The Official Waterthread - In Which Waterman’s Retardation is Collected

I don’t think Waterman deserves his own sub, but damn, does he sperg a shitload on Chris’ wall.

Here, we can collect Waterman’s “Best of”. (Please link to the original Chris or Kengle FB post too.)

Also, in a cow crossover, we can discuss how bad Kengle thirsts for Waterman’s mom, (AKA Watermom) and become Waterman’s new Waterdad.

Have at it, Kids.

 

William Elliot Waterman is a master troll with a secret plan to troll Chris that everyone will envy him for for all time.

Source: his supreme edginess - William Elliot Waterman ​

 

Who is he? Im kinda out of loop, is a new troll??

 

Waterman is as autistic as Chris, and almost as unattractive as Chris. Not a winning combination.

 

Although I no longer have the caps, there was a forum waterman posted on where he role played as a Viking's pet crow. Like, he literally pretended to be a crow. His posts went like this.

"*Caw*Caw*Caw*Caw*Caw*Caw*
Translation: I'm waterman and I diddle kids"

It's always stood out to me as the spergiest thing imaginable. I honestly can't think of anything more retarded than that.

After he was banned he made a new account pretending to be the Viking and was like "Ja I iz ze viking zat owned zat crow and he vants to know vhat Pokemon has ze strongest attack. Danke you"

If someone still has those caps that would be great because it's one of my favorite things ever.

 

My understanding was that he’s somehow related to Anna (cousin, I think?) and was introduced to Chris through her. He thirsts for Gloria Tesch and Kengle thirsts for his mom. (Kengle is even friends with her on FB, which is where “Kemmeth” came about, because she’d made that glorious typo in a comment on his FB wall once.)

Waterman makes the dumbest posts and thinks he’s some sort of maestr trole, but he’s just a dumbass ween. Supposedly, he was the one responsible for Chris reading the whole “Bluebird of Happiness” crap a while back.

 

For the uninitiated, there is an article on him in the CWCki -

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/William_Elliott_Waterman

He's a white knight (usually, sometimes a ween), cousin of Anna, and a sperg (he really does have Asperger's)

 

My memories of Waterman
⋅That time Chris found out his galpals were fake and posted some Pokémon to reflect his emotions. Waterman commented that he likes the Pokémon he used.
⋅ That time Waterman was made admin of the Keep Sonic Original Facebook group, and immediately banned Kim and threatened to release the personal information of every member unless they joined the Commander Keen forums and demand one of their admins got banned. The forums blocked new membership hours later.
⋅That time Chris made a status saying he liked the Lego movie, Waterman comments about what makes an A-log.
⋅That time he came to the Farms and implied that he basically controlled the Chris content and we had to do what he said (I think it was the Commander Keen shit again.) This lead to Chris unfriending him.
⋅The time he got in a PM fight with Alec Benson Leary, where he accuses Asperchu (a comic that's been done for half a decade) to be a parody of Sonichu, Alec argued it was a parody of Chris. The best parts of their slap fight was Waterman bragged about having a "transcript", something literally every American has thanks to anti-truancy laws, and his mention of struggling to write his Ed Edd n Eddy/Twilight crossover fanfic. He claimed Twilight is so bad, it took "years to research." Although he apparently can't stand to read books that would take a normal human about 4 months to blow through, but he's writing a serious fanfic.

No fooling, the fanfic is here, and it's pretty remarkable how bad it is.
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7070469/1/A-New-Ed-in-Town

 

He honestly said Twilight took years to research? Is he writing a parody or studying for his master's thesis?

 

I remember this. I seem to recall him acting like a huge fucking edgelord and talking like a video game villain, and kept making dumb orders expecting the Farms to comply to them or else he'd cut off the content. He made like one thread and subsequently got banned.

 

i still like the fact the alec pretty much bodied him in those PM's and the fact that he hated kiwifarms because everyone and their mother told him to stop acting like he's six.

 

Oh, this is going to be good.

 

Sexy sexy thread guys, but should't this go on CWC Orbiters? Or was this thread created just before that board came to be?

 

the latter.

 

But I got settled here! Took my shoes off and everything.

 

He used to have an Orbiter’s sub, but literally all he does is comment on Chris (and Gloria Tesch’s) FB’s. Otherwise he’s extremely boring and not worthy of his own sub.

 

Watermelon looks like he's in severe pain in every photo he is in.

 

I still can't get over the fact that there is an active forum dedicated to Commander Keen in 2017.



I seem to remember Waterman briefly learning his lesson and being off the radar for a while, only to return back to his usual autism.

Feel like he's too boring to warrant a separate thread.

 

I knew Waterman was out there, but not that far.