Fifty Shades Shitter.

Is out this weekend.

Let's all giggle at how it manages to be even worse than the original Fifty Shades of Shit film that appeared in 2015.

According to the review of it that appeared in today's Guardian, there's a lot of gratuitous shower scenes, as if the actors wanted to wash the awfulness of the material they had to plod through off them.

 

I'm always amazed by straight/vanilla peoples' ability to completely imagine what kink actually is. The fuck is "darker?" Bloodplay? Asphyxiation? Mr Grey being cucked by a black dude?
A big part of 50 Shades success is due to the proliferation of the Kindle. Most romance and/or porn books have really obvious covers, so you can't read it on the trade lest you be judged. You can read anything on an eReader and it won't give you away, plus you can put a password on it so kids can't get in. Romance is the most read novel genre among straight women and it was women having literacy (plus comfy furniture) that really got casual reading and novels to kick off. So in the grand scheme of things it isn't too surprising that this book series became popular, but you have to be seen IRL to go to a movie theater to watch a movie. I wonder how many fewer people go see the movie because of this?
Also that movie poster is fucking stupid who's idea was that

 

I'm surprised that they managed to make this movie considering the lead actors hate each other and the woman who directed the first film washed her hands of the series because E.L. James is a control freak and impossible to work with.

 

Erica Leonard (for that is her real name) talks big for a bint whose claim to fame is writing Twilight fanfic and putting it through MS Word's find and replace function.

 

Anyone who sees this movie, is as autistic as Chris is.

 

Turns out there's a lot of lonely housewives out there

 

I was kinda hoping for a Nuttymadam3575 reaction video because that's exactly the demographic they were going for but alas, she's vanished off the face of the internets.

 

I'm surprised anyone in Hollywood actually gave control to the author. That, like, never happens.

 

Maybe she forced a clause into the contract when signing over the movie rights? I mean, this is her "baby" after all.

 

So basically, . That sounds about right.

 

The first film was pretty bad and basically just a worse rip-off of 9 1/2 weeks with Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger.

 

And also haven't figured out how to find BDSM porn on the internet.

 

And think that going to watch a porn in public is somehow a good idea.

 

Fifty Shades Darker?

I thought we already had Fifty Shades of BLACK!

 

In any case, I can't imagine James will represent a boon for author-studio relations going forward.

 

She's far from the first bitch to do shit like this. Laurell K. Hamilton has been beating James at the "impossible for anyone to work with" game for years. She demands total creative control over everything, regardless of medium, and by her own doing killed any chance of those freaking Anita Blake books becoming a TV series or movies. Stephanie Meyer was also a pain to work with when they were filming the Twilight movies, if I recall correctly, and freaked out the cast because she kept fangirling all over them.

What I've come to realize is that you should never work with a woman who writes about vampires. Hamilton, Meyer, James (cause Twilight fanfic), Clare, and Rice are all crazy.

 

Didn't one of the dudes in twilight talk about how nuts Meyer is?