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Meta What If?

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by Hellblazer, Feb 25, 2016.

  1. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    What if Chris lived in New York City instead of some backwater town in Virginia? How would growing up among such a diverse crowd have made his life different?
     
    QuiltGuilt likes this.
  2. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    Running around with a horn strapped to his head would have gotten him mugged on the subway.
     
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  3. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    Yeah I don’t think he would’ve made it in a big city. It would’ve eaten him alive and he’d be dead by now, in jail or a bag “lady”.
     
  4. Sakura97

    Sakura97 Well-Known Member

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    What if Chris wrote, directed, and starred in a movie based on his life story?
     
  5. Uncle Frank

    Uncle Frank Occasionally slips through the cracks

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    [​IMG]

    Too easy.
     
  6. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    What's that? A homeless "woman?"
     
  7. Sakura97

    Sakura97 Well-Known Member

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    What if Chris found out about order 66 and tried to warn the Jedi about it?
     
  8. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    No one would believe him. In the star wars universe he's the weird nerf-herder who talks to his imaginary friends.
     
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  9. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    I love he put that goofy quote on the front. And the 1994 Chris is too funny. Look at that face, autism captured perfectly with magic marker.
     
  10. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    Chris hears he can get free housing, food, and education from the military and signs up. What branch does he try out for?
     
  11. Uncle Frank

    Uncle Frank Occasionally slips through the cracks

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    Probably intel since he'll think it requires less physical work.
     
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  12. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    And he's just that smart!
     
    YamchasOnlyFan likes this.
  13. Erika

    Erika RL incel hunter

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    Army, since Bob was in it. tbh he's never taken much a care in the armed forces so if he's even aware there are other branches

    intel is an MOS, not a branch and no way would he make it into those spots. No matter what your job is you have the same basic, that keeps getting easier, but still well above Chris level. Age also plays a big factor, I knew a guy who joined in great shape at 28... he took a combat MOS as well, just being older took a serious toll on him, as the fresh faced teens just heal faster. Then he had to deal with AIT.... Or his branches training running around shooting things.
    I'd love to see Chris ASVAB score, I think he could safely land a spot as crash test dummy or hand grenade tester.

    What if Chris saw a cryptid (loch ness monster, big foot etc) How would he react, would he share it?
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017
  14. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    He'd share it and if it looked realistic enough, he'd be featured on a YouTube channel that talks about that sort of stuff. I'd be laughing and laughing at the video(s) as the "announcer" tried to keep it serious, knowing that it's Chris's shit they're discussing.
     
  15. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    I actually thought you wrote 'grenade taster' for a second. Sleep deprivation or wishful thinking on my part, you decide but regardless; I laughed.

    Probably take it as a sign that psychic powers and magic is real, and start believing every UFO, Big Foot, and ghost story is real. This would push chris past his limits and hit super saiyan 5 on the insanity scale. Chris would go back to believing his curses and blessings have real power, with his fictional characters acting as talismans against evil internet troll magic. We'd see chris returning to his old self, shouting and sperging out about anything that doesn't go his way, about how he's going to punish people with hexs and curses like a good christian should. Of course, chris inevitably ends up either in jail for causing a scene at a Micky-D's for being too creepy from trying to 'give a child his blessing' or believing an internet hypnosis scam that claims to give you the power to levitate so chris tests it by jumping off the roof.
     
  16. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    If someone can catch a mortar round with their teeth, then tasting a grenade is not that far off.
     
  17. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    I was thinking more of chris putting a grenade in his mouth, like someone told him it tastes different with the pin taken out.
     
  18. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    TBH I’d probably rather eat a grenade and just end it than drink Fanta cum.
     
    YamchasOnlyFan likes this.
  19. southernfriedweirdo

    southernfriedweirdo Finger-lickin' good

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    That one bit from The Mask comes to mind - "That's a spicy meatball!"
     
  20. Sakura97

    Sakura97 Well-Known Member

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    What if Chris ate a burnt big mac at McDonalds and tried to sue the entire company for it?