Meta Would Chris survive prison?

Oh god.

 

Really it depends on whether he goes to a mental care facility or to state prison.

 

Semi-related: I was rereading the Newsweek piece, and the thrust of David Heilberg’s response was “Chris needs help, and has needed help for a long time, and there are only so many places that can help.” Whether this is him admonishing the public not to rush to judgment or whether this will be a cornerstone of the defense remains to be seen.

Another reason to avoid a trial at all costs: The biggest objectors to Chris getting professional help (what Heilberg wants) have always been…Bob and Barbara Chandler. Given the overwhelming attention the case has received, I would think no one’s eager to open up the can of worms that is blaming the victim.

 

What if Chris becomes a jailhouse tattoo artist and we start to get thugs walking around with Sonichu tats?

 

He's going to join the Aryan Brotherhood for protection. Neo-Nazi saga begins as soon as he's released.

 

Oh god

 

I know Luka, isn't it alarming?

 

Yep

 

I may be in the minority here, but I honestly think Chris WILL survive prison. Will the Chris we know die and a new Chris rise from the autistic ashes? Who's to say? But let me make my case.

1) Never underestimate Chris's ego:
As crazy as he is, Chris's deep-seated ego will not allow him to die. He will find a way to survive. Be it be somebody's bitch, play the autism card to maximum benefit, or any other way he can come up with.

2) Never underestimate how Fate loves to keep Chris in the game:
Chris should have checked out many times already. Be it from outside calamity or the results of his selfish actions, the events in his life should have ended it a long time ago. If there is a god, it knows Chris will keep the insanity train rolling for our morbid amusement as long as it keeps protecting Chris.

 

Can you imagine working at a 7-11 and you get robbed by some dude with a Sonichu tat on his arm? Fucking awesome.

 

You're not kidding there. I made a bet that Jared Fogle will be killed during his hard time, and all that's really happening is me inching closer to losing that bet.

 

I agree with the both of you

 

well, he did go a nice federal prison. That’s probably why he hasn’t gotten beat up:

https://www.delish.com/food-news/a26323468/subway-jared-fogle-life-in-prison/

 

Agreed

 

Chris being out of prison assuming it doesn't kill off Chris would become an even worse saga if Chris doesn't bother to take any initiative to better life. Add to that not having any of the LEGO's or vidya and only a phone if Chris can get one.

 

He would still have access to offender reentry and disability programs, but yeah, life as an ex con sex offender isn't going to be easy

 

Would the parole board grant Chris an early release? Just to get rid of the distraction and annoyances he would bring?

 

I am with you on this, but the one thing that chris is good at is pissing other people off. I see one of two things happening if he is let loose in the general population of where ever he ends up.

One, he mouths off to the wrong inmate. This wont get chris killed, but his time will be made harder by the fact that nobody will go near him. You think school clicks are bad, try being on the wrong side of a prison click.

Two, he pisses off the staff. The staff in a facility is responsible for the care and wellbeing of the inmates, but there are different ways of looking at "care and wellbeing." Long story short, chris loses access to privaleges and snacks, and has a blind eye turned to any bullies that accost him.

 

I think Chris will survive because people even dumber and crazier than Chris have made it through.
It will just be very unpleasant for him, even if he doesn't get shanked or sexually assaulted. He will get bullied relentlessly, worse than any trolls he's previously dealt with.