Least favorite Chris moment

I like how Asperchu started, both the saga and the comic...

But as they went on, both turned to shit...

The Saga was the Death of Classic Chris as the lengths they went to kill off Simonla basically broke him. It wasn't funny anymore, he was just this shell of a manchild and would never be the same.

Plus the Asperchu comic started out very funny, being about this weirdo bizzaro overly flamboyant version of Chris, but as the comic went on and it developed more of a story.... It just descended into edgy shock value that just had me rolling my eyes, even Asperchu's character was tainted as he just became more of a selfish dick. Everything funny about Asperchu diminished as he became more selfish, toxic, and just evil to everyone around him.

I understand it's meant to mirror all the ways Chris thinks he's the hero, but is often the villain, but it took a lot of the fun of the comic out. It being lighthearted and simple made it a lot funnier, as it parodied Chris while still succeeding at being a somewhat kid friendly comic, which felt like part of the joke as Sonichu tried to be "Y7" but continously pulls shit that'd never fly on even the most liberal of networks...

"Strictly platonic joy boys for life!" That was funny!

I consider the Death of Asperchu to occur when Metal Sonichu kills the Chaotic Combo. While it's an interesting scene, with Metal Sonichu showing a level of competence as a villain that defies all Saturday Morning Cartoons and only deciding to kill the Chaotic Combo when Angelica points out they'll just come back to fight again... (From a writing perspective, this is a great tonal shift moment and a wonderful use of the "Wrong Genre Savvy" trope, as Angelica is no longer in a book where competence and morality are linked)

But.... a lot of the darkness just feels forced and edgy for the sake of edgy, not really feeling in place with these kinds of characters or tone. (I'm not too fond of Tails Gets Trolled for similar reasons, though it's much worse in Asperchu)

Asperchu turning into an evil sociopath makes even less sense as Ian Brandon Anderson (What Chris is called in that book) becomes a character in this. It's like having James Bond show up in an Austin Powers movie, kinda kills the point of Austin being there...

That said I did like that Asperchu became less and less important as the story went on, as it mirrors Sonichu and how the book is more like "Chris' Life, but with the least reliable narrator possible!", and has almost nothing to do with Sonichu, but... the dark turns just killed the joke for me. That said they did their job as it pissed Chris off more than Asperchu being a HeXbox Loving Chris Parody that loved pickles, and that was the real point after all, not making an enjoyable comic.

Killing off Simonla btw was a fruitless endevaor as she'd get put back in, and Evan's reasons for wanting it "I need to see her die so that I can move on, but as long as she's alive that's a connection between me and Chris" were mentally challenged and ultimately served as the reason he'd leave the internet entirely.. he likely came back under a psuedonym but I don't know what that is.. No Evan wasn't a trollsona! I knew him long before he had anything to do with Chris.

That said Evan was a jackass, and if I thought for a second Chris would honor a financial transaction, I'd have commissioned a Simonla Medallion from him as a Personal when he was still taking commissions, but everything that did go wrong was pretty much everything I knew would go wrong. (Chris getting too lazy to work on commissions, never shipping anything, just pocketing the money and moving on not used to the idea that his actions have consequences. Being too stupid to know he can't just randomly stop the second something becomes too much work if it's for another party and not his own amusement)

 

Now his idea of God is himself. I do not think I know of anyone else with such a fanatical level of narcissism as "Chris Chan" -- not even among the infamous self-centered historical figures.

FTFY? There are autists who can grasp the concept of allegory and non-literal thinking. Though the "fundies" do take a rather literal approach to the Bible, such as "Young Earth creationism".

 

I mean there are sadly people who always think God is on their side and will always do anything they want.

There was actually a local Church who's facebook I followed (I just accepted every "Hey you might know this person" it threw my way back when I still used that), who blamed a bunch of floods that happened around that time on homosexuals and made the bold claim that he summoned God to strike down the homes of every sodomite in the county!

Then later he was asking for donations because his house got flooded. (It was basically a mini-apocalypse for the whole area) I just posted what he said about God using the flood to punish homosexuals, and added "I dunno man, seems a little gay to me."

He was fucking livid.

 

It wasn't cool when he maced that guy.

 

I think what pisses me off is that he tried to claim self defense on that shit...

 

I was there at "ground zero" on the CWCki Forums on December 26th, 2014 less than an hour after that shit dropped, and chat was fucking imploding over it and the site was running like shit, all because of the immediate massive surge in activity this brought in.

It was a lot easier for us to laugh at and crack jokes about than the vehicular assault against Michael Snyder 3 years earlier, seeing as how nobody got seriously hurt this time unlike then.

Despite my nostalgia from 9 years ago when I was an idiot edgelord 16 year old boy, I have to play devil's advocate too. If you were actually there at the Fashion Square Mall GameStop in person that night, that shit was probably way less amusing than watching the goofy half a minute YouTube video. Imagine you were buying some games, some controllers, or god forbid a new console, and then this stupid bullshit happens over fucking nothing, and you have to temporarily be kicked out of the store and wait until mall security and the police clear the place, just to finish your purchases. The GameStop looked like it was jumping that night from the customer foot traffic we could see, so that shit had to be annoying.

While everybody has always mentioned that Chris didn't get the yellow shirted GameStop employee in the face with the pepper spray because his aim sucked, getting sprayed in the chest had to still give off an awful strong smell that burned his nostrils. Not only that, but I hear that shit often burns even just on skin, and has a horrible overpowering smell even to people nearby where it was sprayed. Yeah needless to say, it isn't A-Logging to suggest that Chris definitely deserved to get arrested and charged with assault for pulling this crap. Over fucking Sonic Boom advertisements no less too.

Sometimes as much as we don't want to be the party pooper, we just have to admit some of the wildest and wackiest Chris Chan moments are also some of our least favorite Chris moments character wise on his part.

 

I'm somewhat older and the 2010s were a blur to me, so that macing incident -- and that fire -- feels like maybe a few years ago at most. Instead of almost a decade. Also the response to the fire taught that lolcow the wrong lesson: soon after was when the e-begging began, and that crap still continues to this day AFAIK.

 

Holy shit, I legitimately didn't even know this until now. I knew he called Bob, Barb, and Chris a few times, but had no clue he was Jackie. I always thought the worst things Alec did as a troll was make a goofy over the top parody comic that was deliberately designed to piss Chris off, and sometimes be a nuisance to the Chandlers over the phone.

I quite liked Alec in my early days of engaging in Chris discussions 10 years ago and always liked what he added to discussions, and he was a lot of fun during the aftermath of the GameStop mace incident. I wish he was on here, but needless to say I bet he has many regrets, like most OG Chris trolls do nowadays.

 

Again, I would like to ask him whether or not he got creepy messages from men who didn't know his Jackie profile was fake when he had that dating profile. I mean, he literally said he liked sex so that is like, a magnet for horny men thinking they would get an easy lay.

 

I feel like when you play the Sonichu game, no one wins.

 

Remind me which one was Lars again

 

Lars McNulty was the cartoonish over the top stereotypical hood black guy obsessed with model boats, who was supposed to be Jackie's ex boyfriend. Chris at first was beefing with Lars to prove he was a more of a man than him, and then later Chris got along surprisingly well with him in a call. Lars was like a character straight out of an episode of the Boondocks, who was completely real to Chris.
https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Lars

 

Probably both. The Lars call is something we all find sort of funny in a nostalgic sense, but looking back, is incredibly cringe worthy. Mainly because of the really edgy racist humor, which was the still the standard on the internet back in 2010. Lars being a cartoonishly over the top racial stereotype who felt like a character from the Boondocks was stupidly obvious to everyone except Chris, which is what I think made people back then find it so funny. One of those classic moments where any other internet dumbass who was even slightly smarter than Chris would have recognized it was an obvious troll.

This is all not even taking into account the fact that Lars was part of a catfishing scheme that ultimately went on for 2 years.

 

"Lars" is the second time that lolcow was trolled by a troll posing as a fictional character that I know of.

(first being that guy from Rocket Power)

 

I don't know if I'd say Surfshack Tito was the first person pretending to be a fictional character to fuck with Chris. Chris was easily tricked into believing that Clyde Cash and Lee Hotti were the same person.

The funny thing about this iconic photo becoming forever associated with being the avatar of Clyde Cash is, that wasn't originally part of the plan. The initial trollsona for Clyde Cash was supposed to be a plain and boring Asian-American businessman who fucked with Chris in his spare time. However, in early spring 2009, without any input or coordination from the rest of the Miscreants, Lordsillynipples sent Chris this photo in an email claiming it was a photo of Clyde Cash. Chris being Chris, of course bought it without questioning it or digging deeper.

This resulted in the infamous "Secret Weapon" video right at the end of March 2009, made by Chris assuming he finally had leverage against Clyde.

Clyde thought that this series of events and Chris believing this to be a picture of him was fucking hilarious, so he decided to run wild with this new trollsona of himself being some stereotypical spray tanned Italian-American club douche that felt like an absurd racial caricature from Jersey Shore.

On the same subject, going even further back to late 2007, Jason Kendrick Howell used to LARP as Liquid Snake and Big Boss when mocking Chris. I know that his old Encyclopedia Dramatica username was "Liquid Snake", which was also his old 4chan tripcode on /v/. "Globalbigboss" was another Metal Gear related username of his. He used to post cosplay photos of himself wearing an eyepatch dressed like Big Boss in the later half of Metal Gear Solid 3, which Chris incorporated into Jason's appearance in Sonichu. Chris seemed to believe this was a look he donned everywhere in his everyday life. Like Chris probably thought that Jason actually went to the supermarket looking like this.

 

I think that he thinks life is like a Saturday morning cartoon, and trolls made it seem like one with all those big happenings he was too stupid naive to see through.