibility. When Sandy tries to feed him a banana, they decide she is not ready for a pet and are unsure what to do with Bananasauros jr. ]

Page 29
[ Punchy visits Wild, Simonla, Sandy, and Simonchu and is able to speak to Bananasauros Jr. using Random Access humor and he is the only one able to understand B.J.'s warbling noises. He takes Bananasauros Jr. as his new friend to visit a Buddhist Monastery. ]

Page 30
[ A training montage at the monastery shows Punchy teaching B.J. how to fight. There is also a lesson about dilligence and self-control during the Buddhist December holiday. At the end, B.J. evolves into a fully grown Bananasauros, the Grass/Dragon type Ancient Banana pokemon. ]

Page 31
[ Punchy brings Bananasauros home to meet Layla Flaffy and Layla gets angry at Bananasauros's noises, random access humor, and wrecking the house she just cleaned. Punchy tries to defend Bananasauros, but Layla won't accept excuses and leaves Punchy. ]

Page 32
[ Punchy is sad that Layla doesn't love him anymore, but Bananasauros cheers him up by relating a story that he lost his girlfriend, Mrs. Bananasauros when he got fossilized and devovled, but he's happy now with Punchy. Punchy declares that they're going to be the best roommates ever in a large splash panel of them together. ]

Page 33
[ Simonchu shows Wild and Simonla the razor claw he found, and Wild guesses that it would be a perfect Christmas gift for Angelica's boyfriend, Reginald Sneasel. Wild delivers the claw to Angelica and she giftwraps it lovingly. ]

Page 34
[ Angelica gives Reginald his christmas gift early in their bedroom in the church attic. He unwraps the claw and is excited that he'll be able to evolve soon. He loves it so much he takes it to bed with them. ]

Page 35
[ Reginald Sneasel volves into Reggie Weavile overnight. Angelica is angry in the morning because he scratched up the bed with the razor claw and she is no longer attracted to his Weavile form, kicking him out onto the street. ]

Page 36
[ Reggie is crying on a street bench in the cold, but he notices Layla angrily walking by. They lock eyes together, and Layla professes that the weavile she sees is the sexiest male pokemon in her opinion. Reggie tells her that he is Reginald and that they were in the dating education class together. ]

Page 37
[ Layla doesn't rememebr him from the Dating Education class, but she is sorry that they didn't get paired up. She tells him she got angry at Punchy and broke up with him. The dating ed pairings doesn't matter now, because he evolved into a sexy weavile and now they can be together and love each other. But, somewhere far away, trapped under a mountain is a mysterious villain (Sun Monkeychu, the Electric Monkey Thunder God) who monologues about getting revenge on the Bananasauros that imprisoned him]

Page 38
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Chris literally lecturing his fans who didn't get their pledges in.....real smart strategy....

 

To be fair, those were the 11 weens who just posted fake pledges.

 

Fair enough.

 

Huh. So breaking up Reggie and Angelica and Punchy and Layla was Waterman's idea, but Bananasaurus being a reincarnated human teenager was Chris's. I would have guess the other way around - the former seemed like an excuse for Chris to excise more troll influence, while the latter... well, Bananasaurus seemed about as retarded as Waterman, so I assumed he was just a blatant self-insert with a name change.

 

Either way, I suppose it killed two birds with one stone as they'd say, but yeah, it is odd it wasn't what we thought.

EDIT: I'm guessing this was the 'reboot' Chris wanted to make all these years, given the circumstances.